Replicas

Vampire Owl: Do you think that there will be people like us forming replicas?

Vampire Bat: Yes, I am sure that there will be at least a few, but not with the same vampiric characteristics and skills.

Vampire Owl: Do you think that a vampire can be cloned?

Vampire Bat: Yes, but the resulting person can only be a human, because vampiric traits cannot be taken into a clone.

Vampire Owl: So, you are saying that a vampire when cloned, becomes human?

Vampire Bat: I would think so. It is what Doctor Frankenstein said.

Vampire Owl: I wouldn’t listen to the mad doctor in this particular case.

Vampire Bat: Maybe, you can see what happens in this movie.

Vampire Owl: Keanu Reeves is back with another science fiction movie?

Vampire Bat: Yes, it hasn’t managed to have many positive opinions, but I have a feeling that we are going to like it. After all, there are more people like our Frankenstein.

[Gets a paper roast and three glasses of pineapple juice].

What is the movie about? :: William Foster (Keanu Reeves) and Ed Whittle (Thomas Middleditch) are scientists working for a a rich and influential American company set in Puerto Rico. This research firm known as Bionyne Corporation has been known for trying the impossible, with the amount of money they have put in to the scientific research which would help many people in the United States of America, and all around the world. Their attempt to transfer the mind of dead soldiers into a robot codenamed 345 keeps failing, and with the last attempt, it shows self-destructive behaviour, and the scientists are forced to stop the experiment until they find the missing link which would help them to connect the brain with the new robotic body. William and Ed tries to find a solution using their skills in defining neural pathways and human cloning respectively.

So, what happens with the events here? :: Jones (John Ortiz), their boss warns them about stopping this project and firing them, because those who had invested in this project needed results, and not just progress. William decides to go to a boating trip with his wife Mona Foster (Alice Eve) and three children Sophie Foster (Emily Alyn Lind), Zoe Foster (Aria Leabu) and Matt Foster (Emjay Anthony). But the trip turns to be a disaster, as a tree falls on the car, and the vehicle which losses control crashes into a river, leading to the death of William’s wife and children. But William doesn’t want to give up, and he calls Ed with the necessary equipment, hoping to bring his family back again. But will that work out as he expect them to? Is he good enough to do what he had earlier tried, this time with his family? Will the returning members of his family be the same? What will the company think if they find out what he has beeing trying to do?

The defence of Replicas :: The idea that lies beneath is movie is really strong, and serves well enough to keep the movie going – we have seen the dead person’s mind being transferred to a robot before, in movies like RoboCop, a franchise which has had some interesting movies, and a not that interesting reboot. We had also seen similar elements in Ghost in the Shell, and therefore, the scope was surely there. The movie’s best moments include the scene in which the wife is taken out of the pod, the man taking the corpses of his family and placing it on the side of the river, the moment when the wife knows what is happening, and also the final moments of the movie which has an interesting twist. The movie does have its thrilling moments in between, and the last few minutes are even quicker in action. After all, you know what Keanu Reeves is capable of.

The claws of flaw :: The opinions about the movie hasn’t been that good, but it is mostly because people have been overthinking this idea. After all, this is science fiction, and we are not really bothered about the science part as much as fiction, because most of us leave it with the tenth standard of plus two. Most of us haven’t used most of the advanced science and mathematics which we learned during those later years of school in life, and having chosen another stream, frying the brain with such things are indeed useless. But, there is no denying the fact that Replicas could have been better if it had dealt with the problems of cloning – instead, everything seems to be too easy here, and finally, our protagonist has a fine solution to all of these, and it all seems to be custom made for him, with him getting all that he wanted. After all, he is not John Wick, at least for now.

Performers of the soul :: Keanu Reeves has been a man known for Speed and The Matrix, and recently, very much as the hitman in John Wick, as he kept on murdering people one after the other as the popular assassin. Other than the action thrillers, he has suited the best for science fiction movies, and we have already seen that some movies actually combined these genres to make the best out of his works. He has no problem in working with role either, as he remains solid. Alice Eve is the perfect choice to play the cloned wife, as she gets that kind of a look in her face perfectly, and we remember how well she had dealt with her role in Star Trek Into Darkness – she gets into science fiction very well. Thomas Middleditch played his role, just okay while John Ortiz makes a pretty good villain. Emily Alyn Lind who was seen in Doctor Sleep also does good with the other kids, even though they are not significant around here.

How it finishes :: Replicas is the kind of movie which we usually miss at the theatres because there are not many screens being assigned to it, and it is also the kind of movie which the critics tend to bash by trying to find some science in it, when what the usual audience wants from a science fiction is only a very minute amount of science – otherwise, it would be too boring for the common man. I found the movie to be an entertaining one, and the thrills felt real, as we wanted to know the consequences of the protagonist trying to play god like Frankenstein did in a novel, many years ago. The emotional sequences also connect very well, and Keanu Reeves could easily pull this off, but he couldn’t satisfy the critics enough, as it seems from the low rating the movie received. During this lock-down season, try giving Replicas a chance, and lets see how much you agree to the critical opinions.

Release date: 11th January 2019
Running time: 107 minutes
Directed by: Jeffrey Nachmanoff
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Alice Eve, Thomas Middleditch, John Ortiz, Emily Alyn Lind, Emjay Anthony, Aia Leabu, Nyasha Hatendi

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Victor Frankenstein

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Vampire Owl :: None of our undead doctors have approved of this movie.

Vampire Bat :: That will not be a problem at all, because neither have the critics.

Vampire Owl :: So, we should still watch this one?

Vampire Bat :: As long as there is no ban, we can surely do that.

Vampire Owl :: Thankfully, we are not from a realm where there are bans on certain types of food, cinema and clothing.

Vampire Bat :: Yes, unlike these humans who are elected for no reason, Uncle Dracula is a lenient and intelligent ruler. Even the brain-dead Lich Queen knows better.

Vampire Owl :: We should let the clever film makers from the human side to work on their movies here.

Vampire Bat :: Yes, that will also be a big bonus for tourism; all is well as long as they keep their hatred, vanity, greed and envy outside our realms.

Vampire Owl :: And to avoid any temptation for the vampires, they should lock their necks, especially those veins…

Vampire Bat :: Stop! I am going to pretend that I never really heard that!

[Gets three cups of tea with tapioca chips].

What is it about? :: The tale begins and goes through the perspective of a nameless hunchback (Daniel Radcliffe) who works as the clown in a circus. He has been part of the circus for so long, and is more of a property of the circus, treated badly by most of the people there. But he secretly reads books that are stolen, mostly related to science, particularly human anatomy. He has feelings for an aerialist, Lorelei (Jessica Brown Findlay) who is injured during one of the shows. With no hope for her survival after falling from a good height, the hunchback tries his best to do anything, and at that exact moment, is aided by a stranger known by the name Victor Frankenstein (James McAvoy) who was attending the circus performance. Both succeeds in saving the girl who is taken to a hospital. This becomes the turning point in the life of the hunchback.

So what happens next? :: Victor Frankenstein has been a very ambitious medical student who has been working on something special. His aim has always been to make a discovery that would change the future. He has been scarred by his earlier experiences and wishes to make amends with his father (Charles Dance) who thinks that he is good for nothing and will never be anywhere close to his brother. He wanted to create life, and fascinated by a simple, uneducated hunchback’s knowledge in human anatomy, decides to recruit him for the cause as his assistant, and make things better and easier. So, he plans and manages a grand escape for the hunchback whom he names Igor, after his former room-mate. He drains the new assistant’s hump with his expertise and successfully hides him as the room-mate that he once had.

How does the journey go? :: The newly named Igor instantly impresses Victor, and they realize that they can go a long way forward. The police inspector Roderick Turpin (Andrew Scott) who investigates the disappearance of the hunchback realizes that something strange is going on, and it is against God. Considering Victor’s experiments as sins and his creations as unholy, he decides to stop him, whatever it might cost. They also come up against Lorelei once again, but this time as a different person. She also asks them to rethink about going against the natural order of things. But Victor and Igor are so close to their first case of success, but will that bring them glory or terror? What role will Lorelei play in this dangerous attempt at glory? Is it really an act against God, and what danger can this new creation from the grave bring?

The defence of Victor Frankenstein :: The visuals are really good with this one; there is a lot of style associated with the movie, and the cast also saves the day. Daniel Radcliffe and James McAvoy are good, especially the former who seems to have more control over his character. Jessica Brown Findlay also brings some charm while Andrew Scott is a fine opponent to the protagonists. The differences when compared to the original story has been nicely created. The messages are well placed, and they are mostly against vanity and the false ambition which stay strong within the main protagonist – he is so close to becoming Doctor Faustus, not just Doctor Frankenstein. It also asserts that there are things that cannot be changed and we have to accept them. There are some nice dialogues which keep making the point too. It has its own dose of entertainment too, and that matters.

The claws of flaw :: Victor Frankenstein needed a better flow in its story. It surely begins nicely, but gets lost at times. It is quite strange that the movie doesn’t try that hard to deviate from its source material from which it hasn’t really followed – there seems to be an attempt to return but at the same time staying different. The movie needed to be more certain with its story, and also could have dealt with its main characters differently – even though the main actors handle the whole thing well, better characterization and a much better background would have done them all, some more good. More horrors and thrilling moments could have been added to make its central idea about life and death more appealing; for now, they have done well to do that with the dialogues – maybe they could have done so without speaking that much about the same.

How it finishes :: Victor Frankenstein is another interesting movie based on Mary Shelley’s 1818 Gothic horror novel. The different versions of the same story or newly written extensions always bring something that can catch our attention, just like I, Frankenstein which extended the tale very nicely. In another case, there was Dracula Untold which brought another angle to the popular 1897 Gothic horror novel by Bram Stoker. If you are going to judge this one based on the many years old story, this is not the movie for you; but if you are ready to think from another angle, and understand the imagination behind making such a different attempt, you can surely go for this one, as despite not being that big Frankenstein movie, this is a fun movie which also leaves the viewers with some interesting messages to take home.

Release date: 27th November 2015 (India); 25th November 2015 (USA)
Running time: 110 minutes
Directed by: Paul McGuigan
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, James McAvoy, Jessica Brown Findlay, Andrew Scott, Charles Dance, Freddie Fox, Mark Gatiss, Callum Turner, Daniel Mays, Spencer Wilding

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

I, Frankenstein

I, Frankenstein)

Vampire Owl :: This movie was approved by Doctor Victor Frankenstein and his monster.

Vampire Bat :: It is still a risk. Just like his experiments. Last time, when he came up with such an experiment, I got teleported to different planets one hundred and twenty seven times. You know what happened with the monster.

Vampire Owl :: Still, I thought that there would be enough reasons to watch this movie. You keep coming up with something.

Vampire Bat :: Yes, the Frakenstein monster gets a special treatment, even though it is based on the graphic novel by Kevin Grevioux. Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein gets a twist.

Vampire Owl :: What about the fact that the trailer had looked very good?

Vampire Bat :: I watched the trailer more than an year ago. So, can’t remember.

Vampire Owl :: It still looks good.

Vampire Bat :: Do you know that the chances of good trailers leading to good movies are rare?

Vampire Owl :: Yes, but so are the chances of Uncle Dracula reclaiming his vampire throne as the ruler of all vampires.

Vampire Bat :: Okay, just don’t tell him.

[Waits at the bus station].

What is it about? :: It has been a long time after Doctor Victor Frankenstein (Aden Young) created a monster (Aaron Eckhart) from the dead. This story takes over from the finishing of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein and has the monster wandering through the world of men unnoticed. During an attack by demons, he is helped by Ophir (Mahesh Jadu) and Keziah (Caitlin Stasey) of the Gargoyle Order. He is named Adam after the first man on Earth, as he is also the first and the only one of his kind, and is informed that there is a battle between good and evil going on, and it is only the Gargoyle Order created by Archangel Michael that stands between the demons and them taking over the world of men. Meanwhile, a demon Naberius (Bill Nighy) exists on Earth in the form of a billionaire and an influencial business man; he hopes to find Adam and use the secret of Frankenstein to bring back corpses to life.

The defence of I, Frankenstein :: You know what kind of a story this movie is telling. I have always loved to know what happened to the monster after the Gothic novel had ended. So, this continuation should be a welcome thing for most of the fans of the work. There is a certain amount of mysterious beauty with this movie which is carried forward regularly. The movie is full of action, and the battles are very well taken. It has quite an interesting idea and how the story develops grabs the attention of the viewers with ease. The CGI and special effects are very good, and the transformation of stone gargoyles between what is seen on the cathedrals and into various make another thing of interest. The cathedral and the mythical world detail are really nice. There is a battle that take place around the building which is nothing less than a visual action treat. If you liked Underworld, liking this should come naturally.

The claws of flaw :: They could have established the universe better, and not just telling that there has been a war going on for centuries, along with putting our protagonist right between the factions. This has almost no horror at all; the demons are there, but they are not scary enough to make that much of an impact as the creatures from the depths of hell. This could have even worked as another story without our monster in between as demons fighting angels and some human with special power being the difference maker. They should have added something special for the monster, and his emotional and spiritual conflicts could have been displayed in connection with the choices that he has to keep making. But this one manages not to take many risks and goes on to make this the action movie that it manages to be; there is very less characterization, and the attempt to establish a mythology is only partially there.

Performers of the soul :: Aaron Eckhart comes up with quite a controlled and yet powerful performance as the creature without a soul. You can feel the effort that has been put there, even though further development of the character could have made it even better. Still, this might be the best which could have been done with all are available. The monster’s situation is actually made clear with one quote from the movie: “You’re only a monster if you behave like one”, and the depiction keeps us close to the character. Yvonne Strahovski looks very good in the role, and she does her job very well, despite having much lesser to do than expected considering the significance of her character. Bill Nighy manages to bring the villainy nicely, and very much working. Miranda Otto fits her role too, even though it is a strange character at times. Jai Courtney could have been better used.

Soul exploration :: The centre of all action is a creature who has no soul, as he is an animated corpse. This itself is his absence or imperfection, similar to what people lack; in this case, it is the soul itself, as he is not a combination of body and soul like a normal human being. As a creation of the dead, he is more a zombie, but with a working brain. [***Spoilers ahead] – The interesting point that this movie manages to make is that the creature does finally manage to grow a soul. Here, a monster who was close to the dead than the living manages to develop a soul with his deeds, but as we read the newspaper every day, some humans really doesn’t have at least part of the same and don’t strive for the same. The question remains if the people of our world who lives without heart and soul can finally manage to grown something, but as we see in the movie, it is easier for a corpse to grown one rather than the humanity driver by hate.

How it finishes :: I have seen many kinds of reviews, but nothing like this 3% on Rotten Tomatoes which told me why I shouldn’t trust these critics. I have known movies which are so unbearable getting better appreciation. The difference between these and those at Metacritic is almost 30% though, which surely makes me feel where I should be checking more; it has not just been the case of this movie! Well, this movie doesn’t bring anything huge that was going to change the movie world forever, but it did exactly what it was supposed to do, and I am surprised that some people couldn’t really have the sight to see that. Well, even all movies of Underworld franchise which moves on in a similar manner got better reviews along with those terrible movies which got positive reviews – critics would prefer to see Kate Beckinsale with her vampires and werewolves rather than being caught with a monster between demons and gargoyles, it seems.

Release date: 24th January 2014
Running time: 92 minutes
Directed by: Stuart Beattie
Starring: Aaron Eckhart, Bill Nighy, Yvonne Strahovski, Miranda Otto, Jai Courtney, Socratis Otto, Nicholas Bell, Kevin Grevioux, Steve Mouzakis, Caitlin Stasey, Aden Young, Chris Pang, Deniz Akdeniz, Goran D. Kleut, Mahesh Jadu, Penny Higgs

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Hotel Transylvania

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This review features the major excerpts from the interview with Count Dracula by the Vampire Bat during the last full moon night when both the Vampire Crocodile and the Vampire Owl were able to predict what was to expect in the movie After Earth and initiated a cryo-sleep on themselves to save themselves from visiting the theatres, something of which they are incapable. Any relation to any person living, dead, undead, going to die, half-dead, partially alive or those watching Malayalam new generation rom-shit movies/Hindi supposed-to-be-romantic movies (Eg: Annayum Rasoolum/Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani) might be a co-incidence and never practical. To add to it, no vampires, werewolves, zombies, demons, monsters or aliens (both Avatar blue and general green) were harmed while this interview was going on, but there is no guarantee about what happened after that. Well, this is that kind of an animated movie which can’t stand alone without Count Dracula, the supposed to be proud owner of Hotel Transylvania, where the world’s most awesome monsters can get away from human civilization and take rest. No, he is not the one who should not be named, so lets not call him just “D” or “CD”, and lets get on with what he thought about this flick.

Count Dracula: Oh its you again. Welcome to Hotel Transylvania! No, wait, welcome to Dracula castle. Hope you will never enjoy your stay here and get lost as soon as possible. You called my place a hotel in your letter – how can you even think so? I have a reputation to keep here, and movies like Twilight and whatever followed already took away half of it, and I am adjusting with whatever is left. Do I look pale? Do I sparkle right now? It has been so difficult to keep up with the new vampire fake myths. Nobody thinks that I am a vampire any more. To add to it, they are using the names like ward and swan related to vampires. And now, you come here with your fangs thinking this is a hotel. This is the worst thing that has happened to me since Twilight, New Moan, Ellipsis and Breaking Teeth – I lose my mind thinking about them and can’t even pronounce them right! Make it quick, Vampire Brat!

Vampire Bat: Well, this is the seven hundred and twenty seventh time in he last five hundred and one years of acquaintance that I am telling you that it is not the Vampire Brat, but the Vampire Bat. The “R” is not there ; it doesn’t even exist. Where do you think you are? In The Matrix trying to be Neo and bend the spoon even as there is actually no spoon? Is that what you want?

Count Dracula: Neo and spoon! Can I feed a little bit of that Neo thing in the spoon to my Zombie Dog who is caught in a loop chasing that local Vampire Cat for eternity? He can’t even stop for death; isn’t that the worst thing that can happen to anybody?

Vampire Bat: The first thing is that I hate that dog. The second thing is that there is no time. The third thing is about your home and your lovely monster friends who come to visit you very often.

Count Dracula: You are talking about Frank frankie freak? Frankenstein’s monster as you call him, is my oldest and the best friend even as he belongs to the zombie category which gives him reservation. He used to get thirty five marks moderation in his exams for which the pass mark for his category was twenty five. We vampires used to be given a maximum of thirty five out of hundred in all exams so that the balance was maintained! He even passed the interview for the job at The Demon’s Keep soul ferry service by only pretending to apply for it. But he is a good friend as I can murder him so many times and he won’t mind as he is already ugly and dead.

Vampire Bat: This doesn’t really feature in the movie, and I would like to stick to it. Your best friends include Wayne the werewolf, Frank the zombie, Griffin the invisible man and Murray the mummy. Your wife was murdered by a mob who set fire to your house and it was for your daughter Mavis that you built this hotel, I mean castle.

Count Dracula: That doesn’t make any sense as I was never married and neither did I have a daughter. I do call doctors here though, most are dentists. Do you like my golden tooth or the silver one? Never mind, please continue, as I like that story even as it is in no way related to me as a vampire.

Vampire Bat: On your daughter’s 118th birthday, you use your zombie minions to trick her and make her stay away from the humans whom you consider dangerous. But a human named Jonathan arrives, and you are forced to make him look like a monster to the other monsters to save your hotel. But soon, your daughter becomes attracted to him and the rest is history. Any part of this which you agree to?

Count Dracula: None of it. This mortal-immortal love story is the worst thing in the world. But I am glad that they didn’t add wolves to it this time. There is still a little bit of attraction which even a vampire would feel to such a simple, and yet different story. Was the movie a good watch for you?

Vampire Bat: I think it was very good during most of the parts. But the death of that mortal and Mavis living the right immortal life would have made it more interesting. She is the most evil one among the monsters as she chooses to go after a mentally retarded creature of modernity who doesn’t care about anybody but himself and his personified stupidity, a characteristic which changes only by his stay with the Count. She will surely be in hell for making such a nasty decision out of pure selfishness, but as it is fiction, let her rest in hell, for that Lucifer, Belzebub and Mephistopheles won’t mind. The visuals were pretty good, but the characters were kind of shallow. You are kind of strange in that movie and so is your daughter. To be frank, none of the monsters retain their basic qualities except for the looks which are made funnier, and this fun is the bright side along with the variety which has been brought.

Count Dracula: I would watch it then. I have many ways of watching a movie undetected by the humans at their own places. Do you think it deserves me by its portrayal of the great Count Dracula of Transylvania?

Vampire Bat: I would say yes. You have been depicted more good than ever, which is not always a bad thing. It is shown that you are a loving and caring father, and also has concern for the fellow monsters. You would even do anything to make all which you believe happen. If you can forget the funny part as just part of the complete fun, you surely won’t find it humiliating or anti-vampire.

Count Dracula: I shall watch it on next full moon with Frank. I trust you on this, and if you fail me, I shall make you watch some movies of nothingness – like that Malayalam movie Kili Poyi.

Vampire Bat: I have watched it and died many times in my immortal hours, Count. Now, it is the time to take my leave, until we collide on a hunt again. Good bye, Count.

Count Dracula: Good bye, brother; for now.

Vampire Bat (to himself): It might have been sad for such a legendary Gothic horror character to live through something as modern and horribly romantic as Twilight. The same would have happend to the Frankenstein monster as well as the Mummy, but in a lesser manner. This movie doesn’t give him his lost glory, but it surely does provide an alternative to Twilight for the faint-hearted ones who can’t really handle the supreme vampire with all his horrifying powers.

There a few things which are to be kept in mind while going for this movie. It has great animation, and the way in which each monster is detailed needs special mention, especially the Mummy and the Frankenstein monster. But the plot doesn’t stay that powerful, and there is the lack of use of the evil side of each and every monster except Quasimodo whose dark side is not that black to be explored in such a way. The characters are not that strong enough to create a grand experience. It is perfect for the kids with its lovable characters who show no shade of their original evil, and the love between a mortal and an immortal would interest many, as a Twilight inverse made in a cute way. Even Count Dracula gets his due, still not in the way he might have wanted; yet, works in the right manner. But, each and every second, you know what is going to happen, and there are no surprises in this one. If you are expecting something like Megamind, Monsters v/s Aliens, Finding Nemo or Kung Fu Panda, you are going to be disappointed. The attempt is still good, and I would wait for its sequel supposed to release on September 25, 2015 – lets see how much they can improve on this beginning. Adam Sandler voices Count Dracula and Selena Gomez is the daughter Mavis; that should add to the need for watching the movie.

Release date: 28th September 2012
Running time: 92 minutes
Directed by: Genndy Tartakovsky
Starring (voice): Adam Sandler, Selena Gomez, Andy Samberg, Kevin James, Fran Drescher, Steve Buscemi, Molly Shannon, David Spade, Cee Lo Green

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Go Goa Gone

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In this world touched by the vampires of the last century and dominated by the not-at-all scary pseudo-vampires powered by works like Twilight, zombies have been forced to take the back-seat. Some would say that it is deserving to be so, and that is al they need, but without solid proof. Still, it would not be wrong if one says that this is more of a racist prejudice against a species which is on its very first stages of understanding the new world after being dead and back as a new person with a little brain as big as a vampire fang. We had seen Zombieland, the 2009 zombie comedy movie making enough fun of the poor creatures of the grave who are just trying to listen to their basic instinct of survival, that is to feed. So, what happens is that instead of finding a flesh and blood substitute for them with the use of what is at their hands, the so called heroes just murder them, not always on self-defence, sometimes as a routine thing. In Zombieland, our heroes take an extended road trip across the United States in an attempt to find a place free from the zombies, and Go Goa Gone is also a trip, and it is another zombie comedy, thus starting a number of similarities there. They should end when they both get positive critical reviews and become good commercial success stories – our movie has to go a little more to be sure about it, but for now, and from what it seems to be, it is surely on its way to becoming a success by all means.

Zombies are typically depicted as mindless, re-animated corpses with a never-ceasing hunger for human flesh and at times for the flesh of a few other creatures, with a special liking for human brains which tastes more like fried rice, and with blood added to it, they have enough flavour. A vampire is basically a re-animated corpse that is believed to rise from the grave at night to suck the blood of the unsuspecting humans; this never-ceasing thirst for human blood and at times the blood of some other creatures, with a special liking for fresh blood of beautiful women which tastes more like strawberry shake with a blood topping. Forget the vampires of Twilight, as they don’t count – they are just mutated humans with superpowers which can only be maintained by drinking human blood; a case of just random parasites of the world. The zombies can trace their popularity to Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, while the vampires can trace theirs to Bram Stoker’s Dracula. It is basically John Polidori’s 1819 work, The Vampyre that got the vampire into the spotlight, while Mary Shelley’s 1818 work had already got the world’s first official zombie for the common man to understand. Did he eat human brains? No, but he did eat the brains of his own creator, and that is nothing less than cannibalism in an intellectual manner. Thanks to 28 Days Later and the never-ending series of Resident Evil movies and games, the zombies have finally found their address, in a different way, but not by losing their identity as in Twilight – not by choosing to sparkle rather than being what they really are.

It is known that they are both undead supernatural humanoids who hunts humans to please their instincts. In return, both are usually killed by burning or decapitating. They are both originally the creatures of the night and the undisputed rulers of the grave. The infection is spread and more of their kind is created by biting and infecting the wounds. They usually lack souls and are on the side of evil on a long scale which stretches from pure good to pure evil. zombies can walk in sunlight; vampires can only come out at night. But while zombies continue to decay and continues to lose their body parts, even as they won’t really mind it, vampires are preserved with their looks for eternity unless destroyed by an outside force. The zombies work solo even if they come in hordes – they don’t use nature, creatures or other fiends for help. The difference in looks and the food habits is evident. While zombies move slowly, vampires are incredibly fast. The violence in zombies is passive, but disheartening, as in vampires, it is active and still precise enough with the fangs on the neck of the victim. As zombies continue their mindless walk, vampires can use intellect as well as the superpowers, may be even shape-shift into animals like bats. Whatever is said, they are both still dead, but still moving, and they belong to the other side of the mirror, no matter how much Twilight try to make them assimilated.

Considering the movies like I am Legend and 30 Days of Night, there is surely a mixing of the two in history; forget Underworld‘s vampire-werewolf combination, this is more like that feasible undead combination. The origin through the death of the supreme evil men is one theory, but a virus infection seems to be more suitable to the age these days – zombies have been enslaved to this notion for more time than expected, while vampires also got themselves the scientific side with Daybreakers. Zombies are still scarier than vampires for the new age fans, as the latter have been portrayed in a romantic light not only in Twilight, but also in True Blood. Well, everybody needs their own dose of fear, and if vampires and witches can provide them no more, one has to turn to the zombies. There is always more than one side to horror; for more than it scares you, it rather prepares you for the worse which is to come. In the case of a horror comedy, it does the same without the problems of being that much scared. When Evil Dead didn’t release in India, it was a clear lose to the common horror fan. Whatever the reason might be, it is a clear case of absolute cruelty to a movie watcher to which many people should be answerable. Our movie is horror, comedy and the much needed experiment in this field for a movie industry which hasn’t really ventured to such a world before. Therefore, it is my privilege to welcome all of you into this world of zombies which is closer to the world of vampires than Twilight and True Blood.

The movie is the story of three friends, Hardik (Kunal Khemu), Luv (Vir Das), Bunny (Anand Tiwari). The first one needs a break from work, the second one a time away to deal with his break-up, and the third one has a presentation in Goa, which means that the first two accompany the third so that they can utilize all the facilities which are available to the more nerdy of the three as he goes for the presentation. In Goa, the whole scene takes a wrong turn when Luv meets the gorgeous Luna (Puja Gupta) in a violet bikini at the swimming pool and loses his broken heart once again. She introduces herself as one of his many facebook friends whom he rarely knew, and invites him for a special Russian party at an island not too far away. The party is hosted by a supposed-to-be-Russian guy named Boris (Saif Ali Khan) who is launching a special party drug, a prototype from Russia during this bash. The three friends have good time at the party. But what happens is that almost everyone on the island seems to turn into zombies on the very next day. Bunny even ends up telling a zombie girl to brush teeth before they meet up. As they slowly realize the hell that has come down on the island, Luv talks about saving Luna, to which Hardik replies that he will buy him a better Luna; the Kinetic Luna is always memorable isn’t it? They find Luna and are almost killed when Boris arrives in time to save them. Now, they have to survive, kill some dead people and get out of the island.

Kunal Khemu and Vir Das has complimented each other and has done a great job as the extremely lazy guys who argue so much about who will pick up the remote control andchange the television channel. They drink, smoke and run after girls with no interest in their works. They create the major part of fun in the movie, mostly with their lines. The third friend Bunny, played by Anand Tiwary, is just the opposite, as he is the nerd and he never gives an opinion otherwise. Saif Ali Khan steals the show from the moment he makes his first shot at a zombie. The Russian gangster is surely going to be a model for many characters in the future. He says “I kill dead people” and delivers. Along with the two friends in crime, he gets more of the better lines. He is an excellent zombie slayer and I hope he slays Twilight vampires too. Puja Gupta plays the gorgeous lady lead, and her arrival in the violet bikini marks the beginning of the twist, which would be complete on the very next morning. She transforms from the hot girl to the damsel in distress and then to the shotgun-murderer of the zombies by the end. She is undoubtedly a great addition to the beauty of Goa. Look out for the pool scene and when they take refuge in an abandoned house and try to figure out if one of them is really a zombie with question about Uganda and Mathematics. Go Goa Gone is undoubtedly a clever movie, and it is evident in the execution rather than everything else combined.

A week had the movie 3G as the big release, and here, two movies starting with alphabet G – 2Gs were the big releases from Bollywood, and this one would surely eclipse the other – after all, this movie has three Gs while the other has only one. Zombies would approve that it is reason enough for their success, running a full-time of 111-Nelson. The fun begins from the start itself, and it never ends; with the ending it has got, I would be looking forward to a sequel. This movie is what the Malayalam movie Kili Poyi could have been; with the heroes wandering around in Nee Ko Nja Cha style, the zombies add to the fun which is to be expected when the youth goes to Goa after a break-up and work-tension. Go Goa Gone is unlimited fun, and not your logically superior movie, but it still comes up with a strong message against the use of drugs. They have managed all of these and brought them together in such a manner that there is lots of blood and gore, and the zombie terror, still it is incredibly funny. The references to the movie Evil Dead, and the vampires and zombies of Hollywood just adds to the fun. Overall, it is non-stop entertainment without brains – for all the brains have been eaten by those zombies who are as hungry as any of the non-Twilight vampires a.k.a the real vampires.

Release date: 10th May 2013
Running time: 111 minutes
Directed by: Raj Nidimoru & Krishna D.K.
Starring: Saif Ali Khan, Puja Gupta, Kunal Khemu, Vir Das, Anand Tiwari

gogoagone copy

@ Cemetery Watch
✠The Vampire Bat.