Mortal Kombat

Vampire Owl: Do you remember us watching Mortal Kombat on VCR a long time ago?

Vampire Bat: Yes, a long time ago for humans, just a little bit earlier for us.

Vampire Owl: Yes, immortality has an effect on the perception of time.

Vampire Bat: Yet, those were the days when humans had tapes instead of CDs.

Vampire Owl: Mortal Kombat had also inspired many grand stage fights between vampires and werewolves.

Vampire Bat: Yes, thanks to our special powers, we won most of them against brutal strength.

Vampire Owl: Our battles were more or less immortal combats though.

Vampire Bat: Yes, immortality makes sure that death is near impossible.

Vampire Owl: Actually, having such tournaments are good options in our realms too.

Vampire Bat: Well, tournaments no longer have value among elders.

[Gets a red velvet cake and three cups of white tea].

What is the movie about? :: In Japan during the seventeenth century, a group of assassins ruthlessly attack a family, and their leader Bi-Han (Joe Taslim) murders everyone except for their child, who is taken by the God of Thunder Lord Raiden (Tadanobu Asano) to safety. Back to the present, the terrifying realm of Outworld has defeated Earthrealm in nine out of ten competitions of Mortal Kombat, and with one more victory, they could claim and rule Earth. The Outworld has never felt that they have come so close to gaining the ultimate victory. But, an ancient prophecy says otherwise, asserting that the blood of the family which fell centuries earlier could unite a new group of warriors who can defeat the fighters of Outworld. Aware of this, Shang Tsung (Chin Han) sends his warriors to make sure that there are no warriors left to fight them, and Bi-Han who is now known as Sub-Zero is assigned the job to find certain people who have a certain mark to identify them.

So, what happens with the events here? :: The identification mark happens to be a dragon tattoo which has been on these people for a long time. A former professional MMA fighter called Cole Young (Lewis Tan) has such a mark, and a person named Jax (Mehcad Brooks) meets him and his family who are attached by Sub-Zero. Jax fights valiantly, but losses his arms to Sub-Zero’s cold, and is considered dead by the Outworld. Another person who is on the hunt is Mileena (Sisi Stringer) who wants Earth to be captured at any cost. Outworld is ready to break all the rules to make sure that they win this last battle. Cole searches for a woman named Sonya Blade (Jessica McNamee) to whom Jax had pointed much earlier, and upon discovering her, he learns about something sinister which has been going on in the background. She talks about Mortal Kombat, which might be a reality soon, and assures him that they have been chosen to fight for Earth against some unknown species from another world. But that might not be all.

The defence of Mortal Kombat :: This film is nothing less than a return to nostalgia, not just as the adaptation of a game which we have been playing so much from the early days of Windows, as it also contributes as the reminder of that movie which came to the cassette shops, and had us cheering for each action move on display. Well, this film is not that much far away from what we had seen then, as far as action sequences are concerned – we also have the superior computer graphics and with the better cameras, we have some visual grandeur on the screen as expected; a case of higher quality return of childhood as we look at it. The locations are nicely shaped using the special effects. The final battle with Scorpion and Sub-Zero around brings some quality final moments. We can consider this as a beginning, and hope to see more of the fights, with some real tournaments happening in different worlds. The origins of the new age adaptation has been set well, and with one fine sequel, the level of the whole thing could be raised.

The claws of flaw :: There is no doubt about that fact that Mortal Kombat could have been better, especially with so many of options being available. There are so many characters in the game who could have been taken into this film, but only a few were used. Some of the very interesting characters are also killed too early. The individual battles could have actually lasted much more, and some special and unexpected moves could have been added around here. A little bit more of attention could be taken in the clothes of the characters too, and they could have stayed close to how they were in the game. GI Joe had also experienced similar problems, but that franchise never really had this much of variety and worlds to be displayed on the screen with grandeur. It is a shame that some of the battles finish too easily, when we know that there are so much to be done with fighters keeping on battling each other without holding back. You could have always added some game elements according to the requirements.

Performers of the soul :: Lewis Tan as Cole Young leads the way well, even though Jessica McNamee playing Sonya Blade seems to be the real leader around here throughout the first half of the film, as she nicely suits the role so well. Bridgette Wilson would still be the perfect Sonya, as we are all fans of that older version and go on to miss Kitana and Johnny Cage characters for now. Mehcad Brooks as Jax is another determined character who keeps his moments, and Josh Lawson as Kano adds to the same from the other side. The best looks still goes to Mel Jarnson playing Nitara, even though she is there for only a short period of time. We would have loved to see more of her around here, as the winged creature is a thing of Gothic beauty rather than anything else. Sisi Stringer as Mileena brings a side of horror very well. Joe Taslim as Sub-Zero makes the right antagonist, and the ice-filled moments of action are joy to watch. Chin Han and Tadanobu Asano leaves us something to look out for with another possible movie based on the same video game series. Ludi Lin and Max Huang are good additions as the trained warriors too.

How it finishes :: Mortal Kombat does have some special place in our hearts, as it was one of those earlier games which we played and continued to enjoy for a long time. Among these games, it was Mortal Kombat 4 which had our best attention, as it had high graphics requirements, and we actually had to go somewhere else to play the game. The characters of Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Quan-Chi and Raiden were among the favourites then, and it was only later that characters like Mileena were of interest. Among the games, this one does have a legendary status, even though just like the other game adaptations including Need for Speed, Hitman, Prince of Persia, Tomb Raider, Warcraft, Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Doom, Blood Rayne, Max Payne, Assassin’s Creed and many others, this one also failed to gather much of critical appreciation. Yes, Resident Evil has grossed so much that nobody can question that particular franchise, but we know that adaptations require more.

Release date: 23rd April 2021 (USA), 11th September 2021 (Amazon)
Running time: 113 minutes
Directed by: Simon McQuoid
Starring: Lewis Tan, Jessica McNamee, Josh Lawson, Tadanobu Asano, Mehcad Brooks, Ludi Lin, Chin Han, Joe Taslim, Hiroyuki Sanada, Matilda Kimber, Laura Brent, Sisi Stringer, Mel Jarnson, Nathan Jones, Daniel Nelson, Angus Sampson, Damon Herriman

<— Click here to go to the previous review.

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Godzilla II

What is the movie about? :: Five years have passed after the incidents of the 2014 movie. Godzilla had defeated the creatures mentioned as MUTO (Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organism), saving Earth’s cities and making its way back to the ocean – the questions about a monster saving the city were going to be there as always, and still there is no clear indication of a future co-existence in peace between the two species. Meanwhile at present, Emma Russell (Vera Farmiga) works for an organization called Monarch which is tracking, studying and trying to understand Titans, the almost immortal giant monsters which had dominated Earth millions of years ago. Along with her daughter Madison Russell (Millie Bobby Brown),she is kidnapped by Colonel Alan Jonah (Charles Dance) while witnessing the birth of a giant larva which is to become a Titan later, named Mothra.

So, what happens with the events to follow? :: Ishiro Serizawa (Ken Watanabe) and other from Monarch approach Dr Mark Russel (Kyle Chandler), Emma’s ex-husband so that they can find her and find a device, the ORCA developed by her, which is capable of talking through frequencies that only Titans can hear. It is revealed that Emma and Jonah intend to free a Titan locked in ice codenamed Monster Zero. Monarch, despite chasing them all the way to an outpost in Antartica, is unable to defeat Jonah, while Emma frees and awakens Monster Zero, a three headed monster with wings and running electrical currents through its body. Releasing lightning from its body and traveling inside hurricane created by itself, the monster goes on to try and become the apex predator, while Godzilla feels the effect of a bio-chemical weapon, going into hibernation only to awaken many years later.

And what more is to happen? :: But now the situation demands the presence of Godzilla. Monster Zero is revealed to be Ghidorah, an ancient alien known to have fallen from the stars, one who has been Godzilla’s primary rival for the position of apex predator. As a creature out of this world, the weapons seems ineffective against it, while the monsters destroy different cities in different parts of the world, controlled by their new king. Godzilla needs all the radioactivity to rise from its chamber located past different wormholes under the ocean, and it is up to humans to take it there and awaken the monster before Ghidorah lays waste to the whole world with his newly found minion creatures. Now the question remains if they can do it in time, and if Godzilla can reclaim its position as the king of the monsters against this alien monster which keeps on evolving.

The defence of Godzilla: King of the Monsters :: There are some nicely made action sequences in the movie, with the giant monsters fighting each other. They fill the screen, and we see those moments of glorious action that takes place. Each monster would seem to have something special that keeps them apart. The same brings us destruction like never before, as we notice that not much of the world is left – the visuals of the world are nice to watch, and the creatures are also nicely created. The myth is nicely created with the monsters being the real owners of this world, and humans just living in here because they are allowed to do so – the creatures becomes nature’s natural defence system against the pollution that is present. Godzilla is referred to as one among the first gods worshiped by humans, and it goes deep like Prometheus and Alien: Covenant did when it talks about the distant past history, for some time. We see this mythology seemingly up for even more.

The claws of flaw :: A lot of repetition from the first movie can be seen here too. Once again, there is the need for Godzilla to save the world, and the early doubts continue to be there until the humans once again decide that it has to be left to the monster except for a little help from mankind. The pattern repeats without remorse, even with more creatures being added to the scene – Godzilla always makes a comeback, and it is up to him to make sure that the balance is maintained. The characters are not that developed, and we don’t really feel anything for them – they never seem to be important, and the need for focusing on them is never felt; Pacific Rim was closer to the humans despite being a monster movie. Some part in the beginning could have also been shortened to make the movie stop at two hours; if humans can’t be interesting, what we can do is to cut a few of them and their moments.

The performers of the soul :: The performances here are dependent on the CGI monsters rather than humans who are restricted, with not much of interesting stories, and with less to do. The way in which the monsters are designed and are depicted in action will always have the best of applause. Among the humans, it is Ken Watanabe who steals the show, as he brings the words of wisdom regarding having faith in Godzilla. Kyle Chandler and Vera Farmiga are caught in a forgettable, predictable story of another family in trouble as if we have not had enough of such tales told in an uninteresting manner. Millie Bobby Brown does have her moments to keep her as someone to look out for the future though. Charles Dance as Alan Jonah makes a strong villain, but we never really get the focus on him, with all these monsters around – as the three-headed dragon-like monster becomes the primary antagonist, he is not there to be seen much, but we expect more from him in any of the upcoming sequels.

How it finishes :: As the holidays come to an end for schools and colleges in this part of the world, and with the final weekend before classes begin, children and youth would love to watch this grand monster effect on the big screen. This can serve as the last moments of escapism before that reality of studies is brought to them – Pacific Rim would agree. Godzilla is all set to go to that place which you saw in Kong: Skull Island and battle King Kong in the next movie, and before that you will feel the need to watch that movie with the giant ape as well as the two Godzilla movies. With the destruction of environment, there seems to be a hidden message about how nature comes up with its own defence system – the three-headed dragon-like monster becoming part of a hurricane only powers it, as does Godzilla being revived by nuclear weapons. The same as a fine addition to a high action monster movie.

Release date: 31st May 2019
Running time: 132 minutes
Directed by: Michael Dougherty
Starring: Kyle Chandler, Vera Farmiga, Millie Bobby Brown, Bradley Whitford, Sally Hawkins, Charles Dance, Thomas Middleditch, Aisha Hinds, O’Shea Jackson Jr, David Strathairn, Ken Watanabe, Zhang Ziyi

<— Click here to go to the previous review.

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Seventh Son

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Vampire Owl :: Why the seventh son? I mean who has seven sons these days, or even seven children in total?

Vampire Bat :: Nobody of this generation that I know.

Vampire Owl :: So, should we declare this movie invalid?

Vampire Bat :: After looking at the posters, I have the doubt if the effect of this one might be nullified soon enough.

Vampire Owl :: There is dragon, witch, people with swords, a dark feel – a lot should be there though.

Vampire Bat :: Yes, reminds of too many movies which released already.

Vampire Owl :: So, it is a yes or no?

Vampire Bat :: It is a yes. May be it is the seventh son who always saves the world. Almost nobody has seven sons these days, and so the world is not saved yet.

Vampire Owl :: I hope that watching this movie is not against the “We two, our two” campaign.

Vampire Bat :: Most of the people I know have only one child. So lets welcome the seventh son.

[Gets the tickets].

What is it about? :: John Gregory (Jeff Bridges) is one of the last of his kind, as a rare seventh son of a seventh son, and part of an ancient order of knights who battle the evil that exists in this world. His last apprentice dies while trying to capture the most demonic of all witches, the queen of them all, Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore) who returned to cast her shadow of evil all over the known lands. So he comes to Tom Ward (Ben Barnes) who is also the seventh son of a family. Tom is plagued by visions and also falls in love with a witch called Alice Deane (Alicia Vikander) which makes things further complicated. Her mother is also the sister of Malkin, which trouble the plans further. With the Blood Moon night fast approaching and witches getting more powerful, can the new apprentice be ready in such a short notice and having love around the corner?

The defence of Seventh Son :: The movie is loaded with stylish and beautiful visuals and thrives on the power of special effects with some nice moments of 3D mostly including dragons and witches. The visual splendour which was there on the poster comes alive. The environment is also nicely created, and the images as well as the backgrounds that are shown on the screen are sure to catch one’s attention. There are some nice custumes, and among the scenes, the best includes those which uses special effects. The first possession scene was very good otherwise too. All the fighting scenes are worthy of our attention. The final battle is nicely brought to the screen, and the setting for the same makes sure that the artistic beauty is maintained. There are lots of creatures, and magic is in abundance. For those who are missing such things as The Hobbit as well as Harry Potter, this is another chance to go into that world of magic.

The Claws of Flaw :: The movie is that experience which reminds us about so many other movies. There seemed to be nothing new in the story with an unlikely young hero managing to be a great fighter, but even that is not nicely shown. The characters and the supernatural stuff are here and there, with not much work done with them – we can’t have much thoughts about them as they are just everywhere without making us feel much about them. The romance as well as the revenge struggles to go ahead in the intended manner. The first half mostly drags while getting almost nowhere, even as things get better later. The idea of “Seventh son of a seventh son” is not explored enough, with things just made to exist as they are. The dialogues mostly don’t make the desired impact. There is no justice to what it has in the pocket, on what is shown on the screen.

Performers of the soul :: Performances haven’t been a strong point of this movie, as Jeff Bridges, even when making an impression at times, makes less impact than expected. There are many things having our attention in this movie, but the performances are not part of them. Julianne Moore also looks faded except for a few moments. A thought about Charlize Theron in Snow White and the Huntsman might have inspired that further thought; or may be even a little bit of Angelina Jolie being in Maleficent. Ben Barnes remains okay throughout the flick. Alicia Vikander play the lovable witch in a believable manner, and she surely looks suitable for that role which needs both the cuteness and a certain amount of the other darker side. But the creatures do overpower all of them, and that was not something unexpected.

Soul exploration :: Seventh Son has too many similarities with a number of movies, and the first one that comes to mind is Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, which had two witch-hunting protagonists with one good witch as the lover. There is also a little bit of Season of the Witch here with the possession and the skills of the protagonists. The lady villain here is more or less a reminder of Maleficent or Snow White and the Huntsman, and so even as it is based on a book which came up earlier, this one came too late to catch the interest of common movie goer. But for the rest of those viewers who are not used to such stuff can find them to be very interesting. After all, the movie comes after making the fans wait so much with the delays. We have been hearing about this one for such a long time, and it has been a painful wait with Seventh Son.

How it finishes :: The Spook’s Apprentice by Joseph Delaney is the book on which the movie is based on, and the fans of the book may not be happy with the reception for this much awaited movie. The challenges of the week are from bigger movies, but none an entertainer like this, and that explains the large number of shows this one has, and those theatres and multiplexes which has this movie as the only Hollywood flick of the weekend. But still, it seems that the general audience of this part of the world hasn’t been able to connect with this movie, while it should be just okay for the rest. With Foxcatcher not being here, and with the rest finding trouble to have enough shows, this movie should get some good collection from this part of the world – after all, it is the only Hollywood movie available at almost every mall.

Release date: 30th January 2015 (India); 6th February 2015 (USA)
Running time: 103 minutes
Directed by: Sergei Bodrov
Starring: Julianne Moore, Jeff Bridges, Alicia Vikander, Ben Barnes, Kit Harington, Olivia Williams, Antje Traue, Djimon Hounsou

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

The Hobbit II

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On The Hobbit :: In the first installment of a three-part film prequel series based on the 1937 novel The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien called An Unexpected Journey, we saw thirteen dwarves accompanied by one wizard and a hobbit, going on a mission to reclaim the dwarf lands which was earlier claimed by a fire-breathing dragon, Smaug. It was then that our hobbit had attained possession of a ring from Gollum which will make a difference in many ways later. The film had ended with a vision of the Lonely mountain with the dragon, and the creature opening its eyes. This movie has released almost exactly an year after the first movie released, and the third movie There and Back Again will be there on December 17th, 2014. It would have been even better if Guillermo del Toro was more involved with the movie, and it was his vision that was there, but even now, this movie is incredibly strong, and one would wonder if how different this would have been if he was in charge – may be something which was so different that one has to wonder so much? Who knows?

What is it about? :: After taking refuge from the orcs at the home of a skin-changer, the team of fifteen splits up as Gandalf the Grey (Ian McKellen) who separates from them with a promise to meet them before they reach their destination. After fighting giant spiders, they are caught by the wood-elves from where the escape hidden in empty wine barrels. Bilbo Baggins’ (Martin Freeman) invisibility ring helps in both cases. Meanwhile, Gandalf fights a legion of orcs as well as an entity known as the Necromancer. They are later helped by a human bowman Bard (Luke Evans) and later receives a great send-off when the talk about the riches come into play. But the orcs are after them, and so are two elves, Legolas and Tauriel who have more obvious reasons. With Gandalf missing, the fourteen are on their own in their battle against the dragon, and the questions remain about how they would get inside the mountain, how will they get the Arkenstone which is needed to rule, and how they will slay, defeat or at least survive from the dragon if they could. Another interesting question might be about who all will survive, with a dragon, an evil necromancer and lots of orcs involved.

The defence of The Hobbit II :: Talking about The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, this is exactly what I had expected from this movie, and the movie has provided me with exactly what I was expecting. The fans of the book might disagree, but I haven’t read it and the whole movie remains a spectacle for me. The movie is an improvement from the previous one of the series, and it is a huge improvement as the action sequences and special effects are considered – may be I am a little prejudiced with this point as I watched the first movie on television in Sony Pix and this one in a multiplex in 3D, first day third show. But you can’t deny the strength of action sequences here, especially with the team’s barrel run chased by the orcs who are chased by the elves, and then when Legolas is involved. The dragon is also well-designed and it is an interesting character with its fire breath adding to the special effects more burning beauty. The spiders, the web and the forest remains another area which makes the whole thing interesting. One can actually take time to talk about almost every character out there, but I would rather not do the same.

Positives and Negatives :: We know the dragon is an impressive creature here, and so are all the creatures of different races, but there is one thing that doesn’t stand that good, it is the female elf Tauriel who seems to do nothing interesting other than create a bad love triangle. But we can still think that she never existed as the dwarf whom she healed was treated by other dwarves or humans. But the character is awesome in the action sequences, so may be she can be of interest in the next movie as long as the significance of that unnecessary love triangle will become less. As a character who is not in the book, I would think that she won’t be liked by the book fans. The movie is very long, but there is no dull moment in it, so just take that length negativity out of the equation. May be some people don’t like journeys like this, but obviously this was what one was supposed to expect, and the ending is quick, but better executed than The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, and gives people more interest in going for the third movie which is surely going to be heavily packed with action. The 3D is fine and even excellent at times, nothing spectacular considering the overall quality of the movie, but I wasn’t looking for that in this movie.

Performers of the soul :: As the movie gets into action very early unlike The Hunger Games: Catching Fire which takes an eternity, our people are also prepared. Martin Freeman steals the show, and Ian McKellen comes as the big tree which holds things together. Richard Armitage’s dwarf king gets better, and Luke Evans’ presence is something which will be strong only by fulfilling his character’s destiny in the next movie if it is indeed the fate. Orlando Bloom is the ultimate action hero of the movie, and the number of claps he received in the theatre can’t be counted. The movie needed the character from Lord of the Rings, even as I hear people say that he is not The Hobbit character. He is more an archer magician right there making most of his screen presence. Despite Evangeline Lilly’s nice portrayal of her character, it is an avoidable she-elf – otherwise she is good and excellent in the action sequences. Well, elves are crowd favourites! Aidan Turner is equally detestable for that love triangle even as one has to like the way he has performed. Lee Pace makes a fine elf king, while the other dwarves work as good as they did in the first movie. Above all, love Benedict Cumberbatch’s fire-breathing red dragon, for that one rules.

Soul exploration :: The movie deals with the courage of a hobbit yet again, as despite his weaknesses and the lack of abilities, he joins the dwarf warriors, and continues his journey here. He is more heroic than he was in the first movie and even saves the dwarves from being eaten by giant spiders as well as being eternally imprisoned in the elf prisons – he even talks to the dragon face to face, and there is the courage that he has found, along with the ring. Meanwhile, Bard has to accomplish his destiny or rather fail in it, leaving a question mark for the final movie of the series. Elves, hobbits, dwarves, goblins, orcs, trolls and humans – they have all been in the series, and except for goblins and trolls, the rest make an impact in this movie too. The human neutrality is evident, and so is the orc alignment towards pure evil. The dwarves and hobbits remain more on the good side a little more than neutral, and the elves are good in their own way. But when we look at the ideals of the three – dwarves, elves and hobbits, they are different with variable views on each other, and if given a choice, I would think that most would chose the elves, and so would I. This racial difference is an incredible thing, and I have loved this variety in creatures since playing Age of Wonders.

How it finishes :: I would sincerly hope that all who are praising the special effects and CGI of some of the worst movies of the year, to watch this one (Krrish 3 fans can look at Dhoom 3 when it releases if waiting for an opponent of equal platform). The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug is one of the best movies of the year and also a visual treat which entertains with its witty dialogues, incredible action sequences and a flurry of special effects. It indeed makes The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey feel that it could have been a better movie. Peter Jackson has indeed created the right hobbit movie which will surely make me choose Halflings as the race the next time I play Age of Wonders: Shadow Magic – something which I had given up in favour of the Draconians and the Undead. Meanwhile, I hope you all had a great Friday the 13th. It is the favourite day (and night) of the Vampire Bat, and on this occasion, he has decided to go lenient on his ratings, but The Hobbit II actually deserves it. Still, the one year wait for the third movie is going to be so depressing!

Release date: 13th December 2013
Running time: 161 minutes
Directed by: Peter Jackson
Starring: Martin Freeman, Orlando Bloom, Evangeline Lilly, Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage, Benedict Cumberbatch, Lee Pace, Luke Evans, Ken Stott, James Nesbitt

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠The Vampire Bat.

The Hobbit

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✠ This shall be the second review that features the major excerpts from the fictional interview with Count Dracula by the Vampire Bat during the last unreal full moon night. Any relation to any person living, dead, undead, going to die, half-dead, partially alive or those is not intentional, and if you are looking for an original review of serious nature, do not read. To add to it, I once again add that no vampires, werewolves, zombies, demons, monsters or aliens (both Avatar blue and general green) were harmed while this interview was going on. These are one of those movies about which Count Dracula should surely have a say considering its nature. The format of my earlier review of Hotel Transylvania (https://moviesofthesoul.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/hotel-transylvania/) is to be used here, but as the world has changed, both the Vampire Bat, Count Dracula and the nature of the dialogues between them are prone to undergo some changes. They are still brethren, and of the same race which have blood shake quite often.

Count Dracula: Welcome, brother bat. Its been a long time. I am still suffering from the effects of Twin-date, New Moan, Ellipsis and Breaking Teeth with a constant fear of a Midnight Bun which might release some day. Every time I think about those books and movies, I feel so weakened and depressed that I want to go and watch that recently released Bollywood movie Besharam and throw myself from the top of a cliff. It is a sad thing that I can fly and I might never reach the ground, otherwise it would have been an awesome idea.

Vampire Bat: I can see that you have gotten better as the Twilight movie series has ended. Your kind do have a small role to play in Mortal Instruments: City of Bones, and it is a pathetic depiction for sure, but as the story itself is so bad, and there are too many creatures taken right out of nonsense, you might not be affected by that.

Count Dracula: Don’t talk about that, for it burns so much – just the name of that series itself. I was in good terms with the Shadow Demons until this series of novels came into existence. Now they won’t talk to me because orcs and goblins are laughing at them after watching the movie and reading the novels, and the demonic version is that it is my dirty plot against them to create a future unholy alliance with humanity.

Vampire Bat: I had to watch that movie City of Bones. Most of the people in the theatre wanted to get out and run for their lives, but just because the AC was good and most of them had already ordered food, they stayed. The others just wanted to make efficient use of their tickets and the rest just wanted to see the lovely Lily Collins. Did you just talk about orcs and goblins? That reminds me of something; even as this was actually supposed to be a secret talk about the Mortal Instruments: City of Bones which was not to come to light, why can’t this be a discussion about The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, one of the best movies of the year 2012, even as I know that you find The Cabin in the Woods as the best of them all? Then, I can also publish this review rather than just keep it for further reference.

Count Dracula: I know why you are changing the topic. With The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug right around the corner, you wish to write about this movie so that you can remember that movie which you watched last year, and be prepared for this upcoming sequel. You can also make sure that you have written about the first movie before getting into this sequel, the same reason why you wrote about The Hunger Games earlier. I am such a bloody genius with awesome fangs, right?

Vampire Bat: That should be partially right. I watched The Hobbit just a few days ago in Sony Pix, as I missed it in the theatres due to reasons that I can’t remember. I had to miss a few parts of the movie due to frequent power cuts and some disturbing phone calls, and therefore I would like your help to fill the empty spaces; even if you use some random thing there, that should be okay.

Count Dracula: It doesn’t make any sense that you are asking me about this movie, as I am repelled by the existence of orcs, dwarves, hobbits (halflings), goblins, elves and dragons. But I have to tell you something, this is surely one of my favourite movies of the year too, and therefore you can add it to the list of Dracs Certified, or Certified by Dracula list. That shall give no credit to any non-vampire mythical creature though.

Vampire Bat: Talking about the non-mythical involvement, I was interested about the involvement of Guillermo del Toro, even as he didn’t direct the movie as planned. It was still great the same person who directed The Lord of the Rings trilogy had come back. But the fact remains that I can’t remember much about that series, as I watched it so long ago, at a time when I was less interested in English movies and I cared not much. But as I recollect them in parts and after I watched the second part of The Hobbit, I shall go and watch that much critically acclaimed and financial successful trilogy again.

Count Dracula: You have to watch them, for sure. I have always loved the types of mythical creatures in the series, and I know you can connect them with Age of Wonders, especially with the availables races in that game which includes Halflings (Hobbits) Orcs, Goblins, Elves, Humans, Dwarves and a lot more along with those dragon units and magical creatures. I would have loved to play that game, but I have no computer with me right now. I used to have a magical device which supports more realistic games which includes vampires drinking the blood of evil humans, but I am a little low in magic right now, and has to replenish it during the next time the Dark Elf merchants pass through this way.

Vampire Bat: The creatures are the major reason why I love the series, and The Hobbit is no different. It has our own gollum along with the goblins, orcs, dwarves, elves and of course the humans and our great little hobbit. I was actually quite suprised about Bilbo Baggins going on a dangerous journey with the great wizard Gandalf and thirteen dwarves, led by their king Thorin Oakenshield to reclaim the lost dwarf kingdom of Erebor, and its riches from a fire-breathing dragon. Actually it is a pleasant surprise, as the underdog gets another chance, and this time with the little fighters who are almost same as his size, but different in attitude and bravery plus ability to combat.

Count Dracula: I like that hobbit, much more than I like the guy in The Lord of the Rings. I got a feeling that I am going to love Smaug the dragon too, when the sequel comes. The orcs and goblins are pretty awesome too. It is just sad that so many of them got killed. I remember going to a goblin market to buy some mechanical devices and to the orc armouries to buy some defence for my castle. I liked their depiction though, and their nature is also rightly shown, in my opinion.

Vampire Bat: I would agree to what you said last. But I have to say that the major reason I like this one is because the whole thing is so clear. There are no ambiguities in the story or in the screen. The visuals are so beautiful and crystal clear. I can’t remember seeing such a visually magnificent movie for such a long time. I am quite sad that I missed it on the big screen. It was surely a great honour for my television, as the whole thing looked so good on it, not a usual thing for my normal LED TV and the local cable tv network. Glory be to its visual effects, make-up and the twin feelings of light and dark which the movie managed to portray.

Count Dracula: I am more in support of its darker side, as I feel that the lighter side was meant to keep the dark world within control, as they always do. It is the same thing that they try in my case too, for most of these human audience are not prepared to face all these darkness at once, especially the kind of people whom they target with this type of movies. So, such combination was a must, and they have done well in combining both.

Vampire Bat: We can do nothing other than admire J.R.R. Tolkien for what he has provided us with, unlike what kind of teenage nonsense which has taken over the literature and movie world these days. May be I should write some fiction myself; well I do write something, and it is still fair nonsense. I love this world which the man has created. There is so much in it, not only to see for its visual beauty, but also a lot to think about. We are all hobbits or halflings in this world run by the so called influential people of the higher race, I guess. Therefore, we are all both Frodo and Bilbo in one.

Count Dracula: Except for me, as I am rather that orc person living in an elvish world with my inherent undead qualities, and thus rather a kind of Undead Dark Elf rather than a Wood Elf or a High Elf. But as we consider The Hobbit, I suggest you heavily recommend it.

Vampire Bat: I shall do the same and have to watch it many more times in my immortal hours, Count. Now, it is the time to go home and have that cup of tea, and therefore until we collide on a hunt again, good bye, Count.

Count Dracula: Good bye, best of my winged brethren; for now.

Vampire Bat (to himself): It might have been sad for such a legendary Gothic horror character to live through something like Twilight, but The Hobbit is one of those movies which can cheer him up. He has that opportunity to remember those beautiful days of magic and sorcery and the telepathic connections to the mythical world before science took over and branded all of them as vague imaginations, thus ending the connection. The Hobbit is for all vampires and good humans, that is for sure.

✠ There a few things which are to be kept in mind while going for this movie. It has great visual imagery, and the way in which each person of different races is detailed needs special mention, especially the dwarves. As the beauty of worlds are considered, the elf world stays incredibly beautiful. The collision of the worlds of light and darkness, and the assertion of faith exists with strength in this movie. It can also be considered a fable for the modern world and its life, as a group goes to claim glory, or rather try to get back their nostalgia, whichever is more applicable. So do they go and steal the gold or do they claim what is rightfully theres? Such remains the moral questions of the movie. Yes, I am looking forward to the sequels, The Desolation of Smaug (2013) and There and Back Again (2014). There would still be the question if these movies can stand the horrible weight of expectations, or will those strengthen the movie to such a huge extent that there is awesomeness. I do wish that Guillermo del Toro comes back for the final movie, even if that would make revolutionary changes in the movie making that last one entirely different from the rest.

Release date: 14th December 2012
Running time: 169 minutes
Directed by: Peter Jackson
Starring: Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage, James Nesbitt, Ken Stott, Cate Blanchett, Ian Holm,Christopher Lee, Hugo Weaving, Elijah Wood, Graham McTavish, Manu Bennett, Barry Humphries, Sylvester McCoy, Lee Pace, Benedict Cumberbatch, Andy Serkis

thehobbit copy

@ Cemetery Watch
✠The Vampire Bat.