They Will Kill You

Posted on September 2, 2026 by Dr. Tennyson

Vampire Owl: They used to say these words about us related to killings.

Vampire Bat: They do this at a time when humans are the real killers.

Vampire Owl: I still wonder why they are not extinct yet.

Vampire Bat: Evil always finds a way to survive and destroy others.

Vampire Owl: For them, death leads to afterlife and not to the undead status, so they will.

Vampire Bat: Yes, we do not accept evil humans as vampire anymore.

Vampire Owl: Have you seen any good human in the last few years.

Vampire Bat: You know that I do not meet humans anymore. Too much evil around them.

Vampire Owl: All the evil overlords have always been human.

Vampire Bat: Well, humans have always been good with black magic and the chaos nodes which channel their powers.

[Gets a mango burfi and three cups of Munnar tea].

What is the movie about? :: Asia Reaves (Zazie Beetz) is coming out of a troubled past which involved a lot of time being spent in prison after she shot her abusive father. Coming out of her troubled past, she goes searching for her sister Maria Reaves (Myha’la) who was taken away by the same abusive father, and arrives at the Virgil, a huge high-rise building in New York City, posing as the new maid appointed by the special extra rich people who choose to live there. She had gathered information anything anyone last knew about Maria was that she had taken a job was a maid there, and people who take the work is never really seen outside. Lily Woodhouse (Patricia Arquette) tells Asia that the building is more than one hundred years old, and she expects her to do good work for the wealthy and elite which leaves no room for mistake. She is also given a well-arranged beautiful room to stay for the day. She meets Lilly’s husband Ray Woodhouse (Paterson Joseph) who leaves a message “They Will Kill You” on the mirror of her bathroom, but she misses the same as she moves directly into the shower and fog on the mirror erases the same.

So, what happens with the events here as we just keep looking? :: Asia notes that there are some strange sounds coming from within the walks, and while she is sleeping, a masked man attacks her, and while trying to fight back, both of them get knocked out. Soon, a few other masked people also come in from the ventilation shafts and secret passages in the room. But she wakes up and manages to fight back. They are surprised to find Asia armed and highly skilled at defending herself, managing to kill all of the assailants despite being outnumbered, thrown around and beaten up. Asia gets out of the room only to find Lily and she demands the location of Maria, who is known to work as a maid at the Virgil. But Lilly only laughs at her while Asia’s attackers resurrect, forcing her to run from them to hide herself in a room, only to find out that the windows of the building cannot be broken, and later to be stabbed by a little boy on her back. She then seeks refuge in the building’s vents, clueless about what is happening around her.

And what more happens here as something more terrifying awaits at each turn? :: Asia who manages to survive against the chasing Sharon Vanderbilt (Heather Graham) despite almost being at the receiving end of the blows, and is saved from others by Ray who explains that the Virgil is a dedicated temple to Satan, and the residents have been granted immortality by performing human sacrifices by capturing and ritually killing the young women looking for jobs as maids. He guides them through the vents and above the room of lust with naked people going through orgies of sexual activities, as Ray tells them about the other deadly sins being openly practiced within the building to please Satan. Sharon who whose head was destroyed by Asia’s shotgun had her eyeballs following them though, and they find Maria only to understand that she does not wish to leave the place at all. She tells them that she had dedicated her life as a maid there and knows what goes on there, making her a part of the Satanic pact. Asia knocks her out and tries to leave only to be hunted by the Satanists. Can the sisters make it out alive?

The defence of They Will Kill You :: The situation which is darkly comedic, but with a stylish approach to action and violence, with fights very much interesting at all times – there is nothing much that one can expect here more than what we see on the screen here. Zazie Beetz whom we know the best from Deadpool 2 is a perfect scream queen survivor fighter here too, as she goes through the fights and maintains that emotional weight, as she balances her feelings with survivalist action – the first fight in the room is too good with style and fun as she excels right there, with those unexpected moves and sets the tone really well for what is to follow in the movie later; there is even a nice, funny side to that battle. The environment really works in favour of the movie too, as the eerie, isolated luxury high-rise building provides a claustrophobic atmosphere which leaves one with no chance to escape and no help to be taken from outside. The use of Satanism also works in its favour like in Psycho Killer, as the terror feels like having some other-worldly influence as escape seems more and more difficult.

Positives and negatives :: The movie’s situation nicely resembles the sequel to Ready or Not which released this year with its own sisters in trouble to due to a group of families hunting them within a closed space in a luxury land property instead of this luxury building rising high. The Satanic presence was also around in that movie, and the similarities still point out the differences, with this one not being that serious, and the humour here is surely stronger with more focus on horror, while the earlier movie felt more serious and further emotional about sisterhood. The movie’s brutality might not be acceptable to everyone, but there is a certain amount of balance maintained there too. The shift between the genre can also feel strange at times. The style also takes over a little bit too much, and some elements of possible horror seems to be left unattended as the terrifying seriousness is not set as the most significant thing here. Myha’la and Heather Graham also deserved more fights here, but they are very good when they go through the same.

How it finishes :: This might be one of the most fun-filled survival horror thrillers that you might ever see in a long time, as the way in which it serves the purpose has to be appreciated. One would feel that some smaller moments could have been taken differently, but that would go unnoticed unless the viewer is digging a lot deeper. We note that this one became an entertaining watch like not many others could accomplish with similar situations. The social message about the rich hunting the poor is also there, and we see how evil has its roots in the influential sides, maintaining its terror really well. The action here is too good, and the surprise provided by the first fight in the room scores higher than ever, with another big fight in the darkness and the final battle making impact too. If you are looking for an inventive, gory, survival-based thrill ride with big action, this is the one entertainer that you are looking for, and the same can be accessed through Jio Hotstar, with Zazie Beetz stealing the show so well.

Release date: 27 March 2026
Running time: 94 minutes
Directed by: Kirill Sokolov
Starring: Zazie Beetz, Myha’la, Paterson Joseph, Tom Felton, Heather Graham, Patricia Arquette

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@ Cemetery Watch
✠ The Vampire Bat.

The Hangover III

Posted on June 1, 2013 by Dr. Tennyson

There was the age of the wolf-pack, with its own lone wolf with a beard. They have extended that age so much that the first movie had to suffer the consequences of getting the bad name of not inspiring worthy enough sequels. No, the sequels are not that horrible, but they are just faded visions of what the original was, and considering what Dude, Where’s My Car? happened to be, and the memory loss being shown in an even better way before the series, these two sequels struggle to keep up with them. Well, stupidity might save one or two movies, and the same theme which doesn’t have that much chance of repetition can’t be that much of a saviour, but as long as this part is concerned, it has just managed to make it interesting enough. It surely trails in comparison to the other Hollywood movies in the theatres right now, but it has surely made it into the good movies list, and the moments when it was going to go down can be forgiven. It has fought hard, and it has made sure that it won’t lose. As most of the shows are now already nearly booked and full around here, I guess it will have a good run here.

Welcome the wolf-pack again, for this should be their final battle in the big screen together in a Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 2, “it ends” style unless they decide to expand the triology many years later or create a spin-off or a reboot; Bradley Cooper as Phil Wenneck (the unproclaimed, but still the seeming leader of the lost wolf gang), Ed Helms as Dr. Stuart Price (the dentist-doctor with a gorgeous Thai connection) a.k.a Stu, Zach Galifianakis as Alan Garner (former member of a lone wolf-pack) and Justin Bartha as Doug Billings (the man lost and found in Las Vegas and to be lost again). Well, they surely must have had a death wish, not only in the movie, but also outside, as they were on a battle against Fast & Furious 6 which had already accumulated enough people to watch the movie with its first trailer itself. There were people who forgot everything else just for that one racing-action-adventure movie, and unfortunately, this movie doesn’t create that high an impression, and it also fails to invoke curiosity, thanks to the second installment of the series which preceded this. But the gang is still up for a fight, and they will surely win territories especially because the Vin Diesel starrer was released one week earlier at this part of the world.

After being arrested in Bangkok, Leslie Chow (Ken Jeong) escapes from prison through a tunnel he made in the The Shawshank Redemption style using a prison riot as cover. Meanwhile, Alan Garner (Zach Galifianakis) has gotten mentally worse and tries buying a giraffe as a friend but it gets beheaded under a bridge causing a Final Destination 2 situation on the highway minus the horrible deaths. His father is shocked and angry at him and dies of a heart attack. After the funeral, Alan’s old friends Phil Wenneck (Bradley Cooper), Doug Billings (Justin Bartha) and Stuart Price (Ed Helms) make a return to find out that he is kind of out of control and decides to get him to rehabilitation centre. But they are captured by Marshall (John Goodman) and asks them to return the gold Chow had stolen from them, along with the robber himself, as Alan was the only one in contact with him through letters to and from the Thai prison. He also keeps Doug as a prisoner so that they won’t stray away from their path. Now they have three days to find the person or their friend dies, an equation which is simple enough.

Alan has an e-mail from Chow talking about them meeting in the city of Tijuana in Mexico. Stu and Phil attempt to drug Chow and capture him, but when he finds it out, they reveal to him about the deal with Marshall and the need to save Doug. Chow agrees to take the gold back to the man, but it is stored in the walls of the basement of a Mexican villa that he used to own before he was captured by the police. Stu, Alan and Phil goes on the robbery mission with Chow and successfully find and take out the gold from inside the walls. But Chow cheats them, as he locks them down in the basement, alerts the security, and escapes with Phil’s own vehicle. They are arrested, but are surprised when they are taken back to the house from where the stole the money. There they meet Marshall again who tells them that Chow had lied to them amd the villa never belonged to him, and the gold which they were stealing belonged to Marshall. But he gives them another chance, as they already found Chow and they might be the only ones who might know where to look for him. So the wolf-pack is out there again, this time with less clues.

One thing that might be clearer than most of the things out there must be the fact that there is no real hangover in this one and therefore the title is of lesser significance and this one belonging to the series is more of a less suitable thing. But still, arguing that this movie is the result of two hangovers that happened earlier, and mostly the first one, this is that part of the series which is an extension. It has both the first and the second parts in it, and it tries to build on those two, and without them, this movie is absolute nothingness. The movie successfully deviates from the original formula, but that has done not much good, except for bringing a little dark shade associated with what was otherwise good fun. This dark side is rather an eclipse and with it should this movie series end, as it is known. But they have given themselves a scope for another movie with that end, and it is not a good sign. It should have ended with the scene before the closing credits, but it chose to bring a hangover element to this movie after it had successfully finished. That was one of the worst things ever, as a happy ending which is really an end, would have done this series a lot of good. Now someone might think about building on it and make it miserable without knowing that all good things must end well.

There is lot of fun, but it should still be considered as a lazy effort, with nothing special to offer, and what it has done is that it has alienated the common viewers who loved it even further more. The essence of losing one person has been kept in there though, as one person is destined to be lost in every movie of the series, and this time, it is again Doug which gets his “I am lost, please find me” score to two out of three, which is very good as he has much less to do even as an important member of the wolf-pack. There is too much of Chow instead, which is surely funny, but at times it does get irritating. The most laughter-deriving character is still that of Alan, and there is nothing changing that this time too. For the Malayalam movie watchers, there is a little bit of Jagadish from In Harihar Nagar in Alan this time, and it can be identified by the way in which he cries with no reason. 2 Harihar Nagar and In Ghost House Inn had made better sequels in Malayalam, but this one doesn’t do that much good to the original. The lack of innovation haunts this movie in its soul and the jokes might not be enough for all.

Behold the negative reviews though, for how much can something go on with a group of alcoholic drug addicts who mess up things because of their own fault only. The repetition always have its limitations, and the lack of repetition leads to a diversion from what made this series a grand success; such is the confusion and thus the complication. There is a limit to what drugs and alcohol can achieve, even in the movies. With the signs, “Alcohol is injurious to Health”, “Smoking is Injurious to Health” and “Drugs Kill”, the movie might have been against the use of the drugs which started all the trouble in the first place, but in many ways, it also glorifies the same, just as the Malayalam movie Spirit glorifies alcohol consumption throughout the first half. The comparison is surely far-fetched, but when you deconstruct them, there is a seventy five percent chance that you come up with the same conclusion once in a while. As this is an R-rated comedy, one has to wonder how much the censor board has cut just to make it adjustable to this world. One has to wait for the DVD to know exactly how much of the movie has gone to the grave, never seen by the people of this part of the world. Still, this time it looks less cut and that is a surprise!

Release date: 31st May 2013 (India), 23rd May 2013 (USA)
Running time: 100 minutes
Directed by: Todd Phillips
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis, Ken Jeong, Heather Graham, Jeffrey Tambor, Justin Bartha, John Goodman, Jamie Chung, Lela Loren