Hindi Medium

What is the movie about? :: Raj Batra (Irrfan Khan) runs a highly successful business in Delhi, selling bridal wears, and he often likes to call himself a business tycoon. He had married his love from childhood Meeta Batra (Saba Qamar) when she had come to his small tailoring shop. Although he is rich and influential, knowing all politicians and businessmen of the area, he is a simple man, finding happiness in those simple things in life. His lack of education and the absence of knowledge in English are something which makes his wife disappointed, and she wishes to be part of the high class rather than live where they have always lived. Worried about the future of their only daughter Pia Batra (Dishita Sehgal), she wishes to have her admitted into one of the top schools in Delhi, including Prakriti School where the students are taught everything through dance and music, Suraj Valley School which nothing less than a five star hotel and Cross Road School which has a tie-up with Eton.

So, what happens next in this movie? :: But the biggest of them all is the Delhi Grammar School which has been at the top position in the school rankings for a long time. The famous politicians and business tycoons have all studied there, and everyone is sure that under the guidance of the visionary principal (Amrita Singh) who used to be a student there, the school can go only up from its position. But the school only gives admission forms to those who live nearby, within three kilometres radius. She forces him to make sure that they move out of Chandni Chowk to Vasant Vihar as the first part of trying to get admission. She is adamant that Pia will not study in a Hindi medium government school like they did, and she will speak English like no other. At their new place, they have new neighbours, but struggle to make friends with people like Aarti (Neha Dhupia) who find the new people to be of low class, not fit to be part of their high level society.

And what is to follow in this adventure for school admissions? :: To prepare their daughter as well as themselves from the upcoming interviews in the top schools, the meet up and take the advice of a consultant (Tillotama Shome) who has been training rich people and their children for a big price. But despite all these training, they are not that great at the interview, and the kid doesn’t get admission. There is the feeling that uneducated parents’ children will find it difficult to get an admission. This leads to him trying to get a seat in a top school in many other ways, including trying to bribe the principal and asking many politicians for help. But none of those ideas work, and they still keep trying, only to find that one of their employees’ child got admission in Prakriti School under Right to Education quota reserved for the people with lower income. There they find a way to get the much needed seat – make some changes in the necessary documents to find their chance. Can they succeed here in one way or the other?

The defence of Hindi Medium :: The movie’s comparison should be to Ramdhanu which is known to deal with a similar theme, and Salt Mango Tree which has remade the same movie. In comparison to Salt Mango Tree which is close to an exact adaptation, there are more differences than similarities here. Hindi Medium actually rises above the other, with a smarter adaptation of the idea. It has a girl child instead of the boy child, and has a rich family rather than the middle class one. There is also a better ending, and there is no foreigner coming to India and adapting the customs – it is a ridiculous idea in comparison to the overall theme, just like it was in Bangalore Days, for them adapting the Indian culture as the right way would only make Indians wishing to adapt theirs righteous. Hindi Medium rises above such foolishness along with the lame jokes there, and also shows the consultant in the right colour. With this one, Bollywood shows the skill and rises above the rest, and the medium is right here; feel-good it is.

The claws of flaw :: One might feel that Hindi Medium takes the simple things a little bit further than one would have thought. Some moments are surely overdone, or rather stretched further than needed. The jokes are also less in comparison even though the quality is certainly there. We can also see the glorification of poverty, even though it is a fact that being more and more rich only gets things to be worse – people getting rich just goes away from the common man’s world as well as the values which have been there for so long. There is also the focus on Hindi medium itself right from the title, when having the government school itself was enough. It would feel strange that all these are coming at a time when the government has been trying to impose Hindi in one way or the other, all over the states which have come up against the same. In an attempt to get away from English, one has to wonder if the need will soon be to escape from Hindi itself with a suicide squad.

Performers of the soul :: The one person who stands out in this movie in comparison with Salt Mango Tree is Irrfan Khan who shows a lot of balance in the way the comic side as well as the serious moments are carried on his his shoulders in the right manner. Saba Qamar also blends in, and does a wonderful job as the mother who wishes for more with the education of her child – Angels‘ own Lakshmi Priyaa Chandramouli’s work was more natural and emotional in Salt Mango Tree though. Deepak Dobriyal is too good in his role, and Swati Das is fine support to him. Tillotama Shome as the consultant might be the best among the smaller roles here – she is really good. Neha Dhupia is left with not much to do, with her role resembling a cameo. When you look at the cast of Salt Mango Tree, you will notice that in totality, there is more of known talent there, working towards making things better.

How it finishes :: My first thought about Hindi Medium was that it was going to be exactly Salt Mango Tree which seems to be more like the carbon copy of the 2014 Bengali family drama, Ramdhanu. But that certainly wasn’t the case, with the movie having its own ideas, and it is also better than the movie which came before that, and it does the same by quite a distance. The movies like Hindi Medium are required during these times when education has become a business – I would prefer to teach students values first, and English and Hindi later, but that wouldn’t really be possible in this world, I guess. There will also be people who will wish to steal the opportunity of others, and we will also see those people who think that speaking good English everything – but I wouldn’t consider that to be great. With communication, just understanding the point is necessary, and Hindi Medium surely has more valid points than your regular Bollywood movie. It also seems free from the terrible fans.

Release date: 19th May 2017
Running time: 132 minutes
Directed by: Saket Chaudhary
Starring: Irrfan Khan, Saba Qamar, Sanjana Sanghi, Tillotama Shome, Deepak Dobriyal, Delzad Hiwale, Sumit Gulati, Swati Das, Dishita Sehgal, Angshuman Nandi, Jaspal Sharma, Vijay Kumar Dogra, Rohit Tannan, Amrita Singh, Neha Dhupia, Sushil Parwana, Rajesh Sharma, Sanjay Suri, Mallika Dua, Tanishkaa Sanghvi

]

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Qarib Qarib Singlle

What is the movie about? :: Jaya Sashidharan (Parvathy), a Keralite based in the city of Mumbai, spends her time alone, both at home and at office, as she has only a few friends, and has been a widow for about ten years. After so many years of lone life, and not listening to anyone who tells her to marry or get a boyfriend, she finally decides to have a look at an online dating website at the age of thirty five. After being bombarded by so many ridiculous comments by so many men, she finally comes across Yogi (Irrfan Khan) who is interested in poetry and has his own special style, making his case very different from the rest. She is careful about him and understands that both of them are different from each other in so many ways, but decides to go with him to meet three of his ex-girlfriends so that he could understand more about him as a person.

And what is to follow in this particular adventure? :: As part of this long adventure, the two has to travel through Haridwar, Bikaner and Gangtok. But there is one particular fact about Yogi, and it is that he is a carefree person who takes no responsibility on his shoulders – he doesn’t work even after passing engineering, but has written poetry in his mother tongue, and also speaks not much of English. This leads to him missing his flight and getting on the wrong train, and creating a few other situations. Meanwhile, Jaya who has identified herself as Jayashree TK, is fluent in English, and needs everything to go as planned. At their first location itself, they do become good friends, but going past that might be a little difficult, but who knows where some paths can lead? Well, strange things do happen, especially in love and war!

The defence of Qarib Qarib Singlle :: You will find the changes in this movie as a lot refreshing, and a fine thing which is away from the usual Bollywood model. The movie feels real with its incidents and emotions, and never really jumps into that fountain of melodrama which has kept the industry buried alive in a coffin from which there was never supposed to a chance of return, and it is a situation that could be termed as a sadistic thing of terrible beauty if we take a look at things as an outsider. Yes, the fans have always enjoyed the same, as it is what they have always been trying to do, but when we are outside that thought process of becoming addicted to a celebrity who has enough strength to become a parasite on the common man, throwing nonsense and grabbing money, we want the change. Qarib Qarib Singlle is surely that divergence from the regular path, and has fun moments in its realistic world having people who come up with no wonders in love, and are good at heart, not in their muscles, clothes or freaky singing and dancing in a party or pub.

The claws of flaw :: Some people can consider Qarib Qarib Singlle to be a little slow for their liking, but thanks to the smaller length, things get better. People who want less simplicity, and go for that colourful jump mode new generation romance in a pub calling for party, can also skip this one, as the movie calls more for the combined audience of family and youth. You can actually agree to the fact that there could be more comic sequences in this flick, and the journeys to different places could have also been more beautiful with the local scenery captured further along with what all are already there. All those characters other than the two protagonists never really get to do much here, and there is no development of the background as one would expect to be there. The reason for the movie’s journey would also seem a little strange for many. More could have been thus developed with the setting itself too.

Performers of the soul :: There is no stopping Irrfan Khan, and it is a proven fact. It was a few months back that I had come across Hindi Medium, and realized that how much this man had elevated it above the Malayalam version with the same theme, Salt Mango Tree. There is something that he brings on the big screen every time, and we cannot keep ourselves away from it. While Bollywood has been bringing nonsense in the name of keeping the audience entertained with masala, he was there with movies like The Lunchbox, Talvaar and Madaari. Here, he delivers two sides of a character with ease, as the funny side as well as another side with a certain depth in his ideology, arrives safely here. With no fake image of a hero being built, he becomes the everyman character, speaking a little too much, and doing a little more than a usual person, but doing all of them with such perfection which you will find difficult to find with any superstar who depends on his or her fans to sing blind praise.

Further performers of the soul :: While Irrfan Khan’s character maintains a certain amount of mystery as we come across him only after Parvathy’s character decides to go on to meet him, the latter gets a clear personality to work with, right from the beginning. She has worked with it with such skill that one can easily understand that she is one step ahead of almost everyone with that “superstar” title on head, which all try to hold on to. Still, the question remains if Bollywood is worthy enough or at least ready to have a heroine like her, who won’t jump into that masala stuff which provides a heroine with so less to work with that she is reduced to an eye candy. Into a world which is full of “actors or actresses who are related to someone in the industry”, she thrives with her performance rather than anything else, as she did this year with the amazing upgrade to Airlift, known as Take Off, and earlier with Charlie and Ennu Ninte Moideen. Here is one Bollywood debut of quality.

How it finishes :: A long way ahead of the usual romantic flick that Bollywood has been providing us, and also racing ahead of many overrated dumb romance from many languages which got only some ridiculous party songs, pub dance and meaningless infatuation for the audience, Qarib Qarib Singlle makes a point. It shows exactly how a fine romantic feel-good movie can be made, without those unnecessary elements appreciated by a certain group of half-witted audience who should be held responsible for Bollywood having so many low quality hundred crore movies with content not worthy of even being made a short-film – such cases are better suited only for an alien world which has no scope for brain development. If you prefer movies with aversion for clothes being at the same high level as the disinclination for making something sensible, do not bother, and go back to your usual world and continue watching what you call “cool”. Sometimes, the audience becomes the villain to an industry.

Release date: 11th November 2017
Running time: 125 minutes
Directed by: Tanuja Chandra
Starring: Irrfan Khan, Parvathy, Bajrangbali Singh, Anud Singh Dhaka, Neha Dhupia, Brijendra Kala, Luke Kenny, Siddharth Menon, Pushtii Shakti, Isha Sharvani

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Noor

Vampire Owl: The only Noor I know is from the 1997 Malayalam movie, Chandralekha.

Vampire Bat: That character was Nooruddin.

Vampire Owl: Yes, but saying the name will be like asking for a hundred rupees.

Vampire Bat: It doesn’t matter. If you get one hundred rupees, keep it.

Vampire Owl: But what would I do with human money in our realm?

Vampire Bat: Well, you can start a coin museum. We already have different kinds of museums and one more will do nicely.

Vampire Owl: That is surely not a bad idea. My zombie minions can always do with some extra business when not trying to take over the world.

Vampire Bat: Isn’t it yet proven that they can’t take over the world at all?

Vampire Owl: No, because I have taught them to be positive in their life, or rather in their undead existence.

Vampire Bat: Now I know what is going wrong with a few brainless zombies.

[Gets three cups of strong tea with Mariegold biscuits].

What is the movie about? :: Noor Roy Chaudhary (Sonakshi Sinha) is a girl in her late twenties, worried about so many things, and her weight being more than her Twitter followers is just one of them. She feels that she is the step-daughter of her father, and the cat Dimpy is the real child, as he cares a lot for the cat. She feels that there is nothing good going on in her life, as she spends most of her time in the traffic, and can’t afford anything much, with her salary being lesser than what she has been spending in the last few months – the potholes meant that she had to keep changing the tyres of her Tata Nano, and she also ends up quitting smoking to cut the costs. Her job as a journalist has her disappointed all the time, as she thinks that she is more of a joker than a journalist. She keeps sending her resume to CNN and BBC so that she could escape from the meaningless journalism which she is doing.

So, what happens next? :: Shekhar Das (Manish Chaudhary), her boss used to be a journalist whom everyone admired – all young journalists wanted to be like him. After his marriage to Lavina Kapadia (Suchitra Pillai), he had received his father-in-law’s news agency, and had settled in as the boss, and had no more courageous journalist action. It is there, at The Buzz that Noor also worked as the junior correspondent. She runs a show called Mumbai Believe it or Not which she finds to be pointless. She gets to talk to different people in the city, like someone who walks upside down and another one who never removes her helmet – she wants to do something like the problems local fishermen are facing due to a new coastal road and the problem with sewers. Also, she is worried about her weight, and doesn’t believe that any good and decent guy will fall in love with her, considering that hiring a hitman to kill someone is rather easier.

And what is to follow with this adventure? :: Her best friend in the city is Zaara Patel (Shibani Dandekar) who doesn’t listen to anyone else, and has been trying to motivate her since school days. Saad Sehgal (Kanan Gill), her other friend is now at London, and these childhood friends are all that she got. Her favourite sentence is “I hate my life”, and the maid at the place Malti (Smita Tambe) is the only other person whom she regularly talks, other than her friend and her father (MK Raina). It is then that she comes across Ayananka Banerjee (Purab Kohli) who has been a CNN reporter working in the Middle East during the wars, and the two gets close. It is then that she gets an idea about something more – an exclusive news which could turn things around for her. But will that happen, or will she remains the same and keep blaming herself for not doing it right?

The defence of Noor :: The movie goes on a realistic path, and there is nothing that goes beyond the lines drawn regarding the same. We feel the protagonist’s problems, no matter how silly they will sound, and they are possible in the case of so many people. The first half is really good, with some humour, and there are also those moments which are there to stay. The credit for the same goes to Sonakshi Sinha who makes this character work so well. Her dialogues, expressions, and the incidents in life make things go on smoothly, and we keep enjoying the light and sweet moments around. There is everything going right with this character with those scenes. If you don’t read too many reviews which keep saying that this isn’t right, and that should have been like something else, you will know that this movie is close to life as it can get – most of the blame put on this movie seems to be more due to some prejudice rather than anything else, even though the movie does have its problems. Still, there are messages, and the feel-good factor.

The claws of flaw :: Noor could have been big, and there is no doubt about that. There was scope for almost everything that could have stayed, from big thrilling moments to those big funny scenes, all contributing very well to the movie in totality. There are also those silly scenes which get rather too much of an attention. There are also those final moments, which seem to have finished the movie without trying that much – maybe there was a rush without that much of a thinking. Things get rather too comforable there, and we are left to witness the curse of the second half, which has attacked Bollywood so much, and is without any plans to stop at any time. One has to wonder why it gets a step down from the moment the first half stops. When there seems to be the chance to get deep into the bad practices in the medical field, the movie just takes one step back, and then when getting close to the bad guy, there is another step taken back – strange things happen in the second half. Then there is too much of party.

How it finishes :: One thing that Noor makes one feel is like that of the Malayalam movie Mili. There is a lot in common between the two despite having entirely different personalities. Also, in certain reviews, there have been people judging the character, without thinking about the fact that it is the role, and this is a person who has her own problems – some people are even against her thoughts, and it is not like they say that it is badly done, but coming up with the idea that it is wrong. It is a strange judgment of people when you see it. We surely have some strange people who come with their own strange ways of hating a movie. This flick is based on the novel Karachi, You’re Killing Me! by the Pakistani journalist and writer Saba Imtiaz, which was also her debut novel. She has also developed the script for this movie, and any comparison can only be done by someone who has gone through both the movie and the novel.

Release date: 21st April 2017
Running time: 116 minutes
Directed by: Sunhil Sippy
Starring: Sonakshi Sinha, Shibani Dandekar, Smita Tambe, Kanan Gill, Purab Kohli, Manish Chaudhary, Suchitra Pillai, MK Raina, Gareth Lawrence, Nikhil Khurana, Indraneel Bhattacharya, Sippora Zoutewelle, Ajita Khanna, Yulian Shchukin, Avantika Akerkar, Sunny Leone (cameo), Diljit Dosanjh (cameo), Badshah (cameo)

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Udta Punjab

Vampire Owl: I know a few humans who thought that they would never get to watch this movie.

Vampire Bat: There are humans who think that they will never get to see a vampire, but here we are, able to appear whenever we wish to.

Vampire Owl: I heard that they had a problem with censor board.

Vampire Bat: We should be thankful that the movies about the great deeds of Uncle Dracula are not given to them for certification.

Vampire Owl: You mean to say that the great imperial vampire video was uncensored?

Vampire Bat: Yes, you easily get that from the violence.

Vampire Owl: You mean to say that it is violence – what you see in the video feels rather natural than anything else.

Vampire Bat: It is more natural to humans than us, but they censor it, you know.

Vampire Owl: They are so afraid of the inherent evil in them.

Vampire Bat: Yes, and they blame everyone other than them for the same.

[Gets three cups of English tea with special snacks].

What is the movie about? :: The movie tells the tale of four people people in the state of Punjab, a Punjabi musician named Tejinder Singh (Shahid Kapoor), an unnamed Bihari migrant working at a farm known only by the name Bauria (Alia Bhatt), an inspector in the Punjab police department named Sartaj Singh (Diljit Dosanjh), and a doctor who is also a social activist named Preet Sahni (Kareena Kapoor), whose lives get connected to each other due to the smuggling of drugs into the state. Sartaj’s brother Balli Singh (Prabhjyot Singh) is one of those drug addicts who ends up in the hospital, and it turns out that the police officer had almost no idea about his brother using drugs. He is treated by Preet who hopes to bring him back to normal life, through her rehabilitation cenre. At the same time, she tells Sartaj that the drug menace has become too much and the police department is not taking action about the same.

So, what happens next? :: As Sartaj decides to get deep into the drug problem, Tejinder, who is known by the name Tommy Singh, and as Gabru among his fans, is leading a rather clueless life outside the world of music. Throwing parties all the time, and keeping on consuming cocaine, he has no control over his life. His fans are not that different either, as they follow his example, having no responsibility, and trying to be like him. As Tommy takes this troubled path, he ends up in jail, and there he meets his fans inspired by him ending up in prison just like him. Sartaj is also the one to arrest Tommy, and is influenced by Preet to do something against the drug problem which threatens to turn the state into a situation similar to Mexico. He decides that it is time that he does something about this problem against which nobody even dares to talk or take action.

And, what is to follow next in the adventure? :: As this girl known by the name Bauria wanders around in the farm where she is working, she ends up finding a packet. She understands that it is some kind of drug, as her landlord uses agriculture to hide his dealing with drugs. The girl, who had her dreams of playing national level hockey for the nation shattered, decides to sell this, and get some money. But she doesn’t know trouble she is getting herself into, as she is captured by a gang of drug dealers who sexually abuse her, and keep her locked in their farmhouse. It is then that a reformed Tommy decides to take responsibility to change the world, and Sartaj as well as Preet gets further in gathering information about the drug problem and the people behind the same. But with so many powerful people including police and politicians having their hands in the same, can anyone bring a change?

The defence of Udta Punjab :: There is sincerity about this movie, and we are put face to face against an evil which needs to be stopped as soon as possible. The best thing about the movie is that it never glorifies drug abuse – there was the movie Spirit against alcohol, which began with the glorification of the same only to end up with a message against the same as it strived towards the finish. But Udta Punjab begins and ends with the same idea shown on the screen, and chooses the right path. At the same time, we once again notice that it is Alia Bhatt who steals the show with that kind of a character which is to stay with us for long, unlike what she has been doing with ridiculous romantic flicks like Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania, Badrinath Ki Dulhaniya and Shaandar, or some half-cooked story like Dear Zindagi. Here she scores by playing the role of a commoner going through the struggle, and we know how good she can be, from Highway. Shahid Kapoor, at the same time, seems to live in this role, which is too good to watch. Diljit Dosanjh, whom most of us are seeing for the first time on the screen, has a controlled and memorable performance in store for us here. Kareena Kapoor, compared to the rest, has lesser to do, but remains the big presence.

The claws of flaw :: You will feel that the movie does go too slow in the middle, and it also takes a little too much in the beginning to get going, having you as a doubtful one in the beginning. The movie could have used its tale in a more effective way so that nothing is lost in the middle. There is rather too much of ups and downs in this movie, which could have kept itself at a certain level instead of coming down when not expected. A lot of people are also going to feel the essence of a documentary in this one, as there are no real heroes in this one, but common people who struggle against an evil which threatens to destroy our world – not really the usual Bollywood-ish kind of thing, is it? Well, it also seems to be forced to add a little bit of a romantic side to its main characters, and maybe the inspiration for the same is nothing more than knowing that we still have the Bollywood fans to please and gather support so that the one hundred crore mark could be reached. The seemingly funny side is also as a little bit too strange at times to be called funny.

How it finishes :: Udta Punjab is the movie that you can’t ignore, no matter what you think about it – it is also difficult to end up not appreciating this effort which seems so genuine right from the beginning itself. There is a certain amount of honesty here that we will end up appreciating – even when there is chance, the movie doesn’t pretend to be what it is not. It is surely a lesson, something for the new generation who is taking the easy path out with alcohol and drugs; the question will be whether they will learn enough from the movie to stop being addicted or if they will continue to fall into addiction. No matter what the youth decides, it is up to everyone to unite against the drug menace, and also spread the word against this kind of silent terror which has more strength than any direct act of terrorism to destroy our world as well as what goes beyond the same.

PS: Do watch the movie of the week, Thondimuthalum Driksakshiyum.

Release date: 17th June 2016
Running time: 149 minutes
Directed by: Abhishek Chaubey
Starring: Shahid Kapoor, Alia Bhatt, Kareena Kapoor, Diljit Dosanjh, Satish Kaushik, Suhail Nayyar, Prabhjyot Singh, Harpreet Singh, Manav Vij, Avinash Kumar

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Jolly LLB 2

Vampire Owl: I know this Jolly fellow. He was so jolly.

Vampire Bat: It is not that Jolly, but this one can be quite jolly too.

Vampire Owl: So, we have a sequel which has another Jolly, who is also a jolly fellow.

Vampire Bat: Yes, instead of Jagdish Tyagi, we have Jagdishwar Mishra. But we call them both Jolly.

Vampire Owl: That explains the change of cast. But then, this won’t be a real sequel.

Vampire Bat: Yes, but this is the second story of a Jolly, and it is just that it is another Jolly.

Vampire Owl: This is rather confusing with two of them being called the same name, despite having different names.

Vampire Bat: Well, this movie actually happens after the first, and we get a mention about the first movie by the character of the judge.

Vampire Owl: It would have still be nice if at least one person of the two was called Jaggu.

Vampire Bat: Well, these humans have a strange way of naming people again and again.

[Gets three cups of special tea with Tiger biscuits].

What is the movie about? :: Jagdishwar Mishra a.k.a. Jolly (Akshay Kumar) is a lawyer who wishes to make it big as a lawyer, but with his chances a long way away, works as an assistant to one of the most famous lawyers of Lucknow, Rizvi Sahab (Ram Gopal Bajaj) at Lucknow. Jolly is not considered as a lawyer who can go the distance, as he is the son of the man hailing from Kanpur who was only an assistant for his whole career, and Jolly himself doesn’t have his own chamber even after trying so hard. A pregnant lady, Hina Siddiqui (Sayani Gupta) spends most of his time in and around court area, trying to convince any of the well-known lawyers to take up the case of his husband. She begs Jolly to make his senior lawyer to accept her case. With the need there to get two lakhs for the final payment of his chamber, Jolly lies to her that the senior lawyer has agreed to take her case, and a sum of two lakhs need to be paid as soon as possible, to which she agrees.

So, what happens next? :: After getting the money from her, Jolly inaugurates his new chamber on the day of Holi in style with his wife Pushpa Pandey (Huma Qureshi) and the rest of his well-wishers. But Hina who finds out about the same, reaches there and creates a scene. Jolly tells her that he intended to return the money after this was done, but she tells him that he should have also rejected her appeal, as everyone else, instead of cheating her – she returns home and commits suicide. Everyone including his own father blames Jolly for causing the death of a pregnant woman. Jolly is unable to sleep or think properly with Hina’s death in his mind. With the help of his friend and lawyer Birbal (Rajiv Gupta), he decides to filed a public interest litigation to get justice for Hina and her husband, something which was to be his biggest challenge in life.

And, what is to follow next in the adventure? :: Jolly understands that the case about Hina’s husband Iqbal Qasim (Manav Kaul) was regarding his fake encounter by Police Inspector Suryaveer Singh (Kumud Mishra) on the very next day after their wedding, which brought him promotion. Iqbal was arrested by the police under the suspicion that he was an Islamic terrorist who reached the place from Jammu and Kashmir, and the same was confirmed later, and he is supposed to have shot a police constable while trying to escape, and the cop had died in the hospital later. The truth though, is that Suryaveer just shot him to make the encounter look more genuine, and by mistake he had ended up dead. Worried that he was going to land in big trouble, Suryaveer then hires his good friend and Lucknow’s best lawyer Pramod Mathur (Annu Kapoor), to take up his case, also paying fifty lakhs for the same. Can Jolly go against all odds to win the case and bring justice?

The defence of Jolly LLB 2 :: It is not that easy to work well with court-room drama movies and make them work, especially as things tend to get dull with the setting at the same place, and people tending to repeat the same thing again and again, but Jolly LLB 2, just like its predecessor, manages to be entertaining in more than one way. Well, the scenes inside the court are the best moments of the movie without doubt. We are so interested in knowing what happens by the end of the movie, that we find it difficult to move from the seat. The movie balances the comic side with the edge of the seat moments really well, and we get to see Akshay Kumar doing an amazing job as the protagonist who struggles to make it big. Saurabh Shukla brings the fun in between, and Sayani Gupta makes a heavy impact even with those lesser number of scenes. Huma Qureshi’s work is limited, but she does fine when she is there.

The claws of flaw :: There is the presence of those unnecessary songs and dance sequences which seem to make hardly any impact. The movie is also not without its ups and downs, and gets to the next level only later in the first half. There should also be questions about the way the truth is brought to light in this one, and you will also feel that some sequences are brought to us in such a way that the purpose is more to take melodrama higher rather than anything else. We feel that the innocence and simplicity of the first movie is not that much there in this one – we know how much that movie had raised the expectations so well. The audience also wonders if all of these, or at least most of these is actually possible inside a court. I am sure that this movie could have had many more interesting moments with some more divergence too. Also Huma Qureshi and Sayani Gupta could have been there for more.

How it finishes :: Jolly LLB 2 can be considered as good a movie as its predecessor when we have a look at it as a whole. Last year, Akshay Kumar had Airlift and Rustom to do the job for him after Baby and Brothers while going back longer, and this year, it is Jolly LLB 2 so far. There is also something to think about with this one, as one wonders how significant is the common man when facing the rich and the influential, for everyone don’t keep getting the saviours in time. Jolly LLB 2 could be the best Bollywood movies of the year for many people, and is sure to be in the top ten for almost everyone who watches movies regularly. There have been similar interesting movies in Malayalam too with Yes Your Honour starring Sreenivasan and the next level of the same was the Suresh Gopi starrer Melvilasom – all these are the kind of movies which could be watched together for some good quality court-room drama.

Release date: 10th February 2017
Running time: 137 minutes
Directed by: Subhash Kapoor
Starring: Akshay Kumar, Huma Qureshi, Sayani Gupta, Annu Kapoor, Saurabh Shukla, Kaustubh Pile, Manav Kaul, Kumud Mishra, Inaamulhaq, Sanjay Mishra, Vinod Nagpal, Brijendra Kala, Avijit Dutt, Rajiv Gupta, Sunil Kumar Palwal, Shubhangi Latkar, Ram Gopal Bajaj

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2

PyaarKaPunchnama2 (2)

What is it about? :: Anshul (Kartik Aaryan), Siddharth (Sunny Singh Nijjar) and Tharun (Omkar Kapoor) are best friends who share a flat. Anshul meets Ruchika (Nushrat Bharucha) during a party, gives her his mobile number and their relationship begins. Siddharth comes across Supriya (Sonnalli Seygall) at a wedding program and immediately falls in love, hoping to get married to her as soon as possible. Tharun meets Kusum (Ishita Raj) while at the gym and with his infatuation, their love story begins. But all these three relationships don’t move forward as expected. They try to make things better, even by going to a trip to Pattaya, but the situation remains the same. It seems almost impossible to get along with each other, with a split ready for all the three couples.

The defence of Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2 :: The comic side of this movie is strong as expected. The same successfully generates a lot of laughter in the theatre. Making the audience laugh a lot is not that easy, and that has been achieved, both in the case of men and women viewers. The songs are okay. The vain love based on infatuation gets the beating here, even when there is absolutely no need to bring a message here or be serious about its idea. The jokes related to online life and the struggles of Siddharth to impress the girl’s parents are the best among them. This movie only does what it is supposed to do, and if anyone wanted it to do something else which it was never planning to come up with, they can hate the movie, but bringing just one point up is more like vendetta. I agree that this could have done differently, and that would have surely improved my opinion, but this product works.

Claws of flaw :: You can see that critics have chosen to degrade this movie, but most you will see that the reason itself is one-sided and prejudiced, as it can only be found by digging the wrong way. But this movie is no big thing either. The flick actually starts with some drag, and it only gets better with the men meeting the women. All the comedy stuff won’t work that well either, and it is not applicable for everyone in the same way throughout the flick. Some dialogues were quite unnecessary, and the movie surely had better scope. The acting department is not that great either, but not much is required in this movie as the cast manages okay. You will also get less out of this movie if you have decided to thrive in the negative idea given to you by the critics, and won’t watch this as a regular movie loving human who thinks not from or in favour of any category.

Soul exploration :: I keep wondering why some critics think that this movie hates women. It makes no sense, because anything against women in this movie is from three male protagonists who are pretty much dumb (nobody needs to believe even a word they say); so if there is anything negative here, it is to be shared between both sexes. I can have problems about how men are portrayed in this movie too! Well, it is a modern take on the relationships which have no value and about those which are too hasty; it is about how decisions taken without base never last – it is also applicable both ways; you can also see a male character whose girlfriend has ditched him, and it is clear that the particular person appears as the mirror image. People are free to come up with opinions, but some people surely need to develop some tolerance – otherwise, these people might not have the right to call the political parties and religions intolerant.

Further soul exploration :: This just a story about a relationship, and not judgment. There are movies with good women and there are others with bad women; sometimes there are those which are full of bad men and otherwise good women. But if you look closely here, are these characters the kind of people who can’t exist in this world? Haven’t you seen the shades of some of them in your life? Don’t try to deny it because of your prejudice. Well, if you are looking for the same story to progress from all angles with just one movie, you are looking at the wrong place. These people who pass judgment in favour of just one side of this flick really need to think again. If they need movies which hate women, Bollywood has many of them along with another Indian flicks, and this movie here is not one of them – you will know if you remove those shades of prejudice. Nobody with sanity will let this movie define their world except for laughing at the jokes! This is never really about true preaching! No characters here are heroes to imitate either!

More of soul exploration :: If you are determined to hate this movie, and looking for points to note down, feel free to write something even before watching this movie. If you think that men in this movie are so awesome and women so bad, you need to look into your viewpoints about the good and the bad; because all that this movie has is a collection of grey characters. You don’t even feel that the women are evil in this movie if you look deeper; what you see here is a case of not finding the right person, as each human being is different. These three men found the wrong women, and they suffer for it – the men are not really angels either, and their choices were just dependent on infatuation or lust. Here is a message for you to take home even if there is none intended – don’t go for looks and don’t fall for what you feel with first looks; go for character. You got the message when there is none; happy? Now, that is a good addition.

How it finishes :: Actually, under normal circumstances, if you are looking to take a message from a full comedy movie, you are looking at the wrong place. What to expect from this movie was pretty much clear. I went for this movie thinking how terrible this would be, thanks to those critics who only saw only one side of this one. But that only helped me to once again understand why I shouldn’t go by the opinions especially when they are focusing on one particular thing which is not even the basic factor of this movie. I haven’t watched the first movie, but about Pyaar Ka Punchnama 2, I am sure that it will make the viewers laugh, and the genre here is comedy – note that down. It doesn’t have anything else, and this is not a movie to be taken seriously. If you thought that this was going to the movie with a grand love message, the problem is on your side and not with the movie makers. Use that side of brain somewhere else, as there are many serious ones and grand superstar movies which work against equality.

Release date: 16th October 2015
Running time: 136 minutes
Directed by: Luv Ranjan
Starring: Kartik Aaryan, Nushrat Bharucha, Sonalli Sehgall, Ishita Raj, Omkar Kapoor, Sunny Singh, Rumana Molla, Sharat Saxena, Manvir Singh

pyaarkapunchnamaa

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Welcome Back

welcomeback (2)

Vampire Owl :: Thank You. I appreciate it.

Vampire Bat :: What do you appreciate? Why?

Vampire Owl :: You said welcome back when I entered the theatre.

Vampire Bat :: I was telling the name of the movie when you entered. Why do you talk as if the theatre is my ancestral property?

Vampire Owl :: Actually, as you spend a lot of time here, I had the feeling that this is really your home. You should actually think about shifting here. This way, you can sleep in the queue and when you wake up, you will be the first one on the queue.

Vampire Bat :: This is why nobody listens to your ideas.

Vampire Owl :: Or you can marry the daughter of a theatre owner, or ask for some kind of season ticket for movies. See, I am giving you free advice which nobody else can offer.

Vampire Bat :: You can do me a favour by not giving me any idea.

Vampire Owl :: You are going to make me watch a Hindi comedy movie after you got me to watch Humshakals and Main Tera Hero. You will be forced to return to my ideas in return.

Vampire Bat :: That was because we missed the movies which we were actually going to watch on those days. Now you have ruined the day already by talking about those movies.

[Gets ready for the movie].

What is it about? :: Uday Shetty (Nana Patekar) and Majnu Pandey (Anil Kapoor) have ceased being dons and are running big hotel business in Dubai, as they try hard to control themselves from going back to their life of crime again. But they are finding a certain amount of loneliness in their lives, and the realization that even their low level henchmen are happily married with kids makes them very depressed. They look for the right person to marry as they find Nandini (Ankita Shrivastava), a stunningly good-looking girl who is also a princess from some royal family. With beauty and royalty there in store, both men falls for the same girl, and hopes to have the happy ending for themselves. Her mother, the royal mother, the Maharani (Dimple Kapadia) makes arrangements for the wedding.

And welcome back the problems and confusions :: There is the tough decision to make, based on which of the two to marry. Ever since they were shot on the heart with one sight of the girl in bikini at the beach, both of them are not ready to back-off. Meanwhile, Uday’s father comes to the scene with another daughter in his third marriage, Ranjhana (Shruti Haasan) and hopes that the former underworld dons try to get her married too. The mother-daughter team who are not really of royal blood, but con women who are hoping to steal as much money from the two friends as much as possible, come up with the condition that their sister has to be married off at first, because it is the tradition. This is where Doctor Ghungroo (Paresh Rawal) and his step-son Ajay Barsi a.k.a Ajju Bhai (John Abraham) comes to the picture.

The defence of Welcome Back :: There is no moment when this movie pretends to be smart, and you know what to expect here right from the beginning and throughout the movie. The visuals are stunning, and they have used Dubai to give some of the best treats for the eyes of the audience. The laughs are there, and most of the jokes are delivered through some interesting dialogues – the path is lead by the trio of Paresh Rawal, Nana Patekar and Anil Kapoor as expected. With these three around, there is the certainty of fun; the comic timing is right there as even the more simpler situations are turned into scenes of comedy. The pick of all the funny scenes is the one at the cemetery. There is also no shortage of style and good-looking people in this movie. There are only a few comic situations which goes down in effect; otherwise the comedy, despite being mindless is right there.

Claws of flaw :: The silliness of the movie is heavy, and it gets more ridiculous by the end. There is a strange mayhem going on in the end along with some extra meaninglessness added as if to make things come together. There are big SUVs, helicopters, remote controlled copters which explode, gangsters shooting, people running around, random people falling – there is even a sand storm and running camels making no sense even with nothing in the mind. The songs are not much interesting, and the source material surely had scope for better development and even more fun. May be they never really needed another big don here, and may be the focus could have always been with how the former underworld dons are manipulated into agreeing to the marriage, with mother and daughter playing interesting parts in it happening. But this has chosen to keep any trace of logic out of the scene, and has also stretched the flick.

Performers of the soul :: John Abraham proves to be good – he is not the show-stealer here, but he has done his part with sincerity, and here he is showing some skills with the comic side. He has managed this avatar just the way one would expect it to be. Shruti Haasan looks very cute throughout the movie, and doesn’t have much to perform. The big performances go into the hands of Nana Patekar and Anil Kapoor who steals the show along with Paresh Rawal. These three make this movie the fun that it has managed to be. They just can’t be replaced, not even a twenty sequels later (who knows how many more will come this way). The new comer Ankita Shrivastava might be the most beautiful person around, and she has some skills for the comic side – there is future. Dimple Kapadia joins the fun well and Rajpal Yadav has some short, but funny moments. Naseeruddin Shah and Shiney Ahuja get a few such moments too.

How it finishes :: About the special appearances, only Surveen Chawla makes some impact. This one actually has similarities with Main Tera Hero, but doesn’t go that way to become a disaster. The credit for the same goes to how things are managed without heroism and the overacting which was abundant in that movie no longer exists here in the case of Welcome Back. The cast itself is the big boost to this movie as Wecome Back can provide something to those looking for this type of mindless comedies. This could have still been shorter, and getting rid of some of the cliches and repetitions would have been nice – one has to wonder what is hindering the innovation when not much trouble has been taking with other departments including the script. What we need here is not to think and just to enjoy the comic side. The South actually got Kunjiramayanam to enjoy more at the same time.

Release date: 4th September 2015
Running time: 152 minutes
Directed by: Anees Bazmee
Starring: John Abraham, Shruti Haasan, Nana Patekar, Anil Kapoor, Ankita Shrivastava, Dimple Kapadia, Naseeruddin Shah, Shiney Ahuja, Paresh Rawal, Supriya Karnik, Sakshi Maggo, Rajpal Yadav, Surveen Chawla (cameo), Lauren Gottlieb (cameo)

welcomeback

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Bajrangi Bhaijaan

BajrangiBhaijaan (2)

Vampire Owl :: How come you decided to watch this movie all of a sudden?

Vampire Bat :: There is too much hate all around. I thought I could escape from it through whichever movie that proclaims universal brotherhood.

Vampire Owl :: But we don’t officially trust these kind of movies.

Vampire Bat :: Yes, I have been reading the hate messages on social networking sites. People need movies like this to bring down the hate.

Vampire Owl :: But are you sure about this choice of movie?

Vampire Bat :: Yes, mostly because I don’t see any other. The reviews are also positive like the box-office collections.

Vampire Owl :: Whatever the collections are, I hope this one collects more than the depressing things like Krrish 3, Dhoom 3 and Chennai Express.

Vampire Bat :: Lets see what we can get from this one to contribute to the reviews.

Vampire Owl :: Yes, I hope that you are right about this one.

Vampire Bat :: Well, even the Vampire Oracle has favoured me on this choice.

[Gets the tickets].

What is it about? :: Pawan Kumar Chaturvedi a.k.a Bajrangi (Salman Khan) has a love story going on with Rasika (Kareena Kapoor), and as he is considered not good enough for anything, he got to prove his worth to her father (Sharat Saxena) with six months left. He has been traditionally declared as such a failure that his first success brought a heart attack to his father. Meanwhile, Shahida (Harshaali Malhotra), a speech-impaired little girl from Pakistan gets lost in India during a pilgrimage trip and ends up with him because she had to get down from the train and do a “Mary had a little lamb”. As everyone comes to know that she from Pakistan after she claps with a Pakistani win over India in a cricket match, he decides to get her to Pakistan in one way or the other. But he might have to break more than a few rules for the same.

The defence of Bajrangi Bhaijaan :: Strong in its messages and emotions, Bajrangi Bhaijaan does manage to keep people positively interested in the movie. The elements which would please the crowd and even bring them to tears are interestingly intertwined to create a nice effect in totality. There is comedy added here and there and a light tone is maintained. The actions scenes are less, but are there to make sure that the usual crowd will like the stuff. The visuals are very nice, and the second half does have a big advantage over the first because of getting rid of the silliness, and the ending, even though a little overdone, is okay and the movie finishes off with an emotional touch which seemed to be very much enjoyed by the audience in the theatre. The performances led by Salman Khan and the little kid also work very well.

The claws of flaw :: The movie is still old wine in a new bottle up-to an extent. The story is something rooted in many others of the past, and even with the current changes, the soul remains the same. Yes, there is more care taken in how certain things are managed here, but the melodrama comes up at times, and some jokes are not really effective either. The plot is just ordinary, and it is treated with all those which could make an impact on the audience. The love for truth displayed by the main character is rather overdone, and so are those songs, among which none makes an impression. The chicken song was rather too irritating. The romantic angle is completely out of order, and the flashback in the bus was the lowest point of the movie. There are also too many predictable events happening in the first half and things are not that much believable. Well, the end does justify the means up-to an extent.

Performers of the soul :: My favourite movie from Kabir Khan remain the more realistic Kabul Express. Salman Khan continues to bring the crowds into the theatres, and along with the same, he manages this character with skill. Even though the character becomes just “the good brother”, he has given the same some interesting moments which are going to stay in the minds of the viewers. Harshaali Malhotra, the kid remains the big star of this movie, and she is the one making the biggest impact, as one would expect; that too with no words spoken. Kareena Kapoor was totally unnecessary in this movie and so was the whole sub-plot related to her, but she does okay here. Nawazuddin Siddiqui provides great support.

Soul exploration :: The message of universal brotherhood is nicely used here. There has been too much hate going on these days, and if you look on the social media, it is crystal clear. The movie gives a lesson about how important it is to love the others beyond the borders, with respect for other religions, races and traditions. Patriotism and nationalism shouldn’t be about hating people of other nations. People should be free to support any nation when a sporting event is happening. Cricket is not a test of hate-based patriotism. The right patriotism should be about love for one’s country and not based on hate. It should be about working for the development of the nation and not to tarnish its image by intolerance and prejudice. At a time when even state-based hate is propagated and even dogs have better status than humans, can one hope for a better situation?

How it finishes :: People have been actually judging this movie by its title. I have actually heard people saying no to the movie due to the same. I don’t know about the Bollywood audience, but it has given a strange feeling in this part of the world. So, it is not easy to guess why I had almost nobody local in the theatre. People judge a movie by its title, but this movie is a fair watch. It is nowhere near perfect, but is enough to provide an entertaining and emotional ride. With its core, what it reminds me of, is about Picket 43, a movie about the relationship between two soldiers on the two sides of the border – there is no relation with the stories, but in the soul, both seems to have a similar connection, of people and their families.

Release date: 17th July 2015
Running time: 159 minutes
Directed by: Kabir Khan
Starring: Salman Khan, Harshaali Malhotra, Nawazuddin Siddiqui, Kareena Kapoor, Meher Vij, Najeem Khan, Kamlesh Gill, Om Puri, Sharat Saxena, Alka Kaushal, Adnan Sami, Atul Srivastava

BajrangiBhaijaan

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Bewakoofiyaan

bewakoofiyaann

Why the Bewakoofiyaan? :: Now that should be a valid question because this was not among those movies which I was looking forward to watch. If there was any Hollywood movie or a hyped Malayalam movie releasing this weekend, I would have surely skipped this with so much ease. Neither the trailer nor the much talked about bikini scene of Sonam Kapoor actually created any interest in this movie. But if we consider the talks about the Cricket World Cup T20 affecting this movie’s business, it can only be partially true in case of a failure to prove false. I am pretty sure that cricket and movies can’t be considered in the same league. Cricket is just another sport (or the least significant of them, thanks to the match-fixing, overdose of money and the retirement of all players who were role-models as IPL has been successfully crowned as the good WWE’s evil twin brother), and movie is an art (even as there have been a lot of high-grossing movies from Bollywood in 2013 itself which attempts to prove that there is a lot of trash); so in this situation when there are not many other movies releasing to challenge this one, Bewakoofiyaan will have only itself to blame.

What is it about? :: It is the love story of Mayera Sehgal (Sonam Kapoor) and Mohit Chaddha (Ayushmann Khurana) who have been in love for quite a long time. In the beginning itself, we come to know that Mohit was promoted and now has a salary above rupees sixty thousand per month. Mayera earns more, and her father VK Sehgal (Rishi Kapoor) is an IAS officer with lots of influence in the police and the government. He is a strict father who wishes to get his daughter married to a rich man so that she can get whatever she wants. But unfortunately, she is in love with an orphan who earns less than what happens to be her salary, and Sehgal can’t accept him. So he puts his future son-in-law in a probation period as he checks his records and keeps a track of his life so that he can understand if he is any good for his daughter. At the same time, he hopes that he can somehow rejects the guy who seems not good enough for his daughter. The movie is all about how the relationship between the three progresses as the situation worsens.

The defence of Bewakoofiyaan :: There are not many things that the movie can boast about. But it does hold onto its mediocrity with such power it doesn’t end up being boring despite not being on the interesting side for long. There are no particular moments which are exceptional or too bad. The movie is like a straight line and it doesn’t go above that standard which it sets in the beginning. The flaws are there, but they can be forgiven up-to an extent as this movie takes no risk, thus keeping everything under control, no bringing any fatal blow on itself. The songs are just about average. The message of love reigning over money is there, even as it works only partially, and most of the time one is left to wonder about all the relationships in the movie, may be with the exception of one very minute love story between the workers of a coffee shop. But there is still the love, and once again they say that money has no real significance in front of love, and there comes the morality tale’s tail and it wags.

The Claws of flaw :: There are always movies like Besharam which eats and breathes flaws in bulk and thrives on nothing else. But Bewakoofiyaan doesn’t go that way even when the tendency is always there. The plot’s predictability is the first thing that keeps pulling the movie back, as we have seen such stories so many times that such overdose can make Barnabas Collins lose his faith in eternal love and burn copies of Romeo and Juliet. The emotional element is indeed weak, as the so called love separates just in the name of a rock show and shoes. Then everything just comes into place after a sudden transformation from the future father-in-law out of nowhere. This lack of ideas and innovations makes brings to us the makers’ need to inflate the movie further. The funny moments doesn’t work fully and the laughter is limited. In that case, the relief is Rishi Kapoor who handles that side with care, even as we know that there could have been so many more moments created with a story like this. I would say, use that stupidity in the title to create a big advantage!

Performers of the soul :: The first impression that one might get after hearing about the movie might be that it is the movie of Sonam Kapoor, and there is the need to look out for her. We wish that there would be something special coming up, but there is nothing. She ends up being just the third important character in the story in a movie which is all about her getting married to the man she loves, and the one thing she manages is to looks awesome throughout the two hours. Ayushmann Khurrana does well though, in a character which doesn’t seem to being anything new. We can’t say that they haven’t tried to bring the title of the movie into the plot though. But the whole thing is taken over by Rishi Kapoor more than anybody else. He remains funny throughout the movie, even as the character can’t escape from being irritating at times. We have seen better father-in-laws who wish to save their daughters from making the wrong choice, but as far as this one is concerned, it is the actor who makes it more interesting. He only gets better by the time the movie gets closer to the end.

Soul exploration :: There is question of choosing money or love, and our characters seem to choose both of them at one or the other point of time. Still, love is asserted again and again, and somehow the hero and heroine manages to stick together until that one stupid fight which lands out of nowhere. The father-in-law is too much into money until he suddenly transforms. If the message is about how minute a thing money is, that is still a fine message, in a world where Gandhiji works only paper. The movie also touches the dignity of labour and the value of true friendship, and the fact that nothing is forever; they are even doubtful about the couple happily living ever after as they write so in the end. As far as reckless spending is concerned, this doesn’t work that well as the Malayalam movie Diamond Necklace or even as much as London Bridge, as that side is too much eclipsed by the romantic side. But one can’t disagree to the fact that some lessons might have been learned by the protagonists and there is a lot more in store.

How it finishes :: My birthday was this week, just a few days ago and my desire to watch a movie on the day was finally fulfilled with this one. Yes, I am giving a certain amount of birthday bonus to this movie, as there would have been no birthday movie for me if it wasn’t for this one. Yes, there are no better movies which released this weekend. The number of theatre going audience has gone down, but still the fact remains that they have failed to release movies like Prisoners, Oldboy, Ender’s Game, I Frankenstein and Non-stop here; when they don’t release such movies which can bring audience, and instead did come up with movies like After Earth and Mortal Instruments: City of Bones last year, there is no doubt that they don’t know what the viewers want. Then there is 300: Rise of an Empire with the most shows in a multiplex which will be abandoned by families; so this is your week, Bewakoofiyaan – hold on to it, and if you can stick to the screens and the opinions won’t go too bad, you can come out well; after all you are still better than movies like Chennai Express, Krrish 3 and Dhoom 3.

Release date: 14th March 2014
Running time: 118 minutes
Directed by: Nupur Asthana
Starring: Ayushmann Khurrana, Sonam Kapoor, Rishi Kapoor

Bewakoofiyaan copy

@ Cemetery Watch
✠The Vampire Bat.

Phata Poster Nikla Hero

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Even as the comedy movies are not having a good time these days and I have been mostly against them with the exception of Go Goa Gone, this one comes from the same person who had earlier directed Andaz Apna Apna, and so it was to be watched also because it had positive reviews from a good number of people whom I trusted. No, I don’t like Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani, and so lets leave it out of this. Watching the Malayalam movie Sringaravelan worked completely against that idea though, and delayed the procedure even further with the reminder of the horror that a comedy movie can be. But the need to watch a movie featuring Ileana D’Cruz came up, and as most of the people did in last year, I didn’t watch Barfi nor did I watch Nanban, which made this movie closer to a must-watch. To add to it, the trailer was pretty good too, considering the standards which one expect from a mindless comedy movie. No, the movie doesn’t live up-to the trailer as it is not a fun riot throughout as it mixes things. Well, its mixed reviews are justified for sure, as the film raises its bar as a comedy movie which is not for one age group or just a generation of viewers, even as it never reaches that high level of something which is to be remembered for a long time.

If this movie was to raise the bar high enough, this review was to feature an interview with Count Dracula himself, but as it didn’t do that well enough, Dracula has to stay with just one interview provided (moviesofthesoul.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/hotel-transylvania/‎) and this won’t be the time for the second. The movie starts very well if we look at it, but it loses most of its strength in the second half, and the use of sentiments and there is that little more action which is more than needed, that doesn’t really help the cause. The movie is a breeze throughout the first half, and a disoriented wind in the second half. The movie required more comedy too, even as most of the existing funny lines surely work. With this movie with a title that is literally translated as Poster Rips Open And Out Comes Hero, there was a lot more possible. This could have been the best comedy movie of the year in any language from India if it had taken over from the base which was set in the first half, but unfortunately it trails to its own early half. Still, it doesn’t lose its path completely, as it holds on and on to the mindlessness and provides us with something which looks more like a parody at times, but is still funny enough.

The movie has a simple story if not the simplest of the age. There is nothing complicated in a young man from a village, Vishwas Rao (Shahid Kapoor) who hopes to become a big superstar by gaining a leading role in a movie. He is raised by his mother (Padmini Kolhapure) by driving an auto-rickshaw, hoping that her son will grow up to be a Police Inspector and beat up the evil guys, restoring order to a world lacking in righteousness and truth. She hopes that through her son, there will be justice which was destroyed by her own husband who was a corrupt police officer until the moment of his death. As Vishwas tries to make it to the big screen, his mother tries even more to make him a police officer, but he retaliates by depicting himself as unfit in front of those who conduct the tests. As he is called to Mumbai as the last chance for a police job, he goes there happily and tries his luck in the movies instead. But as a he comes up against a social-worker Kajal (Ileana D’Cruz) who confuses him as a police officer and he is pitted against the gangs of the city. He accidently catches another thief, and he hesitates to tell the truth as he falls for her slowly, but steadily.

The arrival of his mother who thinks that he is a police officer, also complicates the situation. He gets his aspiring actor friends to help him in the life-time acting of the police officer and even convinces the police commisioner to act so that he can help his mother. He is forced to save those who were vacated by goons due to his mother forcing him, and then again Kajal makes him raid a dance bar, an act which saves a number of women and exposes a lot of black money. The result is that the underworld don Gundappa (Saurabh Shukla) and the corrupt inspector Ghorpade (Zakir Hussain) on his payroll comes to consider him as a serious threat to their business and begins a big search for him. There are talks about an international criminal nicknamed Napolean and a dangerous terrorist mission known as the White Elephant, but at the same time, the police commissioner comes to stay near the place where our hero and his mother are staying, which adds to his woes, as he tries hard to keep his mask of the non-corrupt police officer on his face. Now, the hero has to become the real-life star rather than the big-screen star.

This is Shahid Kapoor’s favourite performance as I am concerned. I haven’t been his fan, but I liked his performances in 36 China Town and Fida. This is the first time that I have seen his performance which is fully comic in character, and there is no doubt that he has done the best among the actors. The best scenes include those when he meets Salman Khan when with his future love, and the dialogues with the police commissioner. He gets some good funny lines as expected. Yes, Salman Khan does make a cameo in this movie as himself, and Nargis Fakhri is there for an item dance which is more of a stage performance. Ileana D’Cruz looks lovely and dazzling throughout the movie, even as her character seems to make regular attempts to look cute and stupid, and turns incredibly gorgeous in the songs. Talking about the songs, it has to be said that they spring out of nowhere, like the demons of The Conjuring, but we get to see Shahid Kapoor at his stylish best and Ileana D’Cruz with serene beauty. The songs are undoubtedly forced on the movie, just like the climax. Ileana has her best lines in the beginning and the end, and in between, she has not much to outside the songs, alone.

As I had mentioned earlier, Ileana D’Cruz is the main reason why I stumbled upon this movie, and I have to say that she is part of my list of favourite actresses in Bollywood, even though I should have been familiar with her movies from the movie industry of the South, which I am not, just in her case. One fact about her character is that it is both a stupid as well as a lovable one – all the characters of the movie are pretty much stupid for sure, except for Padmini Kolhapure’s mother character. Ileana’s character has used that stupidity to perfection though, as she plays the lady who is nicknamed Complaint Kajal for the large number of complaints which she files in the police station for various reasons. It is a character who is supposed to be so, and Ileana’s portrayal of the same makes her instantly likable. Her portrayal of the character is second only to the hero’s performance. The name Ileana, having its own Greek origins, meaning “of Troy”, derived from the Greek name Helen, and here too, the origins are quite justified, as she remains the most beautiful side of the movie, even as no wars were fought on her name.

Padmini Kolhapure plays a good, righteous mother perfectly, as its been a long time since I saw her on the big screen, as I missed the Hamlet inspired Malayalam movie Karmayogi in which she is supposed to have been a part of. The other actors have also did their part well enough to entertain us. The best thing about this movie is that there is no humour of bad taste or bad words which keep the families away, and there is nothing of adult jokes which some of the movies of this age uses when the makers run out of ideas. There is also assertion of truth and righteousness and in the end it is asserted that being a hero in real life is better than being a fake hero in the big screen, an idea which lightens up what seems to be an otherwise inferior end to what seemed to be coming in the first half. This weaker second half could have been boosted to make this movie a better treat, but for now, lets adjust with what we have here. This is a movie which you can watch without thinking much, and you can give your brain a rest. I could watch this one for just rupees fifty and this is more than just worth it. Watch this one for the Helen of Troy that is Ileana D’Cruz, the charming stylish Greek hero that is Shahid Kapoor, and all the fun which has a hidden goodness element – forget the plot and leave your brains behind though.

Release date: 20th September 2013
Running time: 146 minutes
Directed by: Rajkumar Santoshi
Starring: Shahid Kapoor, Ileana D’Cruz, Padmini Kolhapure, Darshan Jariwala, Saurabh Shukla, Sanjay Mishra, Zakir Hussain, Mukesh Tiwari, Rana Jung Bahadur, Deepika Kamaiah, Tinnu Anand, Nargis Fakhri (cameo), Salman Khan (cameo)

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠The Vampire Bat.

Go Goa Gone

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In this world touched by the vampires of the last century and dominated by the not-at-all scary pseudo-vampires powered by works like Twilight, zombies have been forced to take the back-seat. Some would say that it is deserving to be so, and that is al they need, but without solid proof. Still, it would not be wrong if one says that this is more of a racist prejudice against a species which is on its very first stages of understanding the new world after being dead and back as a new person with a little brain as big as a vampire fang. We had seen Zombieland, the 2009 zombie comedy movie making enough fun of the poor creatures of the grave who are just trying to listen to their basic instinct of survival, that is to feed. So, what happens is that instead of finding a flesh and blood substitute for them with the use of what is at their hands, the so called heroes just murder them, not always on self-defence, sometimes as a routine thing. In Zombieland, our heroes take an extended road trip across the United States in an attempt to find a place free from the zombies, and Go Goa Gone is also a trip, and it is another zombie comedy, thus starting a number of similarities there. They should end when they both get positive critical reviews and become good commercial success stories – our movie has to go a little more to be sure about it, but for now, and from what it seems to be, it is surely on its way to becoming a success by all means.

Zombies are typically depicted as mindless, re-animated corpses with a never-ceasing hunger for human flesh and at times for the flesh of a few other creatures, with a special liking for human brains which tastes more like fried rice, and with blood added to it, they have enough flavour. A vampire is basically a re-animated corpse that is believed to rise from the grave at night to suck the blood of the unsuspecting humans; this never-ceasing thirst for human blood and at times the blood of some other creatures, with a special liking for fresh blood of beautiful women which tastes more like strawberry shake with a blood topping. Forget the vampires of Twilight, as they don’t count – they are just mutated humans with superpowers which can only be maintained by drinking human blood; a case of just random parasites of the world. The zombies can trace their popularity to Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, while the vampires can trace theirs to Bram Stoker’s Dracula. It is basically John Polidori’s 1819 work, The Vampyre that got the vampire into the spotlight, while Mary Shelley’s 1818 work had already got the world’s first official zombie for the common man to understand. Did he eat human brains? No, but he did eat the brains of his own creator, and that is nothing less than cannibalism in an intellectual manner. Thanks to 28 Days Later and the never-ending series of Resident Evil movies and games, the zombies have finally found their address, in a different way, but not by losing their identity as in Twilight – not by choosing to sparkle rather than being what they really are.

It is known that they are both undead supernatural humanoids who hunts humans to please their instincts. In return, both are usually killed by burning or decapitating. They are both originally the creatures of the night and the undisputed rulers of the grave. The infection is spread and more of their kind is created by biting and infecting the wounds. They usually lack souls and are on the side of evil on a long scale which stretches from pure good to pure evil. zombies can walk in sunlight; vampires can only come out at night. But while zombies continue to decay and continues to lose their body parts, even as they won’t really mind it, vampires are preserved with their looks for eternity unless destroyed by an outside force. The zombies work solo even if they come in hordes – they don’t use nature, creatures or other fiends for help. The difference in looks and the food habits is evident. While zombies move slowly, vampires are incredibly fast. The violence in zombies is passive, but disheartening, as in vampires, it is active and still precise enough with the fangs on the neck of the victim. As zombies continue their mindless walk, vampires can use intellect as well as the superpowers, may be even shape-shift into animals like bats. Whatever is said, they are both still dead, but still moving, and they belong to the other side of the mirror, no matter how much Twilight try to make them assimilated.

Considering the movies like I am Legend and 30 Days of Night, there is surely a mixing of the two in history; forget Underworld‘s vampire-werewolf combination, this is more like that feasible undead combination. The origin through the death of the supreme evil men is one theory, but a virus infection seems to be more suitable to the age these days – zombies have been enslaved to this notion for more time than expected, while vampires also got themselves the scientific side with Daybreakers. Zombies are still scarier than vampires for the new age fans, as the latter have been portrayed in a romantic light not only in Twilight, but also in True Blood. Well, everybody needs their own dose of fear, and if vampires and witches can provide them no more, one has to turn to the zombies. There is always more than one side to horror; for more than it scares you, it rather prepares you for the worse which is to come. In the case of a horror comedy, it does the same without the problems of being that much scared. When Evil Dead didn’t release in India, it was a clear lose to the common horror fan. Whatever the reason might be, it is a clear case of absolute cruelty to a movie watcher to which many people should be answerable. Our movie is horror, comedy and the much needed experiment in this field for a movie industry which hasn’t really ventured to such a world before. Therefore, it is my privilege to welcome all of you into this world of zombies which is closer to the world of vampires than Twilight and True Blood.

The movie is the story of three friends, Hardik (Kunal Khemu), Luv (Vir Das), Bunny (Anand Tiwari). The first one needs a break from work, the second one a time away to deal with his break-up, and the third one has a presentation in Goa, which means that the first two accompany the third so that they can utilize all the facilities which are available to the more nerdy of the three as he goes for the presentation. In Goa, the whole scene takes a wrong turn when Luv meets the gorgeous Luna (Puja Gupta) in a violet bikini at the swimming pool and loses his broken heart once again. She introduces herself as one of his many facebook friends whom he rarely knew, and invites him for a special Russian party at an island not too far away. The party is hosted by a supposed-to-be-Russian guy named Boris (Saif Ali Khan) who is launching a special party drug, a prototype from Russia during this bash. The three friends have good time at the party. But what happens is that almost everyone on the island seems to turn into zombies on the very next day. Bunny even ends up telling a zombie girl to brush teeth before they meet up. As they slowly realize the hell that has come down on the island, Luv talks about saving Luna, to which Hardik replies that he will buy him a better Luna; the Kinetic Luna is always memorable isn’t it? They find Luna and are almost killed when Boris arrives in time to save them. Now, they have to survive, kill some dead people and get out of the island.

Kunal Khemu and Vir Das has complimented each other and has done a great job as the extremely lazy guys who argue so much about who will pick up the remote control andchange the television channel. They drink, smoke and run after girls with no interest in their works. They create the major part of fun in the movie, mostly with their lines. The third friend Bunny, played by Anand Tiwary, is just the opposite, as he is the nerd and he never gives an opinion otherwise. Saif Ali Khan steals the show from the moment he makes his first shot at a zombie. The Russian gangster is surely going to be a model for many characters in the future. He says “I kill dead people” and delivers. Along with the two friends in crime, he gets more of the better lines. He is an excellent zombie slayer and I hope he slays Twilight vampires too. Puja Gupta plays the gorgeous lady lead, and her arrival in the violet bikini marks the beginning of the twist, which would be complete on the very next morning. She transforms from the hot girl to the damsel in distress and then to the shotgun-murderer of the zombies by the end. She is undoubtedly a great addition to the beauty of Goa. Look out for the pool scene and when they take refuge in an abandoned house and try to figure out if one of them is really a zombie with question about Uganda and Mathematics. Go Goa Gone is undoubtedly a clever movie, and it is evident in the execution rather than everything else combined.

A week had the movie 3G as the big release, and here, two movies starting with alphabet G – 2Gs were the big releases from Bollywood, and this one would surely eclipse the other – after all, this movie has three Gs while the other has only one. Zombies would approve that it is reason enough for their success, running a full-time of 111-Nelson. The fun begins from the start itself, and it never ends; with the ending it has got, I would be looking forward to a sequel. This movie is what the Malayalam movie Kili Poyi could have been; with the heroes wandering around in Nee Ko Nja Cha style, the zombies add to the fun which is to be expected when the youth goes to Goa after a break-up and work-tension. Go Goa Gone is unlimited fun, and not your logically superior movie, but it still comes up with a strong message against the use of drugs. They have managed all of these and brought them together in such a manner that there is lots of blood and gore, and the zombie terror, still it is incredibly funny. The references to the movie Evil Dead, and the vampires and zombies of Hollywood just adds to the fun. Overall, it is non-stop entertainment without brains – for all the brains have been eaten by those zombies who are as hungry as any of the non-Twilight vampires a.k.a the real vampires.

Release date: 10th May 2013
Running time: 111 minutes
Directed by: Raj Nidimoru & Krishna D.K.
Starring: Saif Ali Khan, Puja Gupta, Kunal Khemu, Vir Das, Anand Tiwari

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠The Vampire Bat.