Miss Peregrine’s Home

missperegrineshome

Vampire Owl: I once knew a tooth fairy by this name. It was when I was having the best of times.

Vampire Bat: Oh! I thought you only knew witches during those days.

Vampire Owl: Stop being judgmental. She was a nice tooth fairy. She even dealt in fangs.

Vampire Bat: Okay, and then what happened?

Vampire Owl: She died and I embraced the fact that I was immortal. I really felt my eternity.

Vampire Bat: It could have been most romantic tale that I have ever heard, if I never knew how to read.

Vampire Owl: You just have no empathy. Even my zombie minions clapped to my story. It is a long one, and I can let you hear it if you provide me with one hundred and thirty four days.

Vampire Bat: No, thanks. Why don’t you write a book instead?

Vampire Owl: I don’t write anymore. I spread ideas through telepathy.

Vampire Bat: Yes, I can see your ideas taking over the world from a very long distance.

[Gets three cups of masala tea with tapioca chips].

What is the movie about? :: Jake (Asa Butterfield) has grown up listening to the tales which his grandfather Abe Portman (Terence Stamp) has told him about battling monsters along with fighting the World War II. The centre of attraction in all of these stories is Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, which has Miss Alma Peregrine (Eva Green) as the headmistress, and the place has children with some amazing abilities, and are called peculiars. Each of these special abilities make them what they are, and this headmistress herself is more than what meets the eye. His parents are not that fond of these strange, folk-tale kind of stuff that Abe is feeding his grandson, and wishes that they could stick to the usual things. But things are not that easy as they seem to be.

So, what happens next? :: One day, he gets a call from his grandfather and later finds him with his eyes missing. Before he dies, he leaves Jake with some clues to what he is to do, and there is also a monster there, which disappears. Left clueless about what he is to do next, the psychatrist tells them to go to this particular place mentioned by Abe, and it is the only thing that can make him believe that it is all fiction, with stories made up by the old man every day. So, accompanied by his father, Jake travels to Cairnholm and finds that the children’s home mentioned by his grandfather was destroyed during a Nazi air raid on September third, 1943. But he is surprised to find a number of children there, who seems to be more than just normal. They invite him to their secret place.

So, how do things go from here? :: There he meets Miss Peregrine who explains to him that she can manipulate time and belongs to a special class of peculiars called ymbrynes. To live in peace, she has created a time loop which repeats all over again and again on the third of September, 1943 just before the bomb falls on their building. As they keep living the same day again and again, none of them ages either. There he understands that a team of monsters called Hollows, lead by Mr. Barron (Samuel L. Jackson) hunt Peculiars to devour their eyeballs hoping to gain immortality in the process. With these people on the hunt for more peculiars and waiting to enter the loops, can Jake save the day, and also save his new found love interest, the aerokinetic Emma Bloom (Ella Purnell)?

The defence of Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children :: The movie is undoubtedly something that looks very good on the screen – the setting, the costumes and the special effects; they all look impressive. The pace gets better, and by the time it reaches the end, we are very much into one loop or two. The movie has a good mix of things, and never really gets lost in what it has to provide us – and it has been done in style. Among all the cast, it is Ella Purnell who leaves something beautiful with her charming performance. Then there is Samuel L. Jackson who once again scores high as the antagonist – there are some dialogues from him which are so much memorable; Eva Green also follows the same path, but on the other side. Asa Butterfield reminds one, and brings some of the Harry Potter effect in this one too.

The claws of flaw :: There is no shortage of the feeling that we have seen this before so much. We have always known X-Men and what they called as the Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters. The peculiar children just become another version of the X-Men when they were all younger. There is also no big mission to do here, which makes this not that much of a flick that most people would have expected. The monsters remind one of some Guillermo del Toro effect, as if Pan’s Labyrinth or Crimson Peak has decided to have a peek – they are still not that less interesting. With its magic and its protagonist accompanied by the magic, one is certain to feel some amount of Harry Potter in this one. There is also the lack of best use of the available resources – this could have been one big movie of magic, but that much is certainly not there.

How it finishes :: Tim Burton surely brings something special in making these kind of movies, as we have already seen in the two nice Johnny Depp starrers Dark Shadows and Alice in Wonderland, both having their fantasy elements at the right places. Well, referring to the same actor with this man at the helm, there was also Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Also in that list is Planet of the Apes, which I consider better than the franchise which is going on now, and that earlier special flick, Sleepy Hollow. Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children might be the kind of movie which had left people wondering about what it contains, but based on a book by American author Ransom Riggs, seems to have left us with enough to be interested in, watching the whole thing on the screen.

Release date: 30th September 2016
Running time: 127 minutes
Directed by: Tim Burton
Starring: Eva Green, Asa Butterfield, Chris O’Dowd, Allison Janney, Rupert Everett, Terence Stamp, Ella Purnell, Lauren McCrostie, Judi Dench, Samuel L. Jackson, Finlay MacMillan, Pixie Davies, Cameron King, Georgia Pemberton, Milo Parker, Raffiella Chapman, Hayden Keeler-Stone

missperegrineshomee

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Dark Shadows

darkshadows (16)

✠ The rating given to this movie might shock a few mortals, but as this blog written from the Vampire Bat’s perspective, he has decided to take control to fulfill his partially broken promise to that Count who lived as a recluse inside a coffin in a castle. Yes, the Vampire Bat doesn’t broke promises, or rather doesn’t break anything other than may be, his own teeth – blame the root canal offers from local dentists in that case. To add to it, the Vampire Bat shall write this review on a Wednesday, as he was born on such a day. He is mentally depressed after writing a test, and after asserting what he had found out that each and every other person of his world wants the questions from the syllabus while he wants the same from outside. May be he never belonged to the world of humans, and should rather fly away one day. But the depressing side is that he can’t fly – so he will write a bloody review about one of his favourite vampire movies, and undoubtedly his favourite blood sucking movie of 2012. Yes, this is that movie.

Count Dracula: Here you are again. I think that your review of Dark Shadows has been pending for long. Do you have it with you? Its time Barnabas Collins gets his due. He is one of those few vampires who could see McDonalds and feel the presence of Mephistopheles. He is our saviour against Twilight and Mortal Instruments creatures of pseudo-darkness.

Vampire Bat: I can see that you feel the need for some good vampires like Barnabas Collins and Victoria Winters. I love that scene when he sees M for McDonalds: Over 1 billion served. He was accidently quite right about the fast food and the beverages being the demons who suck the soul out of our insides, leaving us nothing of much use. Twilight and Mortal Instruments are the result of the same fast food, as they mess up our brain rather than the stomach.

Count Dracula: So what do you think about this vampire and his family? I did feel the presence of other wonderful forces of the supernatural right from outside the theatre where it was showing – I was wandering around in the mist until I crashed on the wall of that place, it was not good for my fangs, but still felt good for the presence.

Vampire Bat: Barnabas returns 196 years later, after feeling the wrath of unrequited love from a witch, Angelique Bouchard who cursed him into a bloodsucker, killed his parents and also forced his true love to commit suicide. She is a witch who curses his family and gets him buried alive in the middle of a forest, takes over his family business and puts his descendents into ruin. The worst thing is that the witch is still alive, using her magic to identify herself as her own descendants. This love has always been so overrated, right?

Count Dracula: Yes, even with me it is the same. I already feel a lot of love for Angelique Bouchard. Eva Green is that good, and I still can’t forget The Dreamers. I can remember my first infatuation with a witch already. Why would he not return the love baffles me. Whom does he have instead?

Vampire Bat: There is Bella Heathcote taking rebirth, from Josette du Pres to Victoria Winters. She appears as if an enchanting fairy vampire, not as some random Bella. But the two characters you will surely love are Michelle Pfeiffer’s Elizabeth Collins Stoddard and Chloë Grace Moretz’s Carolyn who asks “are you stoned or something” to which the recently risen Barnabas says “they tried stoning me dear, it did not work”. To add to it, he calls a lava lamp “pulsating blood urn”, and the crane as “a giant dragon with millions of teeth and a thousand shining eyes” – you have to love him. His seriousness is awesome!

Count Dracula: I have felt that myself, rising from the grave and seeing the world different. I know you feel the change each and every day. The world is indeed to fast, and I am sure that most of us hope that each and every day we go to sleep, we never wake up again. I wish for the sunlight to disappear, and you hope for the day to end, and there is not much different in how we see the world, and we are as outdated as Barnabas Collins; it is just that we have no lover witch.

Vampire Bat: Yes, I have always thought that, and Dark Shadows makes sure about the same. Moretz is wonderful in the movie, and the way she says “I’m a werewolf, okay? Don’t make such a big deal over it” to her mother, and always special mention needs to be for Michelle Pfeiffer and Helena Bonham Carter. Meanwhile, if you don’t like Bella Heathcote in this movie, you have to be blind – not that closing of eyes you do with sunlight, but the real blindness of the physical world.

Count Dracula: You make the point there. I have read about the many faces of Johnny Depp too, and I shall not doubt him at any moment. This face is my favourite indeed, and then comes that Jack Sparrow followed by the crow-carrying head in The Lone Ranger. Then comes Sweeney Todd and The Hatter – who won’t love Alice in Wonderland by the way, and they were two special characters. I am not going to count the faces of such a versatile actor, as that won’t even please my coffin. Instead tell me more about Eva Green.

Vampire Bat: Her character has angel in her name and some strange love which keeps her in the attitude that “If I can’t have you, my love, I’ll destroy you!” – not that much of hatred as she keeps him alive; should be too much admiration. She tries everything she can, but true love finally wins – not really a surprise, isn’t it? Eva Green is fantastic in the movie, as she is beautiful, charming and perfect as the pretty witch. The cast itself is the real strength of the movie. With such awesome names involved with it, who would not wish to watch this movie? The comedy is also well done.

Count Dracula: That sounds like interesting stuff. A vampire movie with all of these? That should cure me from the death strike which fell on me with Twilight and Mortal Instruments. I shall have a new life of blood. You should have reviewed this one much earlier – remember how long ago I had told you to do the same?

Vampire Bat: Despite the good box-office returns, the ratings haven’t been good with it. I would think that it is the result of an anti-vampire sentiment and possible cruelty which has been unleashed on vampire movies due to terror which was Twilight and all the sequels that followed tried desperately to destroy man’s faith in vampires. No wonder Byzantium didn’t release at this part of the world. There is only one chance for us to reclaim that lost faith, or rather two – release a movie from Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles, or create the much needed sequel to this movie which has left a good chance for another story by the end of it.

Count Dracula: It is much needed, that is for sure! These undead creatures are bothering me too much just because they had to watch Twilight. Even the wolves no longer listen to me – they think I am going to wear their skin as clothing and call myself a werewolf. See how these movies are badly affecting my children of the night. We need that, or I might have to turn my whole castle into a one big coffin.

Vampire Bat: There is less hope for both of them. The problem about having a Vampire Chronicles movie is that nothing can live up-to the awesomeness of Interview with the Vampire. The scope of a Dark Shadows sequel is less, due to the lack of need and the not that positive critical reception. One day, we will take over as official undead reviewers with bad teeth, and then we can change the whole thing.

Count Dracula: Then we shall stick with this Barnabas as the vampire hero of this century so far. The last century’s control was disputed, but for this one, it has become pretty clear, the only challenge being from Selene and the next closest was indeed Rayne, but they were rather the heroines who enchanted us. I shall pray for the rise of more vampire in movies and literature which are as good as Barnabas.

Vampire Bat: Yes, it is worth your time for sure, especially as you have not much to do, and all the souls are going to love it. Now, it is the time to go home and have that cup of tea, and therefore until we collide on a hunt again, good bye, Count.

Count Dracula: Good bye, best of my winged brethren; for now. May the shadows be with you, especially the dark shadows if you got what I meant.

Vampire Bat (to himself): I am fully in support of this movie mostly due to the great performance of Johnny Depp in his new avatar, and then due to the good work put into it by Eva Green with great support from the rest, especially Bella Heathcote, Chloë Grace Moretz, Michelle Pfeiffer and Helena Bonham Carter. Here, we have that true vampire comedy movie which adds almost every ingredient correctly, thus making this a great choice, and the reason why you need to go back in time and check the theatres.

✠ I don’t know about that television show or soap opera on which this movie is based, and that might not be necessary, but if you love vampire flicks and bloodsuckers in literature, you will like Dark Shadows which keep the worlds of Twilight and Mortal Instruments away. Even if you don’t care much about the same, the comic side of the movie will keep you interested. Still, there is so much seriousness underneath striving for true love, which makes this a wonderfully layered movie. I am pretty sure that whatever you like and wherever you are from, most of you will at least like this one as an average movie, and there are not many places where you can have this much vampire fun along with looking at such a great cast. Behold the beauty of the shadows of this movie, and you might end up loving it along with Bella Heathcote. This one won’t even make Count Dracula think twice, and in that case, long live Barnabas Collins, who has survived a witch’s love and watched his own dark shadows in a coffin for such a long time.

Release date: 11th May 2012
Running time: 113 minutes
Directed by: Tim Burton
Starring: Johnny Depp, Bella Heathcote, Eva Green, Chloë Grace Moretz, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Jackie Earle Haley, Jonny Lee Miller

darkshadows copy

@ Cemetery Watch
✠The Vampire Bat.