Vampire Owl: Now that is indeed interesting. I might give it a Facebook like even without seeing the movie. So you mean to say that no one lives in the end? Everyone dies? This strange guy kills everyone?

Vampire Bat: No, he keeps the girl alive, but he does say that no one lives as he kills the last guy. But most of us would know that she might get to survive right from the beginning itself, and don’t we all love Adelaide Clemens?

Vampire Owl: Now that is indeed a disappointing side.

[Twenty three blood shakes later]

Count Dracula: Here you are again. I wouldn’t think that your owl friend was completely in favour of the movie. That one is a mystery, and obviously a flying person. But the fact remains that the only thing that we care about a lot is your opinion. You are the flightless Vampire Bat who watches more movies than anyone I ever knew.

Vampire Bat: Vampire Owl’s opinion is gore-infested. There is a clear positive review right there, the only negative being “some one lives”. But I take a different path, and yet both of us go against the usual reviews about the same.

Count Dracula: Doesn’t this come from Ryuhei Kitamura who directed The Midnight Meat Train? It was one of my favourite movies. There was lot of blood and gore involved and there was chilling twist. Vinnie Jones as Mahogany – thats a villain who every vampire Count needs to have as a henchman or even hitman. May be I should emply such a person so that we can have uninterrupted supply of blood? May be we should shift to a place under a city. Mad me think a lot. So this can’t be bad either.

Vampire Bat: Well, that was based on Clive Barker’s 1984 short story of the same name. He is indeed a master of horror, taking one back to the other movies Hellraiser and Candyman, as well as the computer game Undying. Our movie doesn’t seem to be based on anything which might be why it doesn’t have that touch which The Midnight Meat Train had. But it is still a very good treat for the horror fans who are in support of the blood and gore, and also somewhat for the others.

Count Dracula: Yes, even I feel the same. Who is this guy mentioned as Driver? Is he as good as Mahagony. From the trailers, it seemed that he could also make as much good a villain as Mahagony, but I have my doubts if he is the hero or the villain? What is it about?

Vampire Bat: There is a couple travelling in the country area, and this couple is attacked by a group of thieves who captures both, one of them who is Driver. They are both tortured for their credit card and pin numbers and the girl decides to end her life by pushing against the thief’s knife. Driver breaks free and kill the thief. But the other thieves who has the car finds out that there is a young girl tied up and locked in the back of the car. As they take her out, she tells the story of a man who killed her friends and locked her up. The thieves go back to find their dead friend, and when they bring the body back, Driver emerges from inside the body which was stitched from the inside to avenge the death of his lady!

Count Dracula: That grabs my attention, but I guess that he should be almost invisible, a tougher guy than Mahagony. Isn’t the role played by Luke Evans? I remember him mostly for Immortals, even as I have to admit that he surprised me in The Raven and Fast & Furious 6, thanks to your recommendation in that case. I got a feeling that he is going to surprise me further in The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. Does his charm work out with this movie?

Vampire Bat: Yes, he is also going to be there for The Crow reboot as well as in Dracula Untold. He is good in this movie even with those strange expressions at times, and even as his character is too one-dimensional and there is not much explanations like you found in The Midnight Meat Train. He is just the driver who kills, and he indeed has many cruel ways of killing people; and in this story, most of them are bad people. A better character could have served better. But you have to think more about the three main beauties, Adelaide Clemens, Laura Ramsey and America Olivo.

Count Dracula: I guess I know how America Olivo is going to impress us, and yes her presence is a boost in rather an unconventional way, and she is always good in that. I remember her from Friday the 13th, and there is going to be more of her in the 2012 movie Maniac when I watch it. I remember Laura Ramsey from The Ruins too – if there was no Amber Heard, may be she could have suited for such roles. Adelaide Clemens is a cutie indeed, and I can remember her very well from that movie you recommended – Silent Hill: Revelation 3D.

Vampire Bat: Yes, the three of them serve their purpose, and Adelaide Clemens rules the movie, not without being a little irritating at times, but I guess that comes with a character who has suffered. America Olivo seems to be custom fit for her death scene, and she seems to be proving that horror movies might need her a lot – well one has to say that Driver is indeed fond of killing wherever the place is. Laura Ramsey could have had a bigger role to play, even as there is a certain amount of mysterious beauty in her character as she goes on to kill herself to end her suffering. There is also Lindsey Shaw who suffers for no reason.

Count Dracula: Well, one has to guess that this movie is full of suffering. I wonder if Driver going the Mahagony way can come up with anything less. The Vampire Owl had told me that Driver wears a Kevlar vest, and rarely makes a mistake. Now that is too much for a man who doesn’t explain who or what he is. Do you have any idea what on the Earth he is? Why is he called Driver and why does he go around killing people?

Vampire Bat: My first guess was that he is a revenge seeker, but we can’t be sure about that. He does have another name and his actions with the thieves are justified, but there is no point to what he has been doing for a long time – may be there is a long story behind all that which they wanted to leave a mystery. But that doesn’t help much, as this often becomes a movie in which “a random highly skilled person kills a number of random people due to some random reason that we have no idea about”. We can only guess that he is a random serial killer.

Count Dracula: The nameless, aimless ones impress a lot of people, no wonder. They needed someone like me. I could have done better job than Driver and could have even left my card there. I know my motivations too. Someone kills everyone in a mission to kill anyone, and no one lives except one – so said Vampire Owl. The ways of horror movies can only get stranger.

Vampire Bat: Still, there is the gore-fest made in a creative manner, and moments of shock successfully created. As I already said, the three ladies are kind of horror specialists, as they have acted and proved in such movies, and they continue to impress here, with Luke Evans who becomes the serial killer who could gain varied responses. There are also some good dialogues. Only if the movie could tell the viewers what it was actually trying to do…

Count Dracula: Its produced by WWE Studios right? I think they are getting better every time. The blood itself should inspire me to watch this one. There is a party coming up, and it is only by watching the blood that my blood shake making ability get better. I am going to watch this one on a big LED screen!

Vampire Bat: Yes, it is worth your time of blood for sure, and let me know how much you are going to rate it with the blood and without it. Now, it is the time for me to go home and have that cup of tea, and therefore until we collide on a bloody discussion again, good bye, Count.

Count Dracula: Good bye, world’s most efficient movie watching Bat. May the sky never fall on your head.

Vampire Bat (to himself): I am fully in support of this movie mostly due to the surprises that comes with it. Even as I am not much into blood and gore these days, this one has a river of the same. It also has a lot of good moment and dialogues despite the irritation factor staying with it. The lead actor is a brutal killer (Luke Evans Almighty without his ark and the animals) at his best and the ladies look great, plus the murders are innovative enough. I shall sign a petition if there is one about making a sequel to this, for I need to get into the origins of this killer, if they have even thought about him having a life before beginning to do all these things.

✠ If you liked The Strangers, and felt the need for more blood and gore, you might like this one more. This movie also has murders for almost no reason at all. When the excuse of that movie was about the couple being home, our killer makes the excuse that it keeps him fit. Well, I have had better excuses with me when I had failed to do homework during school days. Well, none of these killers are that evil as the fire-breathing demon which is Mathematics. WWE Studios has evolved from making horror flicks like See No Evil which was okay, to this one which is very good. Yes, being a WWE fan (even though I no longer watch the matches) when the movies have that WWE logo before the beginning, it interests me – isn’t WWE also the same as the movie? Well, some of the stories in World Wrestling Entertainment were many times better than some of the stories associated with a few movies. This is a very short movie which takes less than one and half hours too, and that should make one either happy or unhappy.

Release date: 10th May 2013
Running time: 86 minutes
Directed by: Ryuhei Kitamura
Starring: Luke Evans, Adelaide Clemens, America Olivo, Laura Ramsey, Lindsey Shaw, Lee Tergesen, Derek Magyar, Beau Knapp, Brodus Clay

@ Cemetery Watch
✠The Vampire Bat.