Tag Archives: curse

Jungle Cruise

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Vampire Owl: Do you remember the last time we went for a cruise in the river?

Vampire Bat: Are you talking about the journey through the River of Blood?

Vampire Owl: No, that was only a temporary river caused by the war with the werewolves.

Vampire Bat: The river still stands strong with the result of the new battles.

Vampire Owl: The blood in there is not enough even for Uncle Dracula on an eventful night.

Vampire Bat: Still, it is a river with blood.

Vampire Owl: There are other rivers which hold interesting red liquids.

Vampire Bat: You do think about a water world much different.

Vampire Owl: Yes, you have to respect the tradition of the water world.

Vampire Bat: We respect just the tradition of the blood around here.

[Gets a vegetable samosa and three cups of elaichi tea].

What is the movie about? :: In the sixteenth century, a group of Spanish conquistadors had searched the interior jungles of South America for something known as the tears of the moon, which came from a lesser known tree. It was a very long search which went on for so many years that people actually got too tired about it. The flowers of this tree is supposed to cure a good number of illnesses and heal injuries, while even believed to be lifting curses according to the locals. After many people die in search of the special tree’s flowers, the tribal people help a few of them with the unexpected medicine brought out of the flower. When the conquistadors force them to reveal the location of the tree and then burns the village, the chief of the tribe curses them before dying, and all of them are forced to live there forever – near the Amazon river, and under the power of the jungle which watches them at all times. This might not be the best known of the legends surrounding Latin America, but in 1916, seems to be the one which has the attention of a little too many people.

So, what happens with the events here as we just keep looking? :: Dr Lily Houghton (Emily Blunt) and MacGregor Houghton (Jack Whitehall) are searching for the same thing more than anyone else. MacGregor presents his sister Lily’s paper at the Royal Society in London, which the audience feels is rather dumb. But at the same time, Lily is searching for an artifact which might be the key to finding the tree. She hopes that the flowers of the tree can actually save millions of people all around the world. She finds the artifact within the society house, while MacGregor had created the diversion. She also manages to escape the area, but not without gaining a lot of attention. While the scientists continue to consider it as a ridiculous myth, Prince Joachim (Jesse Plemons) of Prussia is very much determined to find the tree for the Germans. He has also done a lot of research related to it, and spent a lot of money. As the youngest son of the emperor, he is determined to get what he wants, at any costs, and even has a lot of troops, ships and even a submarine ready for him.

And what is to be added to the adventures around here? :: The scene shifts to Brazil – Frank Wolff (Dwayne Johnson) is someone who has been offering cheap jungle cruises to people, and he has also added some fake theatrical danger events to make things look more alive and interesting. When Lily asks, Frank is hesitant at first, but agrees later, as he is desperately in need of money and had also looked for the flowers by himself a long time ago, before getting stuck there. After getting back his boat’s engine from the man who had lent him money, the three start the journey together, after evading the German submarines which come at them. But it is only the first problem that they have, as more troubles await them. There are the tribal people that await in the jungles as well as the dangerous animals. Along with the same, there are also those Spanish conquistadors who are caught in the forests to live forever in a terrible state. The Germans would also make a grand return. Are these people ready to face all the troubles that await in the path?

The defence of Jungle Cruise :: This movie once again brings a world which is full of adventure, and we also have the environment to be really good and suitable for the situations shown here. There is one world belonging to the jungle and river, as well as another one which goes further as we get close to the tree that serves as the destination. This world is that kind of place which we would really wish to visit for the natural beauty – the green world which is provided here only gets better as the movie progresses further. The journey is more or less taking us there to travel through the river and the mysteries that lies close to it, related to a curse. There is also some fine humour to add to it, and we don’t feel that we ever come short of the same. There is no better guarantee for entertainment than this movie, and it is basically a safe path for fun, suitable for all ages, and a perfect one for watching with family. We also have that memories of playing Tomb Raider and other related games with artifacts in the forests coming back to us.

Positives and negatives :: Whether it is Jumanji, Hobbs & Shaw or the rest of the Fast and the Furious series, The Rock a.k.a. Dwayne Johnson is the one actor whom we look forward to bring all the entertainment. The action and the humour sticks perfectly to him this time too, as the adventure only gets sharper for his character. He remains the muscle of the film, as he has been with so many other movies too. Whether in Edge of Tomorrow or A Quiet Place, Emily Blunt has the skill for some serious adventure, even though this one surely adds a certain funny side to it. She becomes the Tomb Raider of this particular movie, and a character like this never losses the charm. Edgar Ramirez also comes in nicely as one antagonist of the past. Jack Whitehall is more or less about the funny side. This is the kind of movie which one would love to watch in 3D, as there are so many elements which qualifies in making things better with visuals. Yet, the movie could have gone for a smarter progress with its myth, and it could have had more dangers being shown as part of the world. Some of the dialogues also seem to have come unnecessarily.

How it finishes :: Jungle Cruise stays close to its strengths and makes this one a very entertaining ride. The movie does know where it can stand without troubles. It doesn’t really try to move away from the safe zone in working with the content. It stays simple, and with the same, would attract all the audience with ease. This one is also the classic family friendly journey to which Dwayne Johnson is not a stranger – Journey to the Mysterious Island had provided something similar quite some time ago, as we remember such mysteries and legends getting the due. Well, you can always trust the Rock with that. The transportation to this particular world is done in a way that no kind of audience is left behind. It is the kind of world which can surely have an attraction in a theme park with its name. As we have not travelled that much in the last few years in the name of Corona virus and its restrictions, we are all going to have this virtual one.

Release date: 30th July 2021
Running time: 128 minutes
Directed by: Jaume Collet-Serra
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Emily Blunt, Edgar Ramirez, Jack Whitehall, Jesse Plemons, Paul Giamatti

<<< Click here to go to the previous review.

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Curse of Audrey Earnshaw

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Vampire Owl: I think that I have met this girl before.

Vampire Bat: No, she is not the witch who cursed you last year.

Vampire Owl: How can you be so sure? She had the same expressions.

Vampire Bat: The witches can be confusing with their looks.

Vampire Owl: You mean to say that they alter their appearances very often.

Vampire Bat: Yes, many more times than we do in a human city.

Vampire Owl: Yet, we can see through them, can’t we?

Vampire Bat: We are not immune to all kinds of magic.

Vampire Owl: We are still immune to dark magic.

Vampire Bat: Yes, but not all kind of dark magic. Some witches practice the darkest of magic, and we are often not strong enough to resist the same.

[Gets a vegetable samosa and three glasses of Vanilla shake].

What is the movie about? :: During the times when there were more and more settlements in North America, a group of families decided to separate from the Church of England, leading to the establishment of an isolated settlement, further away from the rest in the continent. Years passed, the the World Wars broke out, and science had the advantage over religion, with unrestricted expansions, but the villagers of this particular settlement kept their old ways of life alive. Later, in the year 1956, a strange phenomenon, which came to be known as the eclipse, a kind of pestilence spread throughout the settlement and its surroundings, poisoning the land and also corrupting the livestock. The only exception was the land belonging to one woman, Agatha Earnshaw (Catherine Walker), and he was suspected of heresy. She also gave birth to a girl child during the eclipse, but kept the child as a secret from the villagers who kept looking at her with suspecting eyes.

So, what happens with the events here as we just keep looking? :: The community has kept struggling without hope, and with a feeling that God abandoned them, and that there is no future for them, as the time shifts the 1973 – not many things have changed for this particular village far away from civilization. Agatha continues to live separated from everyone with her daughter who has now grown up, and yet remains hidden from the eyes of others. She tells Audrey that anyone who tries to come to their place is a villain, and that everyone in the village wishes to steal young girls like her. The villagers continue to despise her as she still has a great harvest all for herself, and is not ready to help even those who have been starving for days and close to death. Colm Dwyer (Jared Abrahamson) and Hannah Bridget Dwyer (Emily Anderson) are further angry about her as they lost their child for some illness, and lack of food comes naturally with the life. Everyone knows that there is a curse going on, and soon, they will have to take another step to change their lives.

The defence of The Curse of Audrey Earnshaw :: The film thrives on its atmosphere, which has so much in store with a setting which is established nicely with an initial writing about the premise – the first scene surely sets the mood, and the visuals nicely contributes to the same, as it does raise our expectations by quite some distance. If the story could have explained all the happenings better, the atmosphere could have elevated this one in the blink of an eye. There is the presence of blood and gore, but the same is not that much justified as we look at them. The main character does have the looks which are required, and there is always the feeling of having more than what meets the eye soon enough. We have seen films like The Witch, and so we are expecting something similar around here too, as the evil creatures of the night, from vampires and werewolves to zombies and demons, we are also interested in the witches to make the horror runs strong into a world of escapism that we always need.

The claws of flaw :: The real-life curse for the movie lies in the ending here. It doesn’t seem to know how to finish everything after building up all these. Running towards confusion is not what one would want with a film like this one. Finally, you are wondering what has actually happened, and there is always something wrong with the titular character, and it is not just the usual kind of wrong, but more, in a complicated manner. The movie is also really slow, and in between, there are scenes which don’t seem to make much of a sense, and we are always looking for some big terrifying sequence with sorcery to happen, but that is not there to be taken. There are no real witch-like gathering or frightening events happening in there, and due to the same, the movie has less strength as a horror movie, as it focuses on being a slow thriller. There were so many paths for this movie to follow, and none of them are taken, which brings some disappointment around here, as we don’t really get what we were expecting at all.

Performers of the soul :: Jessica Reynolds as Audrey Earnshaw is the young lady who is the reason for almost everything around here to happen – she has that kind of a look which would serve a witch, supported by the expressions and even movements. She has taken on the character which is a little bit too complex and strange, but managed to work with that well enough. She also has that stare that a witch would require, and her violence is unparalleled just like her curses. Catherine Walker as Agatha Earnshaw plays the mother, and she also remains as strange she can get, staying close to the character with the possible mysteries. Jared Abrahamson plays the role which is closest to a leading man, but he doesn’t really get much of a screen space either. Hannah Emily Anderson plays his wife, and that is done pretty well too. Sean McGinley adds well to the characters of interest in the movie, and so does Don McKellar, and later Geraldine O’Rawe. There are others who are just part of the world, and has something or the other to do at some occasions.

How it finishes :: There have always been something about the tales of witches in worlds created in any village far away from civilization, and with strange curses being felt all around. This one is no exception, even though it doesn’t make the best use of its resources, not living up to the strength that it displays in the beginning, and progressing to the end without enough of the explanations. You know that this movie was capable for much more, but we take this dark and disturbing story as it is, and enjoy is as much as we can, without that much expectations in horror. These movies serve as a reminder to how the world of strange beliefs have been, and how we have not become better people with science taking over – we are just the same if not worse, even without the supernatural, evil, distrustful and full of hate. We all have the devil in more people these days, and humanity’s lack of conscience has made the present world a worse place to live in than those days when people at least feared and revered God. Beware of the people around you more than the witches.

Release date: 2nd October 2020
Running time: 103 minutes
Directed by: Thomas Robert Lee
Starring: Catherine Walker, Jessica Reynolds, Jared Abrahamson, Sean McGinley, Geraldine O’Rawe, Don McKellar

<— Click here to go to the previous review.

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Madres

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Vampire Owl: How many horror movies can one watch in a small gap of a few hours?

Vampire Bat: We vampires do not have limitations in horror.

Vampire Owl: During the Corona virus times, there should be restrictions.

Vampire Bat: Not in the case of films, for we are not watching them in theatres.

Vampire Owl: You mean to say that vampires should go back to horror.

Vampire Bat: We were always in horror. You didn’t know that?

Vampire Owl: This is not the horror that we were born into.

Vampire Bat: You should remember that all kinds of horror are connected.

Vampire Owl: Not in the watch of owls. Maybe that works for bats.

Vampire Bat: Still doing better than the Vampire Crocodile.

[Gets a choclate cake and three cups of Munnar special tea].

What is the movie about? :: In the 1970s, a Mexican-American couple are expecting their first child, and during this time period, they move from Los Angelos to a migrant farming community in the nineteen seventeens, and he would be working as a manager in a farm. The area chosen for the same is in California, and the place seems to be quite peaceful and quiet enough for the baby when it arrives. Diana (Ariana Guerra), the pregnant lady is American, while Beto (Tenoch Huerta) is Mexican, and had migrated to the United States. The small town where they move to, seems to have more of a Spanish influence too. The first person that they meet in the town is Anita (Elpidia Carrillo), who provides them with a blessing of Holy Mary, and assures them that the town can be a wonderful place to live in, much to the dismay of Diana who wonders why it is not already such a place. Beto doesn’t work much about the same.

So, what happens with the events here as we just keep looking? :: As Beto goes for work, Diana feels that there is something strange about the place, and that doubt leads her to the outhouse building near the house, and she finds a few things which might have belonged to the previous owners. She also gets locked inside, and after somehow getting out, finds a severed eye being hung on tree outside the house. Beto feels that these were not things to be worried about, as the door might have closed due to the wind and the severed eye might have been there for a very long time, and maybe it meant something for the previous owners or the locals. They also meet the locals who seems to be friendly enough, but don’t get much of information, even though they end up having more acquaintances. Still, they remains more of Beto’s friends, as he is Mexican and good at Spanish. Diana only gets more and more disoriented during her time there. She wonders if there is more than what meets the eye about the place.

The defence of Madres :: The one advantage that this film has over the others is that it really has its creepy world going strong during all times. The environment here is really good, and very much notable. An ancient curse in the background seems through run through here, and adds to the creepy atmosphere really well. Even though there seems to be something supernatural around here, we soon come to know that it is not all, and we soon face the mystery being revealed. Some of us might be able to guess the final twist, but it also has its own small changes related to the same. It also leads to a few things which really happened, and it does remind of a few things which can happen if we are not aware. It leaves the message that with or without the presence of the supernatural, the world and its people are not what we feel they are, for people will always have their hidden agenda and a good dose of hatred inside. The music here is also very much suitable for the same.

The claws of flaw :: Just like the case of The Manor, this film also has the problem of being classified completely into the category of horror, as this one is also no fully something that focuses on the scares. It could have used the horror, as well as the grand atmosphere that it possesses with the house and the town with maximum effectiveness, for these days, many horror films are on a continuous struggle to be what it really should be. It is actually not restricted to one location with scope for here, as there is a lot more in here, for the town itself has something in store at different parts. A faster movie could have dealt with all of these with better strength, but this one hesitates to pick up the pace. The movie also released without much of a hype, and not many people know about its entry into Amazon Prime Video – the title also has people confused about the language. The movie came silently, and it is still there, but not many people know about the same.

Performers of the soul :: Ariana Guera plays the one character who seems to be fully English, and she is also the upcoming mother in trouble, here she is acting as the main protagonist, as well as the centre of attraction. She achieves the same really well, as we look at the scenes here. She is not that much of a believer in the supernatural, and we see her knowing things the hard way. Tenoch Huerta gets into his role really well too. The next important character is played by Elpidia Carrillo, and you will remember her from Predator, fighting the monster with her newly discovered American allies. She has blended into this role, even though one does feel that it should have been better written. The others are just part of the usual process, and they just blend in here too. Most of these characters become relevant at some later stage of the movie, and we are not to avoid them – there is the twist about this particular mystery that awaits us later.

How it finishes :: This one has some similarities with The Manor with how it progresses, how it deviates from its genre, and how it joins different things in a building as well as with an environment that catches our attention. Instead of the old age home and the strange surroundings, this one has one home and a lonely enough world around it. As far as the whole atmosphere is concerned, and related to the progress that happens in each minute, Madres has the advantage. This is also part of the Welcome to the Blumhouse film series, just like The Manor. I would suggest this movie to those who are interested in some slow, atmospheric horror, with a strong base on ancient legends and curses, and this is not your Annabelle, The Conjuring, Insidious, Don’t Breathe and Lights Out. You just need to live through this atmosphere rather than trying to be scared at all times, for there are different things of interest here.

Release date: 8th October 2021 (Amazon Prime Video)
Running time: 83 minutes
Directed by: Ryan Zaragoza
Starring: Elpidia Carrillo, Ariana Guera, Tenoch Huerta, Jennifer Patino, Kerry Cahill, Evelyn Gonzalez, Britton Webb

<— Click here to go to the previous big hype movie released on Amazon.

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Pirates of the Caribbean 5

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Vampire Owl: I have some problems with these dead men.

Vampire Bat: I am pretty sure that you don’t even know them.

Vampire Owl: Maybe, but I don’t understand why they come to the conclusion that dead men tell no tales.

Vampire Bat: It is quite a common saying in the human world, as I have heard.

Vampire Owl: But we are dead, and we tell stories.

Vampire Bat: We are the undead. It is a different case. Even in the movie, the undead exist.

Vampire Owl: I am sure that they can tell a few tales too.

Vampire Bat: Do you prefer the subtitle to be Salazar’s Revenge?

Vampire Owl: Revenge is so common, so dull. It is not that sweet as it used to be. I would prefer to wait and achieve greatness, which would be my revenge, which is not really the direct revenge.

Vampire Bat: Let them keep the dead men and their tales then.

[Gets the tickets with cardamom tea and french fries].

What is the movie about? :: Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites), the son of Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) works on a warship belonging to the Royal British Navy which has been after the pirates who have been plaguing the ocean around the Americas. It is an eventful journey, with pirates being around now and then. During one of such journeys, when they are chasing a pirate ship, they go right into the Devil’s Triangle, known more to the modern world as the Bermuda Triangle. Henry tries to prevent the same, but rising against the captain’s order makes his talks and action something resembling mutiny, and he is imprisoned in a cage. But it is not the pirate ship that they found inside, but something resembling a wrecked ship, and the undead in the form of sailors led by a man known as Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem) attacks them, and kills everyone except Henry who is asked to deliver a message to Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), about death coming after him.

So, what happens next? :: Meanwhile, Jack is trying to rob a newly opened bank with his pirate gang, but in the end, they lose all the money, and he is left behind in the process. Henry who survives the attack of the undead pirates after being left behind by Salazar, is captured by the British, and branding him as a coward and a traitor, they plan to execute him. It is during that time that he comes across a young woman named Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario) who was sentenced to death for witchcraft, but had escaped at the same time when Jack was going through his robbery. She is also captured while trying to contact Henry, but he escapes when the attention is on her. The curious Carina also intends to go to find the Trident of Poseidon which Henry has been looking for, as it is supposed to have the power to free his father from the curse. Jack, who is left with nothing in the sea, also gets caught after drinking too much. The British decides to execute the witch and the pirate at the same location, at the same time, by hanging and by the guillotine.

And, what is to follow next in the seas? :: With the help of Jack’s former crew, Henry manages to help both Jack and Carina escape, and they get back to the sea in search of the trident on Jack’s small ship, Dying Gull. Carina has the map that would lead them to the same, which only she can read with her skills. With Salazar and his undead crew managing to escape from their dark captivity, and the undead captain assigning the grand pirate Captain Hector Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) with the duty of finding Jack after some threatening, Jack and his new friends have more than one trident to look out for. Salazar’s main objective is to kill Jack, but he wouldn’t hesitate to kill or destroy anyone or anything that he finds on his way, and with the Royal Navy as well as Barbossa being no match to him and his army of undead, how would Jack, Carina and Henry manage to escape from the clutches of the evil which is ready to be unleashed all around the waters?

The defence of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales :: There is entertainment in store in Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, that is for sure, and we have the same with the support of some nice visuals, and the 3D is pretty much okay. The undead sailors and sharks are all nice, and the locations contribute to the same so well. The comic side is at its best with the scenes of execution of two protagonists, a big bank robbery scene and the jokes regarding the job description of the heroine – other than that, there are a few working here and there, fine enough to keep the ship floating. Johnny Depp still has a lot of the sparrow in him with nothing much changing about the character we have loved for so long, and Kaya Scodelario is a lot welcome addition to the same, coming right out of The Maze Runner and its sequel, The Scorch Trials. Javier Bardem and Brenton Thwaites also becomes fine additions to this adventure, and they all contribute to making this movie good, even though it is still the least interesting movie among all the five flicks that make this franchise.

The claws of flaw :: The fans of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise might have surely expected something bigger with Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, and it would leave them thinking why this one hasn’t evolved even after such a long gap with no pirates in the seas. There could have been more magnificence with the horror here, and something even bigger to end the movie with. The forced cameos bring no surprise and it can be said all the time. We wanted more of everything considering how long it took to come up with this sequel. Here is even Jack Sparrow not becoming the one whom we had waited for so long – the comic side is good, but we end up thinking if the character itself was needed, or some other pirate could have been enough. A stronger tale could have also helped, because this one seems to be a story written just to bring this movie to light, and get more money at the box-office in the name of the brand – the effect of having the pirates is coming down, and the makers have to be careful, for this is not even an animated movie like the Ice Age movie series.

How it finishes :: Even with some fun in store, one has to think that Disney is using the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise too much in the same way, trying to make more and more money out of the same. It has been fourteen long years since Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl released, and it has been six years since the last movie of the franchise, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides released – there are two sides to the same, for most people should have forgotten how things have been going on in this movie, and there is also a lot of people who have wished to see something or anything related to the pirates on the big screen. If more of the same thing is needed to be repeated, this is the movie that you should go for, as nothing new or special makes its way into this movie. You can watch this one to have more of pirates, but you can’t expect it to bring anything new – for experimentation seems to have left this franchise with ease, and being more creative is no longer the visible option for the makers.

Release date: 26th May 2017
Running time: 128 minutes
Directed by: Joachim Ronning, Espen Sandberg
Starring: Johnny Depp, Kaya Scodelario, Javier Bardem, Brenton Thwaites, Kevin McNally, Geoffrey Rush, Martin Klebba, Orlando Bloom (cameo), Keira Knightley (cameo)

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

The Woman in Black

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✠ A 1983 horror novel by Susan Hill was made into a movie of the same name, last year. But most of the people here haven’t been aware of the same, even as it had mostly positive reviews. That surprises me indeed, as it would have gained a lot if popularized here, thanks to the Harry Potter fans who might have been missing a leading man. There has been a 1989 movie, but we are going to stick to this 2012 version which has our Harry Potter, Daniel Radcliffe. I didn’t know that he was in it, and that was a pleasant surprise for me. There is no relation with the Men in Black franchise nor the aliens, and no neuralyzer was used in making me say so – you can check the usage records of the device for that. Instead, Woman in Black is a different supernatural story in a different setting, and it is a supernatural movie train which doesn’t run in our modern railroads, and therefore there is a chance that some horror fans might feel some displeasure. Still, my complaint is that there is the absence of something new in horror.

Count Dracula: Woman in Black? If you were looking for a Count in Black, I knew someone who could help you. The clue is that he has nice fangs which he brushes well without fail and lives in an awesome castle. Wait, do you need to talk to Brides in White? I know three, and I am pretty sure that you will love them.

Vampire Bat: And I thought he would confuse it with Men in Black. Do you understand anything I am saying? I am talking about the story of a woman who wears a black dress and if someone sees her, children die. Ever heard about it or something similar, world’s first official vampire Count?

Count Dracula: Are you talking about the lady who comes to clean the castle. I always knew there was something strange about her, and she wears black. My children of the night will be killed? Should I kill her first? Or is she too supernatural for me to get enough from her for my blood shake?

Vampire Bat: Not the cleaning lady. Your vision remains as clouded as the sky. No, not your children of the night. They can howl as much as they want, and you can look at the roof and have that weird expression which zombies have when they see humans with brains. Stop looking at the spider webs while talking. What is wrong with you?

Count Dracula: I am having dreadful visions. I see dead goblins and living halflings. Is The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug due to be released soon? Never mind, please continue. I am as interested in that lady in black as I am inspired by that rotten zombie girl in the corner of that graveyard. I have heard about that novel too, not as good as the one written by Bram Stoker, and no good character as me…I mean that Count.

Vampire Bat: Well, a widowed lawyer Arthur Kipps is on a mission to arrange the sale of a house. He has one son whom he leaves at his place with a nanny as he visits the small town where it is located and during his visit to the house, he sees a strange woman wearing black dress. A child dies and the people of the town blames him for seeing that lady.

Count Dracula: Nothing new to me. It happens every time. They blame me all the time just because some random person dies somewhere near my castle. See, I am just a farmer. We are a peaceful farming community with better teeth. What about my rights? I was framed by Bram Stoker. But I have to agree that I liked it.

Vampire Bat: I can’t believe I am hearing this. Just a few days ago, you were playing mist and fog outside the second house on the eighth street. And stop farming skulls – they don’t grow. Pouring blood on them doesn’t create reddish fountains either. I am going to record all these some day. It is not like your case. This is a lady who lost her kid and wishes to take revenge on all the kids of the town, as she makes them do things which lead to their deaths.

Count Dracula: See, she is a hypnotherapist like me. One of my various skills attained due to practice. Am I not the vampire in black? Why not such a title with me as the leading character? There is nothing about that woman, she doesn’t even exist.

Vampire Bat: But you have to think about the environment the movie creates. The local people, legends, strange figures, screaming – the things haven’t been this strange since the last time Jonathan Harker was held captive in your castle. Those were great times, right? Wait, is that a 55 inch 3D LED TV? Where did that come from?

Count Dracula: I didn’t buy it. It was available for free with human Halloween masks in the goblin market. Nobody wanted that stuff as the Witch of the West’s unlimited inches magic TV is the hot item right now, and it has the latest video game “Humans are Evil”. Sounds so awesome, doesn’t it?

Vampire Bat: You are ruining the horror environment with such items. This is why you can’t always blame Twilight for ruining your reputation. Vampires don’t keep 3D TV at home, thats what pseudo-vampires do. You just drink blood in 3D. This is why you need to watch this movie so that you can understand how well the ambiance works.

Count Dracula: You mean to say that the Harry Potter kid has grown up a lot more than his final movie of that franchise? I remember seeing the poster of this movie, and how does he do? I don’t know anyone else from that movie, what about them? The only lady in black that can be scary might be that person from Insidious Part one and two.

Vampire Bat: Yes, he is the centre of attraction, and he might be the reason why the movie has good collection. My first feeling was that he might be having that Harry Potter hangover, but no, there he is away from that franchise, and he is once again taken into a world which asks for willing suspension of disbelief, that fantasy which is rather more of horror rather than simple magic and a little more advanced sorcery. He has survived beyond that magical world which lasted many years, and without a magic wand he takes on both the Woman in Black as well as us skeptics, ending up victorious – yet there is still a lot more to do for him in whatever awaits him next. The world is dark and gloomy, and so is his character, taking us with him as he fits in there, not with perfection, but in the right manner.

Count Dracula: So he is no longer the wizard. I know that he will be killed by that Woman in Black – it is not a guess, as it is something which I can feel. So this is a horror movie, but my doubt is if it does really scare?

Vampire Bat: Yes, it does, and it chooses to use the atmosphere and items for scaring rather than anything else. There are lots of surprise scares coming up, but the problem remains that there is no real explanation for most of the things around. It can only mean one of the two things, either they think that our brains are eaten by zombies, or we have too much of an imagination to find out more. Well, it deals with a big curse, so the things are to be different. It is creepy indeed and full points to the house and its location, but it seems missing out somewhere. I would have also liked another ending, that is for sure.

Count Dracula: So it is scary indeed, and I am going to watch and like it after I get rid of this bloody tv. Its time for me to brush my fangs again. Good bye, and watch movies.

Vampire Bat (to himself): It was quite short a movie. Lasting about one and half hours, the movie could have had more, and it just ended soon when we wanted more of it. Coming from the director of Eden Lake, this is not as good as that movie, but works well with the resources that it has. Yet, this is nothing new for most of us, as we have been provided with similar things a lot. But we can appreciate how it works as another horror movie, and I am always looking for more and more horror.

✠ Its sequel The Woman in Black: Angels of Death is also coming sometime later. Therefore, it is more of a necessity to have watched this movie and be prepared to welcome the Woman in Black into our lives. Watch it for the first true performance from Daniel Radcliffe as a non-wizard civilian of this world and all the creepy things that the movie has to offer. All the atmosphere rather affects the narrative progress, but in a movie like this, it is the creation of that spooky world that we are looking for, but the occasional drag might bing up questions. If you are looking for anything extraordinary or out of the supernatural, you might have to look for another movie. A cup of innovation could have helped. If you don’t like our leading actor, then you can run away too, as there is a lot of Daniel Radcliffe in this one, and he is there more than that lady is black. He might look too young for the role, but when he does well despite the uninterested looks, there is not much there to complain. Darkness and shadows everywhere, not even Dracula can complain.

Release date: 10th February 2012
Running time: 95 minutes
Directed by: James Watkins
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Ciarán Hinds, Janet McTeer, Liz White, Roger Allam, Tim McMullan, Jessica Raine

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠The Vampire Bat.

Frozen

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Ice and Snow :: Here is something from Robert Frost: “Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice. From what I’ve tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate To say that for destruction ice Is also great And would suffice” – I would remember those lines from the poet very often. It is only my second favourite from him after “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening”. Lets leave the fire to any of the fire elementals and fire-breathing dragons as that would be another story. Let bring ice and snow; as the poet would love to watch the woods filling up with snow, and also talk about that destruction by ice, we were given those thoughts about snow and ice, not something people of this part of the world are too familiar with. Yes, the interest in snow was nicely built up to such an extent that I had winter wallpapers on my desktop for a very long time – that started when I was a kid, and we had the latter poem to study in the earlier classes, and the only thing which I liked slightly better was “Daffodils”.

What is Frozen? :: All that talk about ice and snow would take me back to the only one animated movie in the theatre right now. There is nothing repulsive about that feeling, as I am not talking about that 2010 movie when people get trapped in the snow and get eaten by wolves. Well, that was a good movie too, but that kind of atmosphere never comes to the picture this time. I have always felt something about snow, but I have never seen it with my eyes or felt it. I have felt the temperatures close enough to zero degree Celsius, but never snow. Then I decided to experience snow in 3D with a movie, and from the current situation, I am pretty sure that it is the closest to falling snow that I can get. To add to it, this one is also the next brilliant animated movie from Walt Disney after Tangled. Brave was not bad, it was of inferior standard compared to the other Disney movies. The rest didn’t interest me either. But, after a three year gap, Frozen has made me fall in love with Disney yet again. It came in 3D and with the AC in the theatre, it was a world of snow, and it was alive with all the emotions.

The Setting :: The movie is set in the kingdom of Arendelle, a world of magic. It is the story of two sisters, the princesses of the kingdom, Anna and Elsa, with the latter having the powers to manipulate and control the elements of frost. But as the latter’s powers accidently hits the former while playing in snow, her life is only saved by a group of trolls who erase the memory of Anna and warns Elsa of her powers becoming too powerful for her to control. As days pass, Elsa becomes more of a recluse, afraid of herself and unable to control her powers and thus transforming her room into a snow world and keeping away from Anna who doesn’t know what keeps them apart. The doors of the castle are kept closed so that nobody comes to know about the secret. Anna also keeps to herself and the world inside the castle. The king and the queen takes special care to the fact that the balance is not broken, and the world remains the same.

What is it about? :: The action takes place three years after the death of their parents. The children have grown up, and despite the reclusive nature of Elsa, she becomes the default heir to the kingdom and has to fight her inner demons of frost to take over the throne. The gates of the castle are finally opened and people come in. Anna takes this as an opportunity to fall in love, as there would be celebration and she can search for her true love. She meets Prince Hans of the Southern Isles and falls for him. Elsa somehow manages to keep her powers inside until Anna tells her that she wants to marry the prince whom she just met. Elsa refuses to grant her blessings for her sister to marry someone whom she doesn’t really know much about, and as a result, there an argument which leads to the powers of Elsa coming out in the form of ice, and even reaching that extent that the whole kingdom is covered in snow and even the ships get stuck in the ice as she flees to the top of the mountains in the forest. But Elsa is feels herself responsible and is determined to bring her back with the help of a mountain man, a reindeer and a snowman.

The defence of Frozen :: It is the best use of snow and ice in a movie after Rise of the Guardians, and the best animated movie since the release of that one in December 2012. Well, that one had an ordinary box-office performance, but that won’t be the case of Frozen, one can say that. The movie’s most adorable part is its snowman. The movie’s treatment of the story and characters are interesting, as there is no big villain out there, and the snow queen doesn’t go the evil way. There are lesser evil people for sure, but none extreme. The act of true love is no longer romantic, and that is the best part- there should be sacrifice. There is also the stupidity for frail romance and the vain “love at first sight” theory mocked. The songs are beautiful and its visual treat is even more stunning. Frozen makes Brave looks like a little creature who can only say “precious”. How did that creature win the Academy Award for Best Animated Film is still a mystery for me – it was so empty with a lead character who makes people wonder if their sons and daughters are better as reckless, shameless children who defy their parents who know what is better? Well, our heroine here knows the importance of family.

Plus and minus :: There might be too much music for the elder people, even as the humour can keep them attached to the movie. It is also very loosely based on Hans Christian Andersen’s The Snow Queen (similarities are to be created rather than found). The heroine reminds one of Rapunzel of Tangled, not used to going out of her world and being in love with a random person whom she meets on the way while pretending to be courageous and smart. Yes, there is that reindeer instead of the horse and our snowman is indeed better than that chameleon. You will love his ideas about summer, that is for sure. Its a little bit of doing the same thing under disguise, but the fact that it is enjoyable, and there are some good addition makes this fantastic. Elsa is more like X-Men‘s Rogue controlling her powers only with her gloves, and there are trolls who are more like dwarves – funny ones for sure. If Anna catches out attention, Elsa melts our heart! If you don’t like snow, then this movie will lose its awesomeness of 3D snowflakes and everything visual. Yes, it is better than Despicable Me 2, the overrated animated movie of the year which was also very good.

How it finishes :: Frozen comes up with so much goodness, and the message of sisterly love and affection, and it supports one’s right to be different (even as the variation in the character of the so called chivalrous prince was rather too much). Its assertion that love for beauty is so much flawed, and its call for the society to accept the people with differences and also asserts one’s right to choose to be alone. It is only family that can deny the same. It is a true musical fairy tale in the form of an animated movie. Even as there could have been more in store concerning the cold and darkness (as said by Boogeyman in Rise of the Guardians), and there could have been more concerning the frost powers. But for now, we can be satisfied with the power of true love and all that ends well, and as they all live happily ever after – not that much of a spoiler there, as you all know how these movies are to end; even our snowman gets his own snow cloud to follow him during summer. It is our movie of this weekend – The Hunger Games releases here next week!

Release date: 29h November 2013 (India); 27th November 2013 (US)
Running time: 108 minutes
Directed by: Chris Buck, Jennifer Lee
Starring (voice): Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Jonathan Groff, Josh Gad, Alan Tudyk, Santino Fontana, Ciarán Hinds, Chris Williams, Jack Whitehall

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠The Vampire Bat.

Dark Shadows

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✠ The rating given to this movie might shock a few mortals, but as this blog written from the Vampire Bat’s perspective, he has decided to take control to fulfill his partially broken promise to that Count who lived as a recluse inside a coffin in a castle. Yes, the Vampire Bat doesn’t broke promises, or rather doesn’t break anything other than may be, his own teeth – blame the root canal offers from local dentists in that case. To add to it, the Vampire Bat shall write this review on a Wednesday, as he was born on such a day. He is mentally depressed after writing a test, and after asserting what he had found out that each and every other person of his world wants the questions from the syllabus while he wants the same from outside. May be he never belonged to the world of humans, and should rather fly away one day. But the depressing side is that he can’t fly – so he will write a bloody review about one of his favourite vampire movies, and undoubtedly his favourite blood sucking movie of 2012. Yes, this is that movie.

Count Dracula: Here you are again. I think that your review of Dark Shadows has been pending for long. Do you have it with you? Its time Barnabas Collins gets his due. He is one of those few vampires who could see McDonalds and feel the presence of Mephistopheles. He is our saviour against Twilight and Mortal Instruments creatures of pseudo-darkness.

Vampire Bat: I can see that you feel the need for some good vampires like Barnabas Collins and Victoria Winters. I love that scene when he sees M for McDonalds: Over 1 billion served. He was accidently quite right about the fast food and the beverages being the demons who suck the soul out of our insides, leaving us nothing of much use. Twilight and Mortal Instruments are the result of the same fast food, as they mess up our brain rather than the stomach.

Count Dracula: So what do you think about this vampire and his family? I did feel the presence of other wonderful forces of the supernatural right from outside the theatre where it was showing – I was wandering around in the mist until I crashed on the wall of that place, it was not good for my fangs, but still felt good for the presence.

Vampire Bat: Barnabas returns 196 years later, after feeling the wrath of unrequited love from a witch, Angelique Bouchard who cursed him into a bloodsucker, killed his parents and also forced his true love to commit suicide. She is a witch who curses his family and gets him buried alive in the middle of a forest, takes over his family business and puts his descendents into ruin. The worst thing is that the witch is still alive, using her magic to identify herself as her own descendants. This love has always been so overrated, right?

Count Dracula: Yes, even with me it is the same. I already feel a lot of love for Angelique Bouchard. Eva Green is that good, and I still can’t forget The Dreamers. I can remember my first infatuation with a witch already. Why would he not return the love baffles me. Whom does he have instead?

Vampire Bat: There is Bella Heathcote taking rebirth, from Josette du Pres to Victoria Winters. She appears as if an enchanting fairy vampire, not as some random Bella. But the two characters you will surely love are Michelle Pfeiffer’s Elizabeth Collins Stoddard and Chloë Grace Moretz’s Carolyn who asks “are you stoned or something” to which the recently risen Barnabas says “they tried stoning me dear, it did not work”. To add to it, he calls a lava lamp “pulsating blood urn”, and the crane as “a giant dragon with millions of teeth and a thousand shining eyes” – you have to love him. His seriousness is awesome!

Count Dracula: I have felt that myself, rising from the grave and seeing the world different. I know you feel the change each and every day. The world is indeed to fast, and I am sure that most of us hope that each and every day we go to sleep, we never wake up again. I wish for the sunlight to disappear, and you hope for the day to end, and there is not much different in how we see the world, and we are as outdated as Barnabas Collins; it is just that we have no lover witch.

Vampire Bat: Yes, I have always thought that, and Dark Shadows makes sure about the same. Moretz is wonderful in the movie, and the way she says “I’m a werewolf, okay? Don’t make such a big deal over it” to her mother, and always special mention needs to be for Michelle Pfeiffer and Helena Bonham Carter. Meanwhile, if you don’t like Bella Heathcote in this movie, you have to be blind – not that closing of eyes you do with sunlight, but the real blindness of the physical world.

Count Dracula: You make the point there. I have read about the many faces of Johnny Depp too, and I shall not doubt him at any moment. This face is my favourite indeed, and then comes that Jack Sparrow followed by the crow-carrying head in The Lone Ranger. Then comes Sweeney Todd and The Hatter – who won’t love Alice in Wonderland by the way, and they were two special characters. I am not going to count the faces of such a versatile actor, as that won’t even please my coffin. Instead tell me more about Eva Green.

Vampire Bat: Her character has angel in her name and some strange love which keeps her in the attitude that “If I can’t have you, my love, I’ll destroy you!” – not that much of hatred as she keeps him alive; should be too much admiration. She tries everything she can, but true love finally wins – not really a surprise, isn’t it? Eva Green is fantastic in the movie, as she is beautiful, charming and perfect as the pretty witch. The cast itself is the real strength of the movie. With such awesome names involved with it, who would not wish to watch this movie? The comedy is also well done.

Count Dracula: That sounds like interesting stuff. A vampire movie with all of these? That should cure me from the death strike which fell on me with Twilight and Mortal Instruments. I shall have a new life of blood. You should have reviewed this one much earlier – remember how long ago I had told you to do the same?

Vampire Bat: Despite the good box-office returns, the ratings haven’t been good with it. I would think that it is the result of an anti-vampire sentiment and possible cruelty which has been unleashed on vampire movies due to terror which was Twilight and all the sequels that followed tried desperately to destroy man’s faith in vampires. No wonder Byzantium didn’t release at this part of the world. There is only one chance for us to reclaim that lost faith, or rather two – release a movie from Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles, or create the much needed sequel to this movie which has left a good chance for another story by the end of it.

Count Dracula: It is much needed, that is for sure! These undead creatures are bothering me too much just because they had to watch Twilight. Even the wolves no longer listen to me – they think I am going to wear their skin as clothing and call myself a werewolf. See how these movies are badly affecting my children of the night. We need that, or I might have to turn my whole castle into a one big coffin.

Vampire Bat: There is less hope for both of them. The problem about having a Vampire Chronicles movie is that nothing can live up-to the awesomeness of Interview with the Vampire. The scope of a Dark Shadows sequel is less, due to the lack of need and the not that positive critical reception. One day, we will take over as official undead reviewers with bad teeth, and then we can change the whole thing.

Count Dracula: Then we shall stick with this Barnabas as the vampire hero of this century so far. The last century’s control was disputed, but for this one, it has become pretty clear, the only challenge being from Selene and the next closest was indeed Rayne, but they were rather the heroines who enchanted us. I shall pray for the rise of more vampire in movies and literature which are as good as Barnabas.

Vampire Bat: Yes, it is worth your time for sure, especially as you have not much to do, and all the souls are going to love it. Now, it is the time to go home and have that cup of tea, and therefore until we collide on a hunt again, good bye, Count.

Count Dracula: Good bye, best of my winged brethren; for now. May the shadows be with you, especially the dark shadows if you got what I meant.

Vampire Bat (to himself): I am fully in support of this movie mostly due to the great performance of Johnny Depp in his new avatar, and then due to the good work put into it by Eva Green with great support from the rest, especially Bella Heathcote, Chloë Grace Moretz, Michelle Pfeiffer and Helena Bonham Carter. Here, we have that true vampire comedy movie which adds almost every ingredient correctly, thus making this a great choice, and the reason why you need to go back in time and check the theatres.

✠ I don’t know about that television show or soap opera on which this movie is based, and that might not be necessary, but if you love vampire flicks and bloodsuckers in literature, you will like Dark Shadows which keep the worlds of Twilight and Mortal Instruments away. Even if you don’t care much about the same, the comic side of the movie will keep you interested. Still, there is so much seriousness underneath striving for true love, which makes this a wonderfully layered movie. I am pretty sure that whatever you like and wherever you are from, most of you will at least like this one as an average movie, and there are not many places where you can have this much vampire fun along with looking at such a great cast. Behold the beauty of the shadows of this movie, and you might end up loving it along with Bella Heathcote. This one won’t even make Count Dracula think twice, and in that case, long live Barnabas Collins, who has survived a witch’s love and watched his own dark shadows in a coffin for such a long time.

Release date: 11th May 2012
Running time: 113 minutes
Directed by: Tim Burton
Starring: Johnny Depp, Bella Heathcote, Eva Green, Chloë Grace Moretz, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Jackie Earle Haley, Jonny Lee Miller

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠The Vampire Bat.