Tag Archives: Danny Trejo

3 from Hell

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Vampire Owl: I wonder if the citizens of hell can be given asylum in our vampire territory.

Vampire Bat: I don’t think that they are really from hell, as in the inferno where the devil lives with his demons.

Vampire Owl: So, they are not from the place where people are fried for the evil stuff which they do on Earth.

Vampire Bat: They are exactly not from there – these people are human.

Vampire Owl: Humans from hell, and that wouldn’t make the devil happy.

Vampire Bat: These are earthlings who unleash hell on Earth.

Vampire Owl: Well, that does allow some justification for the vampire me.

Vampire Bat: You might know them from two movies full of violence, House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects.

Vampire Owl: I don’t remember those two movies at all.

Vampire Bat: Well, you will remember them again after watching this movie, as they are all too similar.

[Gets a vanilla cake and three cups of iced tea].

What is the movie about? :: A long time has passed since two young couples traveling and searching for weird urban legends of murder ended up as prisoners of a sadistic of serial killers, having their worst nightmare coming alive, with no hope for escape. The tale of unlimited terror, torture, and murder had continued on the road later, with the violent serial killers continuing the spree of brutality on their way, while being chased by the police who would do anything to bring the chaotic Firefly family down. Otis B Driftwood (Bill Moseley), Vera-Ellen Baby Firefly (Sheri Moon Zombie), and Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig) were trying to escape when they came across a police barricade, speeding toward it keeping on firing, as well as taking back the gunshots. The shootout was brutal, and the three a severely wounded, and taken to the hospital where they spend a number of days without consciousness, and later as part of further treatment.

So, what happens with the events here? :: The three gets better after the big shootout with the police, and are taken to the prison. They are to be tried for their crimes which includes murder, robbery, home invasion and many more, but the three doesn’t care at all. The trial is widely covered in the news channels, which brings them some fans. Some people even come up with the slogan “Free the Three”, depicting their crimes as a different and divergent way of fighting against the system. When the trial is over, two of them are sentenced to life in prison, while Captain Spaulding is executed through a lethal injection, much to the dismay of Otis and Baby, becoming depressed about a death for the first time in their life. Otis’ half-brother, Winslow Foxworth Coltrane (Richard Brake) who is better known as Foxy, tries to help Otis to escape from the prison while he is outside, and is working with the rest of the prisoners.

What follows this actions further in this tale of chaos and brutality? :: While trying to escape, Otis kills Rondo (Danny Trejo), who was also being imprisoned threre. Meanwhile, Baby who seeks parole is not granted the same, with her mental state getting worse, as she goes more psychotic in nature. Foxy, after rescuing Otis from the prison, begin planning to free Baby from prison too. For the same, the two enters the house of the prison’s warden, Virgil Dallas Harper (Jeff Daniel Phillips) and has him, his wife Judy Harper (Tracey Leigh) and her friend Abigail Duck (Christine Weatherup) going through a series of humiliation and torture, almost killing them, as Virgil finally agrees to bring Baby out of the prison in one way or the other. But the question remains if the clearly psychotic Baby will spare their lives as she would join with the two serial killers from the family, as she wants vengeance for Captain Spaulding. There is some chaos and brutality to be unleashed for sure.

The defence of 3 from Hell :: The movie continues what Rob Zombie has been doing in House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects, with all the violence with blood and gore found in almost every point. This one is more of slasher horror action thriller in that order regarding how things work around here. It will definitely appeal to the fans of the franchise, and there is one fine action sequence in the end. In between, there are moments which remind us of the psychotic mind of the main characters, and we see them going through a journey built on blood. This one with the other movies of the franchise could actually be called the movie of chaos, considering how they are dealing with the matter in hand. It is how Rob Zombie brings the variety, even though with a violent sadistic world being created, as these are the protagonists like no other, taking us into that escapist fantasy with has only death written on it.

The claws of flaw :: The movie is not for the people who don’t like this much blood and gore. It is not just limited to the same, but also to that sadistic cruelty which can’t be digested by all people. If you haven’t been following the Firefly franchise from the director, this will turn out to be not that interesting to go through. It is also surprising that they decided to go with the same cast, and even though is a good one, and the performances are pretty good as the psychotic family members, it had started to become repetitive with just Sheri Moon Zombie seemingly having more of madness in her to be unleashed. There is a lot of predictability running through this movie, and there is no extension of the activities of evil unlike what was expected, considering the fact that the franchise is now a trilogy. It also seems to repeat the same thing if there is a sequel to come sooner or later.

How it finishes :: 3 from Hell is not so different from House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil’s Rejects as you might have figured out, and the first movie had already evolved into a cult classic on which the next two movies have set their roots, which have been growing as well as evolving. But one would feel that it has been too long after the first and the second movie were released, and there are not many fans left for the franchise due to that long gap in between. This movie coming fourteen years after the second movie doesn’t have many of those hardcore followers left, as they might have changed their interests with such a long time period in between. Becoming fourteen year older can surely mean the change of interests. Yet, you can watch a very violent 3 from Hell after watching the other two similarly violent movies from the Firefly franchise, and see how you are going to stand the blood and gore. After all, what you see here is the basic nature of humanity which will descend into similar madness and love all the chaos in the absence of civilization.

Release date: 16th September 2019
Running time: 115 minutes
Directed by: Rob Zombie
Starring: Sheri Moon Zombie, Sid Haig, Bill Moseley, Richard Brake, Dee Wallace, Danny Trejo, Christine Weatherup, Flor de Maria Chahua, Daniel Roebuck, Jeff Daniel Phillips, Pancho Moler, Clint Howard, Emilio Rivera, Austin Stoker, David Ury, Richard Edson, Jackie S Garcia, Kevin Jackson, Wade Williams, Sean Whalen

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Acceleration

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Vampire Owl: How far can you accelerate here?

Vampire Bat: Well, the movie has a world of crime in it, and so, we can be sure that the acceleration will be related to action.

Vampire Owl: Do you think that such an acceleration will affect the plot negatively.

Vampire Bat: I am pretty sure that there will be just the usual plot.

Vampire Owl: They are not really into create a story to run beneath the action, or do they value it too?

Vampire Bat: I have read what the movie is about. It is nothing that you have heard about – we have only that tale without surprises.

Vampire Owl: So, this movie is to be watched only for the action sequences.

Vampire Bat: There could also be some thrilling moments in store.

Vampire Owl: Well, if it works with what it needs to, I have no real objection.

Vampire Bat: Let us see how it manages to work out.

[Gets a vegetable puffs and three cups of cardamom tea].

What is the movie about? :: Vladik Zorich (Dolph Lundgren) is one of the much feared and respected crime lords of Los Angeles. As he is double-crossed by his most trusted operative on crime, Rhona Zyocki (Natalie Burn), the man who runs many businesses including weapons, gambling, drugs and skin trafficking, decides to make her dance according to his songs. With no more risks possible in his current business, he kidnaps her only son, and with the little kid by his side, he gets the power to make her obey everything that he asks him to do, like a slave under command, the chain being attached to the child. As her son’s life is in his hands, Rhona struggles to obey Vladik’s orders, as she has to face some of the most twisted men and women in the business. But with her son’s life on the line, she will go through punches, kicks, gunshots and torture, with one goal in mind. Can Natalie do all the necessary things needed to keep her son alive, as Vladik has more plans for her? Will she and her son survive?

The defence of Acceleration :: The movie does have some nice action sequences, more related to shooting, and thanks to Natalie Burn being perfect in doing all that, Acceleration does manage to accelerate through its short run-time which is actually shorter due to the longer credit scenes, making it lasting about one hour and twenty minutes, losing another five minutes in the process. With such a low budget, they did manage to make this much, and has also managed to have some good performances from the main cast. The visuals are good too, as we look at the city which is coloured nicely in the night and with the darkness to set the mood for some action with much at stake. As the movie progresses you want to see more of Natalie on the screen, as sooner or later, this becomes all about her, the character on whom everything around here focuses on. You will have to watch it without thinking too much, and things will come together with progress.

The claws of flaw :: There are times when we feel that the writers were in a hurry to finish this movie. This is already a very short movie lasting less than one and half hours, and they don’t find it enough, as it seems from how this movie has been jumping from one scene to the other. There could have been better editing in place for sure. In the end, there is a rush, and at times, the protagonist has it easy – she beats up people easily, and escapes from bondage by herself, not really looking as if she ever had even a little trouble. You shouldn’t make things too easy in a movie like this, as the way she escapes here is just too silly, as the man who caught her and tied her up is a human trafficker and had intended to punish her hard in a way which she would remember throughout her like until she dies, but she just frees herself and simply stabs him after walking through his evil lair which is supposed to be so difficult to escape from. The movie’s twists are not interesting either – there were opportunities to add to it, but the movie doesn’t do so.

Performers of the soul :: The movie has Natalie Burn written all over it as far as performances are concerned, as she becomes the perfect action star with looks and style as much as the action sequences. With her looks, she is separated from the usual leading actress – she possesses that intensity that cannot be unmatched, and that is more or less due to her appearance, as she becomes someone we expect to beat people up, and maybe even shoot them nicely. But action surely is not her only skill, as Natalia Guslistaya, the Ukrainian model can do much more, without doubt. She was also seen in Mechanic: Resurrection, Expendables 3 and Criminal, all of them action thrillers, even though not in those main roles, and so there is a good chance that you might have missed her in those films. Dolph Lundgren was last seen in Aquaman in a significant role, and you can try finding him there, and the clue is that it is linked to Mera, the superhero’s lover underwater in the Kingdom of Atlantis. He is the one other actor worth mentioning, and the others just manage to play along at most of time.

How it finishes :: Acceleration is more or less the time-pass action movie which you can watch without spending much time thinking about. There is not much otherwise as far as this movie is concerned. There is enough in this movie to keep you interested as a crime action thriller. But escapism does get the advantage over the other things, and thus this movie is left with not much for the brain. It goes on the lines of many other action thrillers, but doesn’t use those elements of the genre to the best of advantage – but that might not have been needed considering the fact that this movie doesn’t try too hard. It lets everything go accordingly, because with Natalie Burn and Dolph Lundgren in the lead, an action thriller can go on as expected, without attempted to come with something grand. Acceleration accelerates just enough for you, and the escapist entertainment runs on that initial acceleration which is a little boosted at times.

[Gets some friench fries along with another cup of tea].

Vampire Owl: This movie could have been so much more.

Vampire Bat: Yes, they could have used the leading lady to more potential.

Vampire Owl: This is a movie which was not watched by many people, and so, not many people know about it.

Vampire Bat: She surely is perfect for an action movie, don’t you think?

Vampire Owl: Yes, but more as the lady villain rather than as the heroine.

Vampire Bat: There is no question about the fact that she looks quite lethal with the action sequences and more.

Vampire Owl: I never knew that Hollywood has such actresses custom made for such roles.

Vampire Bat: We didn’t know that there would be Corona Virus either.

Vampire Owl: There are so many things that we don’t know.

Vampire Bat: Well, knowledge doesn’t come with immortality. You have to read a lot to come up with that.

[Vanishes into the shadows behind the oak tree].

Release date: 8th November 2019
Running time: 85 minutes
Directed by: Michael Merino, Daniel Zirilli
Starring: Natalie Burn, Dolph Lundgren, Chuck Liddell, Sean Patrick Flanery, Danny Trejo, Dobromir Mashukov

<— Click here to go to the previous review.

<— Click here to go to the first Portuguese movie review on the site.

<— Click here to go to the first Italian movie review on the site.

<— Click here to go to the first Latin movie review on the site.

<— Click here to go to the first Polish movie review on the site.

<— Click here to go to the first Russian movie review on the site.

<— Click here to go to the first Serbian movie review on the site.

<— Click here to go to the first Russian movie review on the site.

<— Click here to go to the first Ukrainian movie review on the site.

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Storks

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Vampire Owl: Have you ever met the Vampire Stork?

Vampire Bat: What? There is no such thing as a Vampire Stork. It is not natural.

Vampire Owl: Well, a Vampire Panda is not natural, but we have one.

Vampire Bat: But we know that it is Kung Fu Panda in disguise.

Vampire Owl: Still, the Vampire Stork became a strange reality near Bermuda Triangle.

Vampire Bat: In that case, it could possibly be a Zombie Stork.

Vampire Owl: Well, the investigation teams are on their way.

Vampire Bat: What if the stork is to deliver a baby instead?

Vampire Owl: Storks don’t deliver babies!

Vampire Bat: Just watch the movie and find out!

[Gets three cups of lemon tea with 50-50 biscuits].

What is the movie about? :: It was quite natural for the storks of Stork Mountain to deliver babies to the families all around the world, and each one of them found extreme happiness in doing the same. They had delivered millions of babies to people until one stork named Jasper (Danny Trejo) attempted to keep a little baby girl for himself one day, which changed it all. The tracker which provided the location of the family to which the baby was to be delivered is lost, and Jasper goes away from there in shame and disgust. With no option left, the storks adopt the baby, and name the new orphan as Tulip (Katie Crown) who grows up within the company. The CEO of the company, Hunter (Kelsey Grammer) discontinued all baby delivery after that and replaced the same with package delivery going by the name Cornerstore.com. After doing the same, he has been focusing on the stocks only, and by being mean to everyone, made the firm a succesful company based on exploitation of its work force.

So, what happens next in the movie? :: Eighteen years after she was adopted, Tulip who is an adult now, is working with Cornerstore, and regularly messes up things. Hunter is not happy that Tulip keeps bringing the stocks down with whatever she s doing at the factory. As Hunter is the typical boss who doesn’t want to deal with the emotional side looking only for profits, he just wants to fire Tulip, and he assigns the task to Junior (Andy Samberg) who is to take his place after he becomes the chairman. Junior can’t get himself to fire the girl, and so he transfers her to the mail room which doesn’t really get any mail these days. While she spends all her time there alone, Junior hopes that he can finally get the promotion and be the boss to be in control of the operations.

And, what is to follow next in the animated adventure? :: At the same time, Nate Gardner (Anton Starkman) is a lone boy who is in need of some attention as his parents Henry Gardner (Ty Burrell) and Sarah Gardner (Jennifer Aniston) are always working, not even trying to spare five or ten minutes with their child. He sends a letter to the storks, hoping that he could get a baby brother to play with. This letter which reaches Cornerstone, has Tulip’s attention as she has the first letter in a long time. She immediately enters the baby factory and use the letter to make the baby-making machine work. The result is a pink-haired baby girl. Junior arrives at the machine to try and shut down the machine, and injures his wings. With him unable to fly after the injury to his wings, the two uses Tulip’s flying machine which she had invented to work while delivering for Cornerstone, and plans to get the baby home before anyone else finds out. But can they successfully do that?

The defence of Storks :: This movie might be the cutest that any animated flick can get, with babies as the centre of attraction. The kids are going to love this movie like no other, as the cuteness factor is at its best beginning from the birth of the first baby itself – then there are a lot of babies coming together in the end, and it is the explosion of cuteness on the screen, like happiness was for Trolls. Then the movie gets to another sweet level, and with its short run-time, never get go of that quality. Along with the same, there is a lot of fun in store here, along with the emotional side which tells us how important family is – spending time with children is that significant. The movie also talks about that cruel mindset of the corporate world, which is clearly against anything human or close to life. The profit-oriented society is killing so many families with all the focus on money-making, right? Well, loving humans is not that easy as loving money, isn’t it?

The claws of flaw :: One has to feel that Storks did rush through the proceedings, and everything happens rather too fast. We could have slowly and smoothly moved through all those sweet, cute moments, but this one was surely in a hurry – we also wanted to see more of the wolves and penguins in this flick; maybe there can be spin-offs. The basic idea about the storks might also be a little outdated, and the myth might also go over the head of more than one person or two. There is also the chance the main characters might feel irritating at times. One also wonders how cute the babies can remain, as the teenage fury seems to come and affect everyone a little too early these days; the age out of cuteness beginning too early too be exact, as we see in that Carnival Cinemas advertisement. We are also tend to wonder if this could have been even better on the lines of Moana, Zootopia, Frozen, Inside Out, Big Hero 6, Epic, Kung Fu Panda, How to Train Your Dragon, or such kind, with an even better story.

How it finishes :: Nicholas Stoller had directed a movie which is often considered among the worst movies which were appreciated by the US critics, The Neighbors, but Storks is that kind of a movie from him and Doug Sweetland that everybody will love to keep falling in love with, again and again. Well, have you seen this kind of cuteness for a long time? The animated movies usually take themselves as cute, and don’t include any extra cuteness, but not with Storks, which adds the cuteness as the secret, special ingredient. When this cuteness is guaranteed with entertainment, it is nothing less than a crime not to get your little ones here. A colourful movie is what is needed to get some colour into your life, and Storks might be the perfect flick to do that – you will love babies more for sure, after watching Storks. I have myself found myself more cuteness and love after this one.

Release date: 23rd September 2016
Running time: 87 minutes
Directed by: Nicholas Stoller, Doug Sweetland
Starring: Andy Samberg, Katie Crown, Kelsey Grammer, Jennifer Aniston, Ty Burrell, Keegan-Michael Key, Jordan Peele, Danny Trejo, Chris Smith, Awkwafina, Ike Barinholtz, Amanda Lund, Jorma Taccone

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.