Cinderella

Vampire Owl: How many Cinderella movies have we watched?

Vampire Bat: I have lost count this time.

Vampire Owl: And how many more Cinderella movies will we watch?

Vampire Bat: It is also not something we can guess.

Vampire Owl: If Cinderella was a vampire, this would have been so perfect.

Vampire Bat: We don’t really have fairy-tales in the vampire world.

Vampire Owl: One doesn’t really need them, right?

Vampire Bat: Well, fairy-tales are lies, we all know that.

Vampire Owl: I am sure that humans are not really short of lies.

Vampire Bat: And they even want us to believe the same.

[Gets a beetroot cake and three cups of black tea].

What is the movie about? :: Vivian (Idina Menzel) leads her life in a village of hardworking people with her daughters (Maddie Baillio and Charlotte Spencer), as well as her stepdaughter Ella, then known as Cinderella (Camila Cabello) who is different from her stubborn sisters. She does almost everything in the house, but is not considered to be someone of importance. Nobody in the house likes her, and wastes no time in scolding or making fun of her, despite her best efforts to make things better. Everyone at home considers her to be an orphan, even though she is daughter to the mother’s earlier husband. It is then that Prince Robert (Nicholas Galitzine) is in requirement of a wife, but he is not really that much into it – King Rowan (Pierce Brosnan) and Queen Beatrice (Minnie Driver) are not really happy about it though, as they would have preferred him to marry someone whom they admired and win many colonies as wedding gift in the process.

So, what happens with the events here? :: As Robert goes on living his life, not intending to be the grand kind that everyone wanted to be, Princess Gwen (Tallulah Greive) hopes to be rule the realm as a queen, an idea which nobody is interested in, but she does manage to provide some ideas in between, which mostly wouldn’t suit the world she lived in. Robert would meet Cinderella in the market though, as she was trying the dress which she had designed. For them to meet again, they have to come together in a ball, and she also wants to find buyers for her clothes, and Fairy Godmother (Billy Porter) prepares her for the same, supported by the mice (James Acaster, James Corden and Romesh Ranganathan) who are transformed into men and are supposed to take her to the palace on a magical chariot. Now the question remains if she can fall in love and sell her clothes at the same time, or whether she will fail as her stepmother and stepsisters would have always thought she would. The possibilities are endless.

The defence of Cinderella :: The first song by Ella is the best one with the music, and there are a few nice songs, even though none of them rise much above that particular level, while there are some which are not interesting at all. The visuals are really good, and the magic of the original fair-tale story is maintained, even though it seems to be so more by compulsion rather than anything else – maybe this film could have been named something else and played into another tale instead of calling Cinderella for help. There are some nice ideas in the background, that is for sure, but in the implementation, it often falls on the nose, and still we find something here and there. It does have the support of some fine performances in moments, and it also thrives on the moments. After all, we can’t just avoid a Cinderella movie when it comes, even when it deviates too much from the original ideas, and even if it is not the Cinderella that we knew or wanted to watch.

The claws of flaw :: For a Cinderella movie, this one is really strange. Its deviations often feel dumb, and often it feels useless. We have watched so many Cinderella films that we know what the story should really be about despite adding something not suiting at all. Some of the music does get irritating, just like a few of the characters fo manage to do. It is the same reason why it also feels foolish at times. The director here does have some weird and silly ideas about making a Cinderella film, and one has to understand that there are a few things which really make a Cinderella, just like without a few things, some classics and fairytales are not complete – Hamlet needs vengeance, Macbeth needs the witch-like creatures, Rapunzel needs the long hair etc. This is where Cinderella making the unnecessary deviation without creativity falls behind, and in the process, it is also too long a film, considering what kind of content it has.

Performers of the soul :: A lot of characters in the movie do look strange, even though many of them seems to excel in this. Camila Cabello is really good, without doubt, and the same can be said about Idina Menzel and Pierce Brosnan. Camila Cabello has some fine moments which rise a long way up, while it is always good to see Pierce Brosnan in any role. Idina Menzel has her stepmother role smaller than what one would have expected. Maddie Baillio and Charlotte Spencer plays the usual stepdaughters of the good old fairytale. Nicholas Galitzine and Minnie Driver are okay, but seem to overdo things at some moments, and some of their dialogues are ridiculously silly – but that is more or less inheriting the silly mood of the film itself. Tallulah Greive plays basically a useless role, and she doesn’t have enough screen-space either. A number of smaller characters in this film seems to be strangely written, and we would have actually done better without them as some of them also manage to look much ridiculous. Billy Porter as the fairy godmother is nonsense.

How it finishes :: Cinderella with this version is enjoyable only because of parts. Otherwise, it is irritating in other parts. It needed better music and try not to use nonsense to sell its ideas. These won’t suit in a Cinderella film either, but as it does look good, and because we have always loved Cinderella, we go on with it. As it has released on Amazon Prime Video, there is always the option to fast forward those unnecessary elements. When people try to divert a classic fairytale without not much thinking, I can assure you that there are many areas where you wish to fast forward. If you accept people’s right to be silly if they have a high budget, and enjoy the rest, you can enjoy the magic with the visual extravaganza. Well, we have accepted many stupid films which looked good or a few others with dumb fun, it is very much possible to be entertained by this.

Release date: 3rd September 2021
Running time: 113 minutes
Directed by: Kay Cannon
Starring: Camila Cabello, Idina Menzel, Minnie Driver, Nicholas Galitzine, Billy Porter, Pierce Brosnan, Maddie Baillio, Charlotte Spencer, Tallulah Greive

<— Click here to go to the previous review.

<— Click here to go to the previous fantasy movie review.

<— Click here to go to the previous Hollywood direct Amazon release.

<— Click here to go to the previous Hollywood delayed Amazon release.

<— Click here to go to the review of the most watched Indian film on Amazon.

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

Jupiter Ascending

jupiterascending (0)

Vampire Owl :: So we are going to Jupiter. I have heard that Uncle Dracula has accelerated his teleportation abilities to find a method to travel to other planet. Is the procedure already popular?

Vampire Bat :: He is such a vampire mutant. No, we are not going to Jupiter yet.

Vampire Owl :: So, we are going to meet the god himself. Isn’t he still more popular as Zeus?

Vampire Bat :: No, we shall meet no god. We are going to watch the movie in which Mila Kunis is Jupiter, a janitor.

Vampire Owl :: Why would we watch it on a Friday when I have my undead policies to work on?

Vampire Bat :: Because it comes from the makers of The Matrix and the trailer gives the feeling of a spectacle?

Vampire Owl :: Yes, now I remember. This is the movie that made you wait so much that you became one year older.

Vampire Bat :: Yes, I became an year older because it was delayed for about an year.

Vampire Owl :: Then, we should surely watch it.

Vampire Bat :: Let Jupiter ascend then.

[Gets the tickets].

What is it about? :: Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis) calls herself as an alien as she is an illegal immigrant to the United States. She spends her life a janitor and keeps hating her world until one day, she meets with some real aliens, except for the fact that this time they are after her and won’t stop until she is dead. But Caine Wise (Channing Tatum), a hunter comes out of nowhere to save her and make her known that her genetic structure makes her alien royalty and the one to inherit Earth. The three siblings of the same royal house, Balem (Eddie Redmayne), Titus (Douglas Booth) and Kalique (Tuppence Middleton) do have different plans for her. There are also mercenaries after her, with some of them planning to capture her alive. But the question remains about who wants her alive and who wants her to be dead; if to be alive, for how long and what is the purpose for a huge challenge to the throne like her being left to live? Jupiter knows not much, and Caine can’t guess that much as he is a figher and not a thinker.

The defence of Jupiter Ascending :: Welcome to the new world, and this is a vast collection of planets among which Earth is just a part of, and therefore the scope was present for a lot of visual splendour, and there, we are not disappointed at all. You have to be stunned at the looks of different cities of this fictional universe and be amazed, and there are nicely designed spaceships, and those gadgets, plus those aliens, humanoids and the alien humanoids who never cease coming to the screen. There is a good idea here too, on which the world has been created, and the special effects are efficiently utilized to the needs of the movie. There is the abundance of themes and also some very good acting from the major members of the cast. The action sequences are really good and they are available in plenty. The costumes are impressive, and the idea is laid there for more movies, and a trilogy would be a nice option with this one as the origins story – there is a big universe out there and a story of mystery and deception has just started.

Positives and Negatives :: There are many movies which this one can remind you about, the last one being Guardians of the Galaxy, even as the plot stays different with its core elements. I would consider this superior to that movie though, and you can understand it by just looking at the artistic style that has been used with the detail. You might have been missing Star Wars or have been a fan of Mass Effect, this could work nicely with your ideas. The movie also takes too much time to get to the point, and almost an hour passes by when things get interesting – it is a sad miss there, as there was the scope to begin nicely right from the beginning with pace. There are some minor moments of dumbness, here and any fault that you can find with this movie is coated by the entertainer side, as the visual splendour, action and some humour keeps taking over. Among those space adventures, Jupiter Ascending has a major place, and no matter what the box-office results are, it shall be remembered.

Performers of the soul :: Mila Kunis takes the lead here playing the possible leader and the new queen of the universe, and undoubtedly the one to own Earth – she plays her character with all the possible features that are expected from someone like Jupiter Jones of Earth. You have to love how she says “I love dogs, I’ve always loved dogs”, and “I hate my life” again and again. Channing Tatum is the hero, and the one who saves the day, but there is almost nothing that revolves around him as Mila remains the key. From cleaning toilets, her character rises to the highest point, making the title perfectly relevant, as her ascension to the throne as well as that rise from being a nobody are concerned. Among the other royalty, the big antagonist Eddie Redmayne comes up with the worst performance, and it doesn’t matter what the Academy Awards are going to say. Douglas Booth is moslty good, but Tuppence Middleton is the most charming and the most interesting among them all with her character still remaining a mystery – she is also the prettiest on the screen. Do look out for Sean Bean too.

Soul exploration 1: The Other Side of the Coin :: Jupiter Rising is in many ways, the other side of the coin whose one side is Interstellar. If you liked Interstellar, and doesn’t find this interesting, I don’t see why. This one also entertains the existence of a certain other kind of human beings belonging to other dimensions, whose existence is further more than those of an ordinary human. Yes, such maker creatures were already there in Prometheus, and they continue to make appearances in the movies. The best thing about Jupiter Ascending is that it has no pseudo-intellectual nonsense. I have known rather too many people who thought that Interstellar was pure nonsense, and so if critics feel that this movie is bad, I would add them to the list made for this other side of the coin. Jupiter Rising is Interstellar‘s side of entertainment, and also having better visual splendour, world settings and thrills. So, I see no reason why I should rate this one lower than Interstellar. I also saw no reason why Guaridans of the Galaxy had too many positive reviews compared to this one either. After all, our movie here has a message and works so well on its theme.

Soul exploration 2: The Take on Human Desire :: The movie takes on the human desire to have those insignificant things, and their “wants” which takes over the “needs” of the rest of human beings, using them to their advantage. The rich only gets richer and feeds on the poor, completely denying their needs. Are the rulers that we see in the movie satisfied after inheriting so much? Absolutely not. The “want” only becomes more, and for the same, it is the common human population that suffers. The higher level of people only thrives by “harvesting” the labours of the common man, which related to the “harvesting of Earth” in the movie. The rich and powerful ones always need more, and for the same, they desire to exploit the poor further, and this is what is seen in the movie – sometimes, a champion can rise from among the oppressed, but the question if he or she will turn as another oppressor remains. Earth is refered to as “underdeveloped” – take that point. Nobody here even knows or cares about The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water which might never release, and Seventh Son has completely disappeared – Jupiter Ascending should do okay for the same reason, and a possible failure at this part of the world should be only because of the “A” certificate.

Release date: 6th February 2015
Running time: 127 minutes
Directed by: The Wachowskis
Starring: Channing Tatum, Mila Kunis, Tuppence Middleton, Eddie Redmayne, Douglas Booth, Sean Bean, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Charlotte Beaumont, David Ajala, Doona Bae, Terry Gilliam, Vanessa Kirby, Kick Gurry, Jeremy Swift, Tim Pigott-Smith, Maria Doyle Kennedy, James D’Arcy, Christina Cole, Frog Stone

jupiterrising

@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.